So I am a pharmaceutical sales rep aka legal drug dealer and let me tell you how can some of these crazies be doctors? Doctors who save and hold people's lives in their hands.
Example: " I think I am going to get hand guns for every exam room since people are getting more and more ghetto."
WHAT the fuck!? Really, I am not anti gun but seriously? And the worst part is I have to not totally call him a fuckface and retard, so I respond: " Can you pass the bread"
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Answer me this...
OK I love my husband but sometimes just sometimes...
How is it I feel like I give everything, and he gets mad and I give him everything he wants but not everything I want. Maybe more than that I get mad because he gets mad at me because of things he has done to me...
I sit there and call him before I do anything, clean the whole place all the time, (I am not the best cook, I will give him that), work hard to make more money aka saving for a moter cycle for him, and constantly jump on his bones.
Now after being not giving the same response (which I didn't take in a bad way) but more in a way that "Hey I will be the exact same way you have been to me" I get a bad response. Please answer me this?
How do I mirror your exact reaction that you have given me then you make me feel bad? Not in a bitchy horrible way but I really let alot of shit go most of my girlfriends dont...what so ever! Now I am no where near perfect but seriously I try to only react to the same I am given, but I get this girly reaction from a guy's guy!
So please tell me.....why should I put up with this reaction, HUH?
I suck a good dick, never ask for money, love him, give him compliments, and boost his ego....I get why are you going out (he went out the night before), watches porn, and overall acts like a lesbian lover. On a side note I am irritated and had a couple of glasses a wine, hmmmm maybe I am a little pissed off.
How is it I feel like I give everything, and he gets mad and I give him everything he wants but not everything I want. Maybe more than that I get mad because he gets mad at me because of things he has done to me...
I sit there and call him before I do anything, clean the whole place all the time, (I am not the best cook, I will give him that), work hard to make more money aka saving for a moter cycle for him, and constantly jump on his bones.
Now after being not giving the same response (which I didn't take in a bad way) but more in a way that "Hey I will be the exact same way you have been to me" I get a bad response. Please answer me this?
How do I mirror your exact reaction that you have given me then you make me feel bad? Not in a bitchy horrible way but I really let alot of shit go most of my girlfriends dont...what so ever! Now I am no where near perfect but seriously I try to only react to the same I am given, but I get this girly reaction from a guy's guy!
So please tell me.....why should I put up with this reaction, HUH?
I suck a good dick, never ask for money, love him, give him compliments, and boost his ego....I get why are you going out (he went out the night before), watches porn, and overall acts like a lesbian lover. On a side note I am irritated and had a couple of glasses a wine, hmmmm maybe I am a little pissed off.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Hmmm fantasies
Ok so I love S. more than life itself and we have a great sex life but honestly the other night I fantaqsized I was having sex with Edward from the Twilight series! Seriously I just saw the movie and damn was the guy hot! Only thing that kind of upset me was the actor is only 22! Holy shit I officially am starting to feel old.
I feel like I am 18 in my mind but apparently the clock does not stop. I am starting to get smile lines! WHAT THE HECK! I need to stop laughing and smiling apparently.
On the front Thanksgiving is coming up and I really could do without. Do not get me wrong my family is great and we have a blast but Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday, food is ok but kind of boring. I am not a football person and most of the parts of the dinner I could do without. I hate cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes (I know my parents want to kill me), and candied yams...so pretty much I only enjoy stuffing, and the turkey. Now I am a grown woman and will eat all of it but could do without. For S. it is a great day since he is a garbage compact man with a wooden leg. (Seriously annoying that he never gains any weight!)
I am sure I will have some ridicuolous stories from the night before or the day of so if I don't write before that I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving with their families and friends.
I feel like I am 18 in my mind but apparently the clock does not stop. I am starting to get smile lines! WHAT THE HECK! I need to stop laughing and smiling apparently.
On the front Thanksgiving is coming up and I really could do without. Do not get me wrong my family is great and we have a blast but Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday, food is ok but kind of boring. I am not a football person and most of the parts of the dinner I could do without. I hate cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes (I know my parents want to kill me), and candied yams...so pretty much I only enjoy stuffing, and the turkey. Now I am a grown woman and will eat all of it but could do without. For S. it is a great day since he is a garbage compact man with a wooden leg. (Seriously annoying that he never gains any weight!)
I am sure I will have some ridicuolous stories from the night before or the day of so if I don't write before that I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving with their families and friends.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Pulled in every direction
Do you ever feel like you are being pullled in every direction. I love my life, I love my family and I love my friends but sometimes just sometimes I fell like it is too much.....
A. my best friend has an eating disorder and usually a mess, but I finally told her I would not be her friend if she wouldn't get help. She did but I feel like I need to keep her okay...
B. One of my friends has a boyfriend who is a crackhead, but the craziest thing is she is brilliant who has gone to a grad school that is an ivy league and is kind nice and good..
C. My sister had a miscarriage and now is pregnant about 18 weeks and happy but always on edge
D. My other girlfriend is broken up with a guy who hit her before she dumped him and I think she should not talk to him....
So with all of this happening I think a few thoughts
A. WHAT the fuck is going on, how did this happen
B. I need to not talk to anyone
C. How do I help all of these people that I love
D. I feel so lucky to be me
So mix all of that together and what you get is someone who is exhausted and happy to have friends but someone who prays that everyone will be happy. I have too many friends and my husband who se eme as this rock adn I am there but they never listen they never care, they keep spiraling out of control...I can only try and sometimes that does not feel enough....
A. my best friend has an eating disorder and usually a mess, but I finally told her I would not be her friend if she wouldn't get help. She did but I feel like I need to keep her okay...
B. One of my friends has a boyfriend who is a crackhead, but the craziest thing is she is brilliant who has gone to a grad school that is an ivy league and is kind nice and good..
C. My sister had a miscarriage and now is pregnant about 18 weeks and happy but always on edge
D. My other girlfriend is broken up with a guy who hit her before she dumped him and I think she should not talk to him....
So with all of this happening I think a few thoughts
A. WHAT the fuck is going on, how did this happen
B. I need to not talk to anyone
C. How do I help all of these people that I love
D. I feel so lucky to be me
So mix all of that together and what you get is someone who is exhausted and happy to have friends but someone who prays that everyone will be happy. I have too many friends and my husband who se eme as this rock adn I am there but they never listen they never care, they keep spiraling out of control...I can only try and sometimes that does not feel enough....
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
HOLY SHIT!
I know I am the worst blogger ever, and there is no one to blame but myself. Soooo lets try and sum up the last 5 months. Started my new whiz bangy job which I love. I am a legal drg dealer who wines and dines medical professionals (I have lots of great fucked up stories to come...). I also got married which was great and it went so well and was a blast (lots of stories too) and still have a tendency to drink to much.
I still have the quarterlife craziness, hmmm all of a sudden I have become a baby machine or should be because to my parents there is absolutely no other reason to get married. My new name should be Mrs. Resistant to become a breeding machine just yet. Luckily my sister just got pregnant so that should hold them off for a while. I mean really what other parents besides irish catholics are asking you a month before you walk down the aisle when you are getting knocked up (after they offer you a drink). My response is " I have spent this long not trying to get pregnant and I would like to drink at my wedding?"
Lots of drama with the friends which will dedicate whole blogs for each of them. Luckily and knock on wood I have no craziness as of now. Family good, Husband good (sounds way to weird and almost snooty to say that shit) and work is good. I am holding my breath that this will last since I have never had happiness in all three at once ever. THANK you for that right now. I will be better about keeping up with this since I miss all of my bloggers!
I still have the quarterlife craziness, hmmm all of a sudden I have become a baby machine or should be because to my parents there is absolutely no other reason to get married. My new name should be Mrs. Resistant to become a breeding machine just yet. Luckily my sister just got pregnant so that should hold them off for a while. I mean really what other parents besides irish catholics are asking you a month before you walk down the aisle when you are getting knocked up (after they offer you a drink). My response is " I have spent this long not trying to get pregnant and I would like to drink at my wedding?"
Lots of drama with the friends which will dedicate whole blogs for each of them. Luckily and knock on wood I have no craziness as of now. Family good, Husband good (sounds way to weird and almost snooty to say that shit) and work is good. I am holding my breath that this will last since I have never had happiness in all three at once ever. THANK you for that right now. I will be better about keeping up with this since I miss all of my bloggers!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Need to stop traveling
I am so freaking tired, I am still at training which is crazy but this friday I left early for one of my best friends wedding. I was a co-maid of honor in her wedding. It was over 4 hours to get home which sucked (should have only taken 2 hours) but the rehearsal was fun and the wedding was great. A little disorganized but alot of fun. I have never seen a bride more nervous in my entire life. The poor thing was so beautiful but she got so nervous and blotchy. I kept trying to make her laugh. You actually would have been proud of me I was a smash hit with my speech and I didn't get to drunk, a little but not too drunk.
SO I have one more week of fucking training (sorry just a little sick of all the traveling) and then in three weeks will be my wedding. CRAZY shit and hopefully I won't be a blotchy bride either. Need to remember to drink a little before the ceremony.
SO I have one more week of fucking training (sorry just a little sick of all the traveling) and then in three weeks will be my wedding. CRAZY shit and hopefully I won't be a blotchy bride either. Need to remember to drink a little before the ceremony.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Crazy Bachelorette Party
Ohhh my god, My bbachelorette party was so freaking amazing! I had the best time with thirteen girlfriends of mine. I basically can sum it up in a nutshell. I got drunk, sold life savers off my chest and rode a bull until my skirt went up to my neck and my ass was shown to the whole city of Boston. Like I said, I don't go down without a bang!
On other news I am still at training and it is fun but really stressful. So much info at once but my main problem is not the science part more the sales, you have to work toward this certain verbage and algorythym which is not me. Now talking to everyone they basically say that it is not that way in the field but with any training you have to tell them what they want to hear. SO I swallow what they want and vomit it back out. Thank god for the amazing chicks I have met, it feels like 4 years of college all rolled into 4 weeks. I do feel a bit sad because S is home as sick as a dog and he is alone. I hate being sick alone so I feel extra guilty. Not that he has said anything but again Catholic guilt has come up in my veins.
So I go to bed feeling guilty, dirty from my bachelorrette party and tired from being so fake. Wish me luck, hehehe!
On other news I am still at training and it is fun but really stressful. So much info at once but my main problem is not the science part more the sales, you have to work toward this certain verbage and algorythym which is not me. Now talking to everyone they basically say that it is not that way in the field but with any training you have to tell them what they want to hear. SO I swallow what they want and vomit it back out. Thank god for the amazing chicks I have met, it feels like 4 years of college all rolled into 4 weeks. I do feel a bit sad because S is home as sick as a dog and he is alone. I hate being sick alone so I feel extra guilty. Not that he has said anything but again Catholic guilt has come up in my veins.
So I go to bed feeling guilty, dirty from my bachelorrette party and tired from being so fake. Wish me luck, hehehe!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I'm a bitch
OK I am going to revert to being a bitch (sometimes I can't help it) plus this is supposed to be the forum where I say what I really feel as opposed to what I would ever act upon. I am at training, for a whole month. You heard right....a whole month I have this great suite with a great roommate (she is from manhatten) and I have met a bucnh of cool people. But I need you to imagine a bunch of sale people. Phamraceutical sales people which mean Type A personality, good looking people who are alot of fun.
This is so great where everyone is fun. I can talk to anyone but at the same time you can figure out in three days the male whores and dirty sluts (did I mention I am a bitch). Now when I say this... I do not mean jealousy I mean guys who are married and have three kids below 6 and women who offer themselves up to two guys at once.
Part of me is torn because the girls are a bit younger and in my impetuous days I was a cock tease...BIG time. I would talk a big game but never act, and I loved attention from guys. Whatever who am I kidding I still do but not from men who have stated they are married and have kids. Hmmm I wonder if this upsets me because i AM GETTING MARRIED IN 5 WEEKS. Besides that I feel Like I hold women up to a higher standard.
There is this amazingly beautiful girl in my class, I mean I want to be her. She is hot, sweet and appears to be nice. So in my eyes I am like holy shit she has it all. Well then I see her offer herself to two guys, not jokingly.....for real. I am flabergasted because she could have any man in the crowd and she is settling for any lame ass guy paying attention to her. This is the core of me bothers me. NO women for any matter should be like this...but this girl is model hot. So I am a bitch when I say... SHE IS A SLUT.
So even though everyone is so great...guys and girls included I can't help but realize I am getting old. I think it's crazy for the hot girl to be like that and upsetting for the married man to act like such a douchebag. I seriously do not know when and where my party lifestyle made me become such a bitch?
Excuse me while I go change my depends and put on golden girls....
This is so great where everyone is fun. I can talk to anyone but at the same time you can figure out in three days the male whores and dirty sluts (did I mention I am a bitch). Now when I say this... I do not mean jealousy I mean guys who are married and have three kids below 6 and women who offer themselves up to two guys at once.
Part of me is torn because the girls are a bit younger and in my impetuous days I was a cock tease...BIG time. I would talk a big game but never act, and I loved attention from guys. Whatever who am I kidding I still do but not from men who have stated they are married and have kids. Hmmm I wonder if this upsets me because i AM GETTING MARRIED IN 5 WEEKS. Besides that I feel Like I hold women up to a higher standard.
There is this amazingly beautiful girl in my class, I mean I want to be her. She is hot, sweet and appears to be nice. So in my eyes I am like holy shit she has it all. Well then I see her offer herself to two guys, not jokingly.....for real. I am flabergasted because she could have any man in the crowd and she is settling for any lame ass guy paying attention to her. This is the core of me bothers me. NO women for any matter should be like this...but this girl is model hot. So I am a bitch when I say... SHE IS A SLUT.
So even though everyone is so great...guys and girls included I can't help but realize I am getting old. I think it's crazy for the hot girl to be like that and upsetting for the married man to act like such a douchebag. I seriously do not know when and where my party lifestyle made me become such a bitch?
Excuse me while I go change my depends and put on golden girls....
Training
Well I am here in NJ for training...definately alot of cool people and some not so cool. I will update soon and miss having sex with S. Guess my good ole vibrator will have to do.
P.S. I never knew after 4 years that my vibrator glows in the dark, hehehe!
P.S. I never knew after 4 years that my vibrator glows in the dark, hehehe!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Hmmm is S picking up or...
SO I didn't go to bed until 2 am, due to my masturbation and blogging late last night (had to catch up on all my favorites, you know who you are!) and get this!
This morning at like 6 am S gets up and gives me the normal kiss goodbye while I am in bed, and I kind of wake up hug him and tell him "Ohhh I wish you could just stay in bed with me!" then roll over and go to bed.
He leaves the room and then comes back (not sure of time frame I was asleep) and he says Hey if you can give me a ride I can stay an extra half hour (his car is in the shop and has been taking the bus)I of course agree and he gets naked comes back to bed and we have great sex.
WHAT the hell?
Is he a mind reader....or looked at the history on our computer and saw me looking up tons of scottish/irish porn? I think the latter and you know what?
GOOD I got my sex
Remind self to continue to look up porn so he remembers that I need sex too.
This morning at like 6 am S gets up and gives me the normal kiss goodbye while I am in bed, and I kind of wake up hug him and tell him "Ohhh I wish you could just stay in bed with me!" then roll over and go to bed.
He leaves the room and then comes back (not sure of time frame I was asleep) and he says Hey if you can give me a ride I can stay an extra half hour (his car is in the shop and has been taking the bus)I of course agree and he gets naked comes back to bed and we have great sex.
WHAT the hell?
Is he a mind reader....or looked at the history on our computer and saw me looking up tons of scottish/irish porn? I think the latter and you know what?
GOOD I got my sex
Remind self to continue to look up porn so he remembers that I need sex too.
My masterbation dilemma
SO I am here at 1:30 am alone after masturbating to some Scottish porn. OK not trying to get to crazy but I am sort of pissed off and a little upset. I don't know what is wrong with me and sometimes S. See the major problem I know is me and sometimes I feel like a guy who is in a girls body.
Don't take that the wrong way I don't want to be a man, but I think my view of sex is sometimes distorted or at least I feel that way due to the numerous women I know in my life and how they view it.
I have tons of friend who are married, living with their man, or been in long term relationships and all of them are ok with sex every once in a while and when I say once in a while I mean probably could go for months.
I on the other hand want it all the time...I would say I want it everyday or close to it. Here is when I think I am like a man. I feel like I am the one always initiatating sex. Since we have moved in together since October S and I have sex but not as much. I feel like a guy who was duped. Don't get me wrong he doesn't turn me down and I know we have been together for five years but come on....why can't you act like I am a sex goddess and you want to fuck me like you did the first couple of years.
I feel like sex is a barometer but also (which this is the fucked up part) I validate myself and this relationship by how much he wants to have sex, make love, or fuck me. (See I apparently have a invisible dick).
SO tonight I come home after having a nice dinner with my dinner and S and I watch some TV and he gets up and says I am going to bed. I finish my cigarette and go to walk into the bedroom and he is all in bed not in bed like I want to fuck you but I am in bed and want to sleep. I walk in and say:
"Hey don't go to bed"
He replies: What's wrong..
Me: Is everything ok, do we not fuck as much because we live together?
S.: Of course not we have sex like 4-5 times a week
Me: Uhhh we only had sex like twice this week?
S.: No Honey I still think you are sexy?
Me: I know I just feel like I am always inititating, I want you to want me too.
S. I do want you, what is the problem...
Me: I'm sorry I just feel like sex is a barometer
S.: It is and I think we are great
Me: OH ok hun
Me thinking: FUCK me right now, I am naked next to you telling you I want to have more sex
Him and what he does: rolls over and goes to bed after giving me a kiss
Back to now: OK I understand sex shouldn't be everything but COME ON! Don't most men complain about their wives not wanting to have sex! I know he watched porn and I know, I know..... we do have sex more than most people I guess.
Maybe I am just insecure....maybe scared. Is it too much to ask for him to want to fuck me like he did when we first met? Probably....so what do I do?
Go outside in the living room while he is sleeping and look up some Scottish porn and masturbate. Yes you heard right masturbate when I have an able body man in the next room.
I pause to sip my glass and think how crazy is this! We aren't even married and have kids? Isn't that when it is supposed to ch age, fall beside the waist line...since your kids are number one and sleep sounds more sexual than sex? Jeeeeez I love S so much and when we do have sex it is fabulous. Truth be told he is the best lay I have ever had, but sometimes I want him to want me more. God I do sound like a needy girl so I guess that changes my perception on feeling like a man.
Plus I am leaving in three days for like four weeks for training. Gotta love that then when I get back three weeks later is our wedding. I have no fear in marrying him I just wish I didn't want sex so much. Wish I was like my girlfriends and just didn't care. Wish I could go without...wish I didn't have to use porn when a hot sexy man is in the other room. DAMN I am going to go back to my wine, have a cigarette and then crawl into bed with a hot sexy man who didn't want to fuck me tonight.
The question is....am I just being insecure or crazy?
Don't take that the wrong way I don't want to be a man, but I think my view of sex is sometimes distorted or at least I feel that way due to the numerous women I know in my life and how they view it.
I have tons of friend who are married, living with their man, or been in long term relationships and all of them are ok with sex every once in a while and when I say once in a while I mean probably could go for months.
I on the other hand want it all the time...I would say I want it everyday or close to it. Here is when I think I am like a man. I feel like I am the one always initiatating sex. Since we have moved in together since October S and I have sex but not as much. I feel like a guy who was duped. Don't get me wrong he doesn't turn me down and I know we have been together for five years but come on....why can't you act like I am a sex goddess and you want to fuck me like you did the first couple of years.
I feel like sex is a barometer but also (which this is the fucked up part) I validate myself and this relationship by how much he wants to have sex, make love, or fuck me. (See I apparently have a invisible dick).
SO tonight I come home after having a nice dinner with my dinner and S and I watch some TV and he gets up and says I am going to bed. I finish my cigarette and go to walk into the bedroom and he is all in bed not in bed like I want to fuck you but I am in bed and want to sleep. I walk in and say:
"Hey don't go to bed"
He replies: What's wrong..
Me: Is everything ok, do we not fuck as much because we live together?
S.: Of course not we have sex like 4-5 times a week
Me: Uhhh we only had sex like twice this week?
S.: No Honey I still think you are sexy?
Me: I know I just feel like I am always inititating, I want you to want me too.
S. I do want you, what is the problem...
Me: I'm sorry I just feel like sex is a barometer
S.: It is and I think we are great
Me: OH ok hun
Me thinking: FUCK me right now, I am naked next to you telling you I want to have more sex
Him and what he does: rolls over and goes to bed after giving me a kiss
Back to now: OK I understand sex shouldn't be everything but COME ON! Don't most men complain about their wives not wanting to have sex! I know he watched porn and I know, I know..... we do have sex more than most people I guess.
Maybe I am just insecure....maybe scared. Is it too much to ask for him to want to fuck me like he did when we first met? Probably....so what do I do?
Go outside in the living room while he is sleeping and look up some Scottish porn and masturbate. Yes you heard right masturbate when I have an able body man in the next room.
I pause to sip my glass and think how crazy is this! We aren't even married and have kids? Isn't that when it is supposed to ch age, fall beside the waist line...since your kids are number one and sleep sounds more sexual than sex? Jeeeeez I love S so much and when we do have sex it is fabulous. Truth be told he is the best lay I have ever had, but sometimes I want him to want me more. God I do sound like a needy girl so I guess that changes my perception on feeling like a man.
Plus I am leaving in three days for like four weeks for training. Gotta love that then when I get back three weeks later is our wedding. I have no fear in marrying him I just wish I didn't want sex so much. Wish I was like my girlfriends and just didn't care. Wish I could go without...wish I didn't have to use porn when a hot sexy man is in the other room. DAMN I am going to go back to my wine, have a cigarette and then crawl into bed with a hot sexy man who didn't want to fuck me tonight.
The question is....am I just being insecure or crazy?
Friday, April 11, 2008
Dispicable
OK, I deserve a lashing or rather a flogging...like one of those crazy monks who whipped themselves senseless while the black plague was taking over Europe. I have been so horrible at keeping up my blog. I swear it is not you...it's me and that is not a breakup line either. Between the new job, my girlfriends wedding, and my wedding life is so fucking crazy. So onto something interesting in my life.
Can I tell you how much I love my job...seriously I know this sounds crazy but the hype is true about Pharmaceuitcal reps. Most of them are gorgeous especially the women. I have met some of my territories counter parts and can I just tell you DAMN! This should make me feel insecure but rather it makes me feel pretty. I was picked to be in this elite club of people with no souls who hock drugs, make money and never pay for a car or gas. I know I know this sounds so horrible but after years of college, and grad school being poor it is wonderful to know I am going to be ok. (AKA I secretly feel like a souless beast in comparison to my friends who work for non-profits and help the world but I can't help wanting to work hard and see results).
Ok now that I completely sounded like an asshole in the first paragraph let me explain why I do what I do. See I have this inner relization that I am not a very classy or tactful person. I swear to much, drink to much, etc. So I overcompensate for this by doing things like going to grad school, getting jobs with prestige and or money to make it look like I am a respectable person in society...whne deep down in side I love to watch shows like Maury. "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER" and drink wine out of a box. Hmmm years of being poor have ingrained this into me.
It's funny and weird though because even though I want money, confortable life, etc I still never spend alot of money on myself. I am not a handbag girl..and believe it or not I own one. Yup you heard it right ONE BAG. Actually the bag I have no is a hand me down Coach bag from like 3 seasons ago (I would never know that, but whatever) and this occured because my one back strap completely fell apart. I have never had a nice, new car until now because again I cannot see spending that much money on something that will depreciate.
I would rather spend money on going out, a condo, memories...or lots of wine rather than material things. I am the queen of Marshalls and have never purchased GUCCI, Dolce and Gabbana, or any other designer who I think a 80 tank top is too much. Yet, most of my friends do. They all have tons of clothes, nice cars, bags, shoes, etc. While I am finding a two for one deal at the sale rack.
The other day S. made the most poingant observation. I had just come in from cleaning the inside of my car and I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone and she mentioned how she had washed the car but only the outside. We were laughing and saying we need to switch off so our cars would be fully cleaned. As I hung up S. stated "No suprirse there"
I repleid "What?"
S. returned with " You washed the inside and all of your friends wash their outside. See it just shows you that you care about what is inside and comfortable for you, while your girlfriends all care about the outside and what other people think"
I was stunned and realized it was true that most of my friends are slumming it with me since I never cared about stuff like that. Yet it makes me wonder why I gravitate to people who do. Is it because I want to be like that or try to change them....Well whatever it is it seems to be working.
Well off to scratch my ass, drink boxed wine, and watch Maury.
Can I tell you how much I love my job...seriously I know this sounds crazy but the hype is true about Pharmaceuitcal reps. Most of them are gorgeous especially the women. I have met some of my territories counter parts and can I just tell you DAMN! This should make me feel insecure but rather it makes me feel pretty. I was picked to be in this elite club of people with no souls who hock drugs, make money and never pay for a car or gas. I know I know this sounds so horrible but after years of college, and grad school being poor it is wonderful to know I am going to be ok. (AKA I secretly feel like a souless beast in comparison to my friends who work for non-profits and help the world but I can't help wanting to work hard and see results).
Ok now that I completely sounded like an asshole in the first paragraph let me explain why I do what I do. See I have this inner relization that I am not a very classy or tactful person. I swear to much, drink to much, etc. So I overcompensate for this by doing things like going to grad school, getting jobs with prestige and or money to make it look like I am a respectable person in society...whne deep down in side I love to watch shows like Maury. "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER" and drink wine out of a box. Hmmm years of being poor have ingrained this into me.
It's funny and weird though because even though I want money, confortable life, etc I still never spend alot of money on myself. I am not a handbag girl..and believe it or not I own one. Yup you heard it right ONE BAG. Actually the bag I have no is a hand me down Coach bag from like 3 seasons ago (I would never know that, but whatever) and this occured because my one back strap completely fell apart. I have never had a nice, new car until now because again I cannot see spending that much money on something that will depreciate.
I would rather spend money on going out, a condo, memories...or lots of wine rather than material things. I am the queen of Marshalls and have never purchased GUCCI, Dolce and Gabbana, or any other designer who I think a 80 tank top is too much. Yet, most of my friends do. They all have tons of clothes, nice cars, bags, shoes, etc. While I am finding a two for one deal at the sale rack.
The other day S. made the most poingant observation. I had just come in from cleaning the inside of my car and I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone and she mentioned how she had washed the car but only the outside. We were laughing and saying we need to switch off so our cars would be fully cleaned. As I hung up S. stated "No suprirse there"
I repleid "What?"
S. returned with " You washed the inside and all of your friends wash their outside. See it just shows you that you care about what is inside and comfortable for you, while your girlfriends all care about the outside and what other people think"
I was stunned and realized it was true that most of my friends are slumming it with me since I never cared about stuff like that. Yet it makes me wonder why I gravitate to people who do. Is it because I want to be like that or try to change them....Well whatever it is it seems to be working.
Well off to scratch my ass, drink boxed wine, and watch Maury.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Holy shit sooo long..
Holy shit it has been way to long since I have posted and for anyone who still might be reading this I apoligize. Well lets do some updates shall we.
I started my new job and thus far it is fabulous. I have a new car, computer, the works. Only thing that sucks is the home study. I feel like I am back in grad school studying the shit out of drugs and human anatomy. Luckily my genetics background seems to help. My coworkers that I have met so far seem really cool and like me. Talkative open people who are driven. My boss is great not a micromanager bitch like my college department head where I am teaching. That is a whole other story.
The last day at my other job was great. More than 50 people showed up for my happy hour, which made me feel cool and I got extremely drunk without spending a cent. We then went to the strip club and I got a great lapdance. I literally closed my eyes and just felt the hot stripper on me. Not to sound to weird but I can understand why men love it. Women are so soft to the touch and feel amazing.....I think the booze got to me, hehehe
The wedding season and crazy shit started last weekend. Basically every weekend I have either weddings, showers, bachelorette parties or shit going on. I have become a little obsessive about looking at my registry (yes I am one of those women I hate, but be rest assured I don't bore others with wedding talk)
I had the best sex last night can I just tell you! Talk about hot all around the room, upside down, every which way hot sex. I really needed it with all the stress so even though S will never read this thank you for being such a hot lay after 5 years.
Well back to studying and being lame but rest assure I am going to start posting more regulary now that I have my own computer through work (cannot have S. find me out).
I started my new job and thus far it is fabulous. I have a new car, computer, the works. Only thing that sucks is the home study. I feel like I am back in grad school studying the shit out of drugs and human anatomy. Luckily my genetics background seems to help. My coworkers that I have met so far seem really cool and like me. Talkative open people who are driven. My boss is great not a micromanager bitch like my college department head where I am teaching. That is a whole other story.
The last day at my other job was great. More than 50 people showed up for my happy hour, which made me feel cool and I got extremely drunk without spending a cent. We then went to the strip club and I got a great lapdance. I literally closed my eyes and just felt the hot stripper on me. Not to sound to weird but I can understand why men love it. Women are so soft to the touch and feel amazing.....I think the booze got to me, hehehe
The wedding season and crazy shit started last weekend. Basically every weekend I have either weddings, showers, bachelorette parties or shit going on. I have become a little obsessive about looking at my registry (yes I am one of those women I hate, but be rest assured I don't bore others with wedding talk)
I had the best sex last night can I just tell you! Talk about hot all around the room, upside down, every which way hot sex. I really needed it with all the stress so even though S will never read this thank you for being such a hot lay after 5 years.
Well back to studying and being lame but rest assure I am going to start posting more regulary now that I have my own computer through work (cannot have S. find me out).
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Karma, rain and the bus
So this past week my fiancé and family have been carting me around like I was a child since my beater of a car crapped out on me. You seriously do not realize how much you need and utilize your car until you need tampons and it is raining like a monsoon outside.
This Saturday I was determined to make it to the Stop and Stop a couple of miles up the street to get feminine products and stuff for lunch during the week (do not have a car to go get anything), but of course when I look outside it is raining buckets. OH well that is not going to stop my mission. My mission to show everyone that I am no yuppie suburbanite who cannot take a bus or walk some where! So I log onto the local bus transit to see which line I should take and can I tell you something crazy? Bus schedules are the most confusing fucking shit ever! Yes, I have a college and graduate degree, yes I work as a biomedical engineer and yet I can’t figure out a simple diagram of different buses. Oh and of course after I figure it out I realize it is the line for during the week and I had to start all over.
Ok I know where the bus comes, what time it comes and when I need to get it back, so I grab my umbrella and go outside to wait. Can you believe in my head I kept thinking “Don’t look like a homeless person?” Uhhh I almost hit myself! In my head I am thinking, when did I become this snot….I don’t even own a car! Well Karma knew I was thinking horrible thoughts and brought a huge SUV by my bus stop and drove through a huge puddle which covered me! Honestly I deserved it for acting so self righteous that minute.
So 5 minutes go by and I am soaked, I mean up to my knees soaked and it was not a nice warm summery trickle but a freezing bone chilling “Little women” Beth dying of pneumonia rain. I am chattering my teeth when low and behold I see the bus coming from the opposite direction and not stopping! I run, chase and scream after this bus, while I look like a soaked 5’10’ inch rat and my umbrella broke. I was left there on the corner with no umbrella, and no bus. FUCK!
I was defeated and I knew it. I am a slave to technology and luxury and when I say luxury I mean a 1995 Mazda protégé which has tons of dents but always brought me where I needed to go. So I walked across the street to get some wine and booze and as I was walking back I realized why having a brown bag over your booze was a good thing in the rain.
This Saturday I was determined to make it to the Stop and Stop a couple of miles up the street to get feminine products and stuff for lunch during the week (do not have a car to go get anything), but of course when I look outside it is raining buckets. OH well that is not going to stop my mission. My mission to show everyone that I am no yuppie suburbanite who cannot take a bus or walk some where! So I log onto the local bus transit to see which line I should take and can I tell you something crazy? Bus schedules are the most confusing fucking shit ever! Yes, I have a college and graduate degree, yes I work as a biomedical engineer and yet I can’t figure out a simple diagram of different buses. Oh and of course after I figure it out I realize it is the line for during the week and I had to start all over.
Ok I know where the bus comes, what time it comes and when I need to get it back, so I grab my umbrella and go outside to wait. Can you believe in my head I kept thinking “Don’t look like a homeless person?” Uhhh I almost hit myself! In my head I am thinking, when did I become this snot….I don’t even own a car! Well Karma knew I was thinking horrible thoughts and brought a huge SUV by my bus stop and drove through a huge puddle which covered me! Honestly I deserved it for acting so self righteous that minute.
So 5 minutes go by and I am soaked, I mean up to my knees soaked and it was not a nice warm summery trickle but a freezing bone chilling “Little women” Beth dying of pneumonia rain. I am chattering my teeth when low and behold I see the bus coming from the opposite direction and not stopping! I run, chase and scream after this bus, while I look like a soaked 5’10’ inch rat and my umbrella broke. I was left there on the corner with no umbrella, and no bus. FUCK!
I was defeated and I knew it. I am a slave to technology and luxury and when I say luxury I mean a 1995 Mazda protégé which has tons of dents but always brought me where I needed to go. So I walked across the street to get some wine and booze and as I was walking back I realized why having a brown bag over your booze was a good thing in the rain.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Need some control
I don't know what it was but today at the Business Unit Meeting this morning I almost jumped across a bunch of engineers to punch a "planning" asshole boss in his face.
Nahh not really but I got so fucking heated that I left the meeting. Sometimes just sometimes I want to rip apart certain people who work in my company.
Long story short Planning was upset that a product was not on time. Now if we were making pens, or a toy truck I can understand the demand to rush things through....but we make SUTURES and biomedical equipment.
So I ask?
Do you want me to rush the batch of absorbable sutures that will be inserted into your overweight wife when she gets her stomach tied up?
Good sir, would you like to forgoe the quality of a staple that will go into your bratty only child's heart?
Hmmmmm would you like me to just pass a crappy bowel ring so your bile from your stomach falls into your intestines? Actually this douchebag would deserve it.
He wasn't even directing it toward me, but the snarky attitude he had made me want to scream "GO FUCK YOURSELF you retard!" but instead like a good little corporate droid who does not want to burn bridges (only 3 more days to go) I left the meeting pretending having to go to the bathroom. Plus I think I saved myself from being arrested.
Nahh not really but I got so fucking heated that I left the meeting. Sometimes just sometimes I want to rip apart certain people who work in my company.
Long story short Planning was upset that a product was not on time. Now if we were making pens, or a toy truck I can understand the demand to rush things through....but we make SUTURES and biomedical equipment.
So I ask?
Do you want me to rush the batch of absorbable sutures that will be inserted into your overweight wife when she gets her stomach tied up?
Good sir, would you like to forgoe the quality of a staple that will go into your bratty only child's heart?
Hmmmmm would you like me to just pass a crappy bowel ring so your bile from your stomach falls into your intestines? Actually this douchebag would deserve it.
He wasn't even directing it toward me, but the snarky attitude he had made me want to scream "GO FUCK YOURSELF you retard!" but instead like a good little corporate droid who does not want to burn bridges (only 3 more days to go) I left the meeting pretending having to go to the bathroom. Plus I think I saved myself from being arrested.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Keep telling myself over and over...
ONE MORE WEEK...don't kill anyone or go postal. You can do it! One more week.
On a different note I had a great relaxing weekend pretty much movies, wine and sex. It was nice but I felt like I was 15 again asking for a ride from my friend. So tonight I have to teach my class and hopefully not kill any of my students either. Why oh why do I have to do all this shit for a wedding. Eloping is sounding better and better everyday.
On a different note I had a great relaxing weekend pretty much movies, wine and sex. It was nice but I felt like I was 15 again asking for a ride from my friend. So tonight I have to teach my class and hopefully not kill any of my students either. Why oh why do I have to do all this shit for a wedding. Eloping is sounding better and better everyday.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My major flaw
It is time to share my flaws with my fellow bloggers. I do have them even though my life is so perfect (HAHA, hope you got the sarcasm in that) but I am plagued with pitfalls like everyone else. I believe my biggest flaw is also my biggest savior. Let me explain…
My biggest flaw has two parts
A. I talk a lot
B. I am open about everything
When I say I talk a lot, I do…I can’t help myself, I feel all of these thoughts racing through my head a million miles a minute and I can’t help letting them all spill out like word vomit. I can’t write as well or as fast as I can speak. This does not always make for a bad situation because even though I talk a lot I talk with humor and hopefully (not all the time) intelligence. With me around there is no awkward moment on a date, at a party, etc. I just keep the conversation going with open ended questions. I am sure for my fiancé, family and friends who have been around me for years and have to interact with me more than a couple hours this can be annoying.
I have had to learn that in the morning S. just can’t function with thoughts for about an hour. He can grunt, scratch, and eat but thought process and speaking skills seem to be devoid. At first when you are all infatuated and in love I would worry “Oh my god is it me?” “Is he getting tired of me already?” Of course over the years this has dissipated and I have to control myself to not jam pack my poor fiancé’s head with jibber jabber (did I just say that, hehe) until a little later.
As for the second part of the flaw I have definitely been open to people maybe I shouldn’t have. I figure that by being open with everything I never get in trouble, give the wrong impression and people know who and what I stand for, but you and I both know some people have really rigid, conservative ways and unfortunately I am the person who will make them feel the most uncomfortable. I just can’t comprehend not speaking your mind, or being closed off. I feel less anxiety, stress, problems, etc not only with my fiancé, family, but life. I have a crazy open communication with the people I love because I force them to be that way since I am. I do wish sometimes I wasn’t so open because I have definitely felt like an ass. Example of the following “foot way down in the back of throat” syndrome
Background of scene: Went over to a friend’ house (In college) and waiting in dining area with mother. I have not seen my friend or his family in a while.
After a typical how are you doing conversation she asks where I am working?
Me: “Oh, I work at the Mall in the salad, smoothie bar which is a great thing because it reminds me why I am in school.”
Mother: “Do a lot of people from our town work there?”
Me: “Oh yeah I work with a bunch of loser skanky girls from our town, who got knocked up an ruined their life before the age of 20, again another constant reminder of why I have to do something with my life and not disappoint my parents.”
Right at that moment my friend’s sister who is 19 comes around the corner knocked up and looking pretty skanky.
I must have looked so dumbfounded and embarrassed because all I can do was stutter over myself.
Me: “Oh well, you must be, uhhh different than those girls…you aren’t skanky in the least bit, uhhh got to go, great seeing you.”
My friend could not stop making fun of me the whole night and I have never gone over that house again.
My biggest flaw has two parts
A. I talk a lot
B. I am open about everything
When I say I talk a lot, I do…I can’t help myself, I feel all of these thoughts racing through my head a million miles a minute and I can’t help letting them all spill out like word vomit. I can’t write as well or as fast as I can speak. This does not always make for a bad situation because even though I talk a lot I talk with humor and hopefully (not all the time) intelligence. With me around there is no awkward moment on a date, at a party, etc. I just keep the conversation going with open ended questions. I am sure for my fiancé, family and friends who have been around me for years and have to interact with me more than a couple hours this can be annoying.
I have had to learn that in the morning S. just can’t function with thoughts for about an hour. He can grunt, scratch, and eat but thought process and speaking skills seem to be devoid. At first when you are all infatuated and in love I would worry “Oh my god is it me?” “Is he getting tired of me already?” Of course over the years this has dissipated and I have to control myself to not jam pack my poor fiancé’s head with jibber jabber (did I just say that, hehe) until a little later.
As for the second part of the flaw I have definitely been open to people maybe I shouldn’t have. I figure that by being open with everything I never get in trouble, give the wrong impression and people know who and what I stand for, but you and I both know some people have really rigid, conservative ways and unfortunately I am the person who will make them feel the most uncomfortable. I just can’t comprehend not speaking your mind, or being closed off. I feel less anxiety, stress, problems, etc not only with my fiancé, family, but life. I have a crazy open communication with the people I love because I force them to be that way since I am. I do wish sometimes I wasn’t so open because I have definitely felt like an ass. Example of the following “foot way down in the back of throat” syndrome
Background of scene: Went over to a friend’ house (In college) and waiting in dining area with mother. I have not seen my friend or his family in a while.
After a typical how are you doing conversation she asks where I am working?
Me: “Oh, I work at the Mall in the salad, smoothie bar which is a great thing because it reminds me why I am in school.”
Mother: “Do a lot of people from our town work there?”
Me: “Oh yeah I work with a bunch of loser skanky girls from our town, who got knocked up an ruined their life before the age of 20, again another constant reminder of why I have to do something with my life and not disappoint my parents.”
Right at that moment my friend’s sister who is 19 comes around the corner knocked up and looking pretty skanky.
I must have looked so dumbfounded and embarrassed because all I can do was stutter over myself.
Me: “Oh well, you must be, uhhh different than those girls…you aren’t skanky in the least bit, uhhh got to go, great seeing you.”
My friend could not stop making fun of me the whole night and I have never gone over that house again.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Just remember before the good must come....
Sometimes I feel like God, Buddha, Siddartha, Allah or whoever is up there likes to fuck around with me a bit…nothing horrible but always reminds me to keep a level head.
I have this amazing crazy time right now between the new job, teaching, and wedding shit that I feel pulled in two but this weekend was very ironic to say the least. I got my wedding dress and it is gorgeous and makes me feel amazing but two weeks before my new job my shit box car decides to shit the bed. What the fuck! Seriously two weeks before I get a new car!
So here I am reverting back to 15 and calling people and coordinating rides. It’s so weird not having a car because until you don’t have one you never really appreciate how much you use one. I actually forgot for a second that I didn’t have one and said to S. “I am going to get alcohol tonight”…. walked out into the parking lot and then looked around like a confused senile old lady until I realized I was car less. Luckily the liquor store is less than a block away! I felt like a homeless alcoholic walking home in the dark with a brown paper bag. (Side note: why the hell did my fiancé not offer to come and carry his own damn microbrew?)
On a different note need to remind myself over and over again that 3 martinis, 4 glasses of wine and two shots may seem fun in the beginning but your need to vomit will over take that fun. Lying on the floor of your bathroom is not acceptable at 26.Please say this over and over to yourself….
I have this amazing crazy time right now between the new job, teaching, and wedding shit that I feel pulled in two but this weekend was very ironic to say the least. I got my wedding dress and it is gorgeous and makes me feel amazing but two weeks before my new job my shit box car decides to shit the bed. What the fuck! Seriously two weeks before I get a new car!
So here I am reverting back to 15 and calling people and coordinating rides. It’s so weird not having a car because until you don’t have one you never really appreciate how much you use one. I actually forgot for a second that I didn’t have one and said to S. “I am going to get alcohol tonight”…. walked out into the parking lot and then looked around like a confused senile old lady until I realized I was car less. Luckily the liquor store is less than a block away! I felt like a homeless alcoholic walking home in the dark with a brown paper bag. (Side note: why the hell did my fiancé not offer to come and carry his own damn microbrew?)
On a different note need to remind myself over and over again that 3 martinis, 4 glasses of wine and two shots may seem fun in the beginning but your need to vomit will over take that fun. Lying on the floor of your bathroom is not acceptable at 26.Please say this over and over to yourself….
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I gave my notice!
I did it! I let them know that I was leaving…it went well but my poor direct boss looked devastated and rightfully so. Not because the company will not survive without me but rather a shit load of work is going to be coming her way. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am sure they will give me a lot more weight with work and it is going to be a long two weeks but hopefully it will go by fast. Update will follow soon.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My Disorder
I want to tell everyone of my disorder. I have been ingrained and raised with this horrible thing called….
Catholic Guilt
Let me give you a little bit of background as to how this disorder was acquired. I was born to two catholic loving parents who dragged all four of us to church every weekend. I was also placed in catholic private middle school and high school (all girls if you can believe). Over the years my parents were not brim stone and fire but masters of guilt. Guilt of letting people down, always doing everything I can and going above and beyond. This is a good quality in that I always over achieved in life, love and friends but this disorder has made me ridiculously guilty of things most people would not be. Do not get the wrong impression I am no saint and I do not pray with a group or wear a habit, Hell I don’t even go to church right now but this guilt is always there no matter what.
Catholic guilt is different than regular guilt because it is not just an action and reaction guilt it is a constant underlying feeling. I can even say it is not a guilt that I will burn in hell but just a guilt that I am not doing enough or I am hurting someone.
Most of my friends and family love this because it makes me go above and beyond. Example of things I did in the last two weeks that exude this disorder…
1. Valentines day: I have been working two jobs, interviewing for a new one, planning a wedding, and trying to keep up with normal errands of life but seeing my fiancé doing laundry (which is normally my job when my life is not so hectic) made me feel so bad that I got him a iPOD.
2. I am so afraid to tell my bosses that I am quitting. I feel horrible leaving them in a lurch even though I know business is business.
3. My friend lost a job but was the one who basically helped me get my new one so I have redone his resume, wrote him a fucking great cover letter and have helped him by faxing it out searching for jobs, etc. (P.S. he is doing a lot as well with interviews, etc)
4. I call my mom like 5 times a week and still try to impress her and help her every chance I get.
5. My girlfriend who has the eating disorder I always feel like I am not doing enough so this week or next I have to try to convince her parents to go to a support group with me just so that they can wake the fuck up and help her instead of living in denial.
6. Whenever I call out I feel awful.
If you look at these things in reality they just make me look like a caring person who goes out of my way to help, which is partly true but to me it is all due to this damn guilt. Most people can balance it but for some reason I can’t and do I want to? My guilt has always made me go above and beyond with my life, especially professional. The need to show my parents and impress them (don’t ask me where it came from they tell me over and over how great I am) had elevated me to higher education and a great job.
Better yet I have to learn from my parents how to instill this into my children do I don’t end up with a crazy crackwhore or loser son.
Catholic Guilt
Let me give you a little bit of background as to how this disorder was acquired. I was born to two catholic loving parents who dragged all four of us to church every weekend. I was also placed in catholic private middle school and high school (all girls if you can believe). Over the years my parents were not brim stone and fire but masters of guilt. Guilt of letting people down, always doing everything I can and going above and beyond. This is a good quality in that I always over achieved in life, love and friends but this disorder has made me ridiculously guilty of things most people would not be. Do not get the wrong impression I am no saint and I do not pray with a group or wear a habit, Hell I don’t even go to church right now but this guilt is always there no matter what.
Catholic guilt is different than regular guilt because it is not just an action and reaction guilt it is a constant underlying feeling. I can even say it is not a guilt that I will burn in hell but just a guilt that I am not doing enough or I am hurting someone.
Most of my friends and family love this because it makes me go above and beyond. Example of things I did in the last two weeks that exude this disorder…
1. Valentines day: I have been working two jobs, interviewing for a new one, planning a wedding, and trying to keep up with normal errands of life but seeing my fiancé doing laundry (which is normally my job when my life is not so hectic) made me feel so bad that I got him a iPOD.
2. I am so afraid to tell my bosses that I am quitting. I feel horrible leaving them in a lurch even though I know business is business.
3. My friend lost a job but was the one who basically helped me get my new one so I have redone his resume, wrote him a fucking great cover letter and have helped him by faxing it out searching for jobs, etc. (P.S. he is doing a lot as well with interviews, etc)
4. I call my mom like 5 times a week and still try to impress her and help her every chance I get.
5. My girlfriend who has the eating disorder I always feel like I am not doing enough so this week or next I have to try to convince her parents to go to a support group with me just so that they can wake the fuck up and help her instead of living in denial.
6. Whenever I call out I feel awful.
If you look at these things in reality they just make me look like a caring person who goes out of my way to help, which is partly true but to me it is all due to this damn guilt. Most people can balance it but for some reason I can’t and do I want to? My guilt has always made me go above and beyond with my life, especially professional. The need to show my parents and impress them (don’t ask me where it came from they tell me over and over how great I am) had elevated me to higher education and a great job.
Better yet I have to learn from my parents how to instill this into my children do I don’t end up with a crazy crackwhore or loser son.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Things that make me smile.
When life is so crazy (good but crazy) you have to look at the little things to cheer you up. Mine are as follows.
1. Winning free tickets to a male review this weekend. Nothing better than naked men in your face.
2. Getting your new job package via UPS at exactly the moment I get in from work.
3. Having a clean desk (just spent about 2 hours cleaning it)
4. Having amazing animal sex last night
5. 8 hours of sleep last night
6. Fiance doing two loads of laundry last night while I worked on invites
7. Thinking about honeymoon to Los Cabos
These things make me smile and remind me how great life is!
1. Winning free tickets to a male review this weekend. Nothing better than naked men in your face.
2. Getting your new job package via UPS at exactly the moment I get in from work.
3. Having a clean desk (just spent about 2 hours cleaning it)
4. Having amazing animal sex last night
5. 8 hours of sleep last night
6. Fiance doing two loads of laundry last night while I worked on invites
7. Thinking about honeymoon to Los Cabos
These things make me smile and remind me how great life is!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Mini Breakdown
Have you ever felt so pulled at every direction in your life at once that you thought you were going to explode? That is how I feel right now. Let me list off what I am doing right now.
1. Full time Engineer job- this place is crazy and getting worse everyday! I am so glad I am getting out of here
2. Teaching job- How am I back to studying? This is a lot more than I had anticipated and basically adding a second job makes me have almost 70 hr work weeks.
3. Planning a wedding – which actually is more stressful paying for it.
4. Trying to get a new job- had to study a lot for this too, who new getting a new job would be so fucking stressful. This is a little better since I got the offer now I have to take the drug test and wait for the background check.
5. Dealing with a best friend who after 10 years is getting help with her bulimia. This is emotionally draining since her family is not being as supportive as they should be.
6. Being the made of honor for my best girlfriends wedding…just stuffed over a hundred shower invites.
7. Grandmother dying…enough said.
8. Add on trying to pay bills, keep condo clean and get some sleep.
Sometimes I am fine but last night my girlfriend who is going through this tough time needed me but then got defensive (as any recovering addicted person deals with) and I just broke down after I left. Not so much just because of her but because of everything. I am so thankful for my whole life and would never change anything sometimes I just wish there was more time….especially for sleep. I can feel the exercise and sleep deprivation making it harder and harder to remember shit.
Then I think how the fuck do people do all of this and then have kids? WTF? How do they do it? I give so much props to my mother who did all of it with her own graphic design company, but tack on 4 kids too. I need to go bring her a huge bottle or red tonight and thank her profusely.
1. Full time Engineer job- this place is crazy and getting worse everyday! I am so glad I am getting out of here
2. Teaching job- How am I back to studying? This is a lot more than I had anticipated and basically adding a second job makes me have almost 70 hr work weeks.
3. Planning a wedding – which actually is more stressful paying for it.
4. Trying to get a new job- had to study a lot for this too, who new getting a new job would be so fucking stressful. This is a little better since I got the offer now I have to take the drug test and wait for the background check.
5. Dealing with a best friend who after 10 years is getting help with her bulimia. This is emotionally draining since her family is not being as supportive as they should be.
6. Being the made of honor for my best girlfriends wedding…just stuffed over a hundred shower invites.
7. Grandmother dying…enough said.
8. Add on trying to pay bills, keep condo clean and get some sleep.
Sometimes I am fine but last night my girlfriend who is going through this tough time needed me but then got defensive (as any recovering addicted person deals with) and I just broke down after I left. Not so much just because of her but because of everything. I am so thankful for my whole life and would never change anything sometimes I just wish there was more time….especially for sleep. I can feel the exercise and sleep deprivation making it harder and harder to remember shit.
Then I think how the fuck do people do all of this and then have kids? WTF? How do they do it? I give so much props to my mother who did all of it with her own graphic design company, but tack on 4 kids too. I need to go bring her a huge bottle or red tonight and thank her profusely.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I GOT THE JOB!
I just got an offer and although I am pretending to think about it, I know I am taking it! I am so fucking excited. I get a 2008 chevy impala, corporate credit card, gas card, new computer, fax, crackberry, and lots of other bonuses. I am so fucking excited. Of course at work I have to pretend everything is fine and normal but I am sure tomorrow will be great when I drop the bomb that I am quitting. I will update more later today but it is almost lunch and I am starving.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I WANT THIS JOB!
I totally fucking rocked my interview on Monday….which saved me from going down on two guys, hehehe. JK. No I was sooooo nervous the night before that I kept having nightmares all night and waking up. The following were nightmares of the night.
1. I overslept for the interview
2. I lost my voice in the interview after a very important question
3. Peed my pants in the interview
Needless to say I did not get much sleep but my adrenaline was running so high. The interview was only supposed to last about an hour and I had them in there for two, laughing no less. I felt so confident but reminded myself that I have felt that before only to be shot down. Well later that day they gave me a call and asked me for a second interview. Only thing that sucks is that it is tomorrow so I am going to have to call out of work. Hmmm need to think of a good excuse…. Diaherria is always a good one. Can’t prove or disprove what was coming out of my ass by any symptoms right?
So after giving my first test to my students….it is such a trip all of them calling me Ms. Quarterlifecrisisgirl, I am going to study like hell and pray for the best. I want this fucking job so bad! I was pumped up by one of the guys when he was describing the perks…let’s see.
New Company car (one of the following, I want the 300!)
Gas credit card (never have to pay for gas again) WHOOOO HOO!
AMEX corporate card to entertain physicians, etc (limit is $3000 dollars a month!)
Great base pay (same as now) but every quarter I can bonus up to $20,000! Can you fucking believe this?
Every single guy I have met in this company has a wife that stays at home with their kids and houses in high end towns in my state. I am so going to have S. stay home, cook, clean and be a stay at home dad! HAAHA! Everyone say a prayer I don’t bomb this interview tomorrow and I don’t piss my pants.
1. I overslept for the interview
2. I lost my voice in the interview after a very important question
3. Peed my pants in the interview
Needless to say I did not get much sleep but my adrenaline was running so high. The interview was only supposed to last about an hour and I had them in there for two, laughing no less. I felt so confident but reminded myself that I have felt that before only to be shot down. Well later that day they gave me a call and asked me for a second interview. Only thing that sucks is that it is tomorrow so I am going to have to call out of work. Hmmm need to think of a good excuse…. Diaherria is always a good one. Can’t prove or disprove what was coming out of my ass by any symptoms right?
So after giving my first test to my students….it is such a trip all of them calling me Ms. Quarterlifecrisisgirl, I am going to study like hell and pray for the best. I want this fucking job so bad! I was pumped up by one of the guys when he was describing the perks…let’s see.
New Company car (one of the following, I want the 300!)
Gas credit card (never have to pay for gas again) WHOOOO HOO!
AMEX corporate card to entertain physicians, etc (limit is $3000 dollars a month!)
Great base pay (same as now) but every quarter I can bonus up to $20,000! Can you fucking believe this?
Every single guy I have met in this company has a wife that stays at home with their kids and houses in high end towns in my state. I am so going to have S. stay home, cook, clean and be a stay at home dad! HAAHA! Everyone say a prayer I don’t bomb this interview tomorrow and I don’t piss my pants.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Life. What life?
Whew life has been going in full speed for me lately…and believe me the bags under my eyes show it all. Over the last two weeks I have not had more than two minutes of free time and that is taken up by showers and going to the bathroom.
Let’s see a over view of why my life is so ridiculous from a typical week of mine.
Monday: Wake up at 5:45am to go to the gym (which the doctor allows me to only swim or cycle) and then off to work for 8am. I have been working a lot harder these days, not by choice but ever since two colleagues of mine quit (smart assholes) I am next in line for big projects. I have had to actually work as opposed to writing in my blog and searching the internet. From work I drive to my class for 5:20pm. Then I teach and give a lab. I don’t get out of the lab room until 9:50pm and the commute is 45 mins home so I prance in the door about 10:45 pm. This is when I make dinner and try to catch up with my fiancé. Proceed to sex and then sleep at midnight.
Tuesday: Wake up at 6:45 am and get to work for 8pm. Then I go to the gym after work, but then I work on grading and the next lecture for class. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30 am (probably shouldn’t of had sex at 1am either but what the hell!). I couldn’t even watch Nip/Tuck with my girls which pisses me off because there is nothing than a big bottle of red, Christian troy and bitching about life with my fabulous ladies.
Wednesday: Wake up at 6:45am go to work. Horrible weather always makes me want to kill myself on my daily commute. People drive like maniacs and then wonder how they spun out of control and get into an accident. Everyone else is subjected to slow commute and then there are the assholes who don’t follow the blatant signs that state “Left lane closed two miles up due to accident” NO instead of merging those fucking assholes keep driving forward until they get to the accident, force themselves into the lanes where other intelligent people already merged with no fucking problem. I make every effort to be that bitch and not let any of them in. Seriously traffic wouldn’t be as bad if you just merged two mile back! End of that rant….hehe.
Thursday: Woke up a little late for work, but it wasn’t too crazy yesterday and I actually did nothing but exciting laundry, went to the gym (which was curiously busy for a Thursday night at 8pm), did a little grocery shopping, and then made some dinner, while cleaning the bathroom, and taking a shower. I watched a little TV (I have a love hate relationship with “Lost” the show) and passed out at 11:30pm.
Friday: I wake up to a slight snow storm (always fun since I never watch the news and always get surprised) and now I am trying to catch up with my blogging. Then after work I am going for one drink at happy hour, picking up the fiancé to attend a opera with Mamma dukes, and then going to bed sober (hopefully).
For the weekend I have to make two lectures, get my hair done (haven’t done anything to my hair in 9 months and it shows) grade some quizzes, keep working on the loads of laundry we have, study for my interview on Monday (took the day off but somehow I agreed to do it at 8:30 am even though it is 40 minutes away, WTF is wrong with me) and then go to a dinner party. Don’t get me wrong my life is fabulous but I haven’t even been able to drink at all. I seriously just realized I haven’t had a glass of wine in like 10 days! Ok, Fuck everything else for the weekend….my new goal is to buy 6 magnum bottles of wine and down them all in a 24 hour period and catch up on all my favortie blogs. The rest of life can kiss my ass because my liver and blog addiction takes precedent.
All my blogger buddies please say a prayer I kick ass in my interview…I really don’t want to have to give Blow jobs to get a job! Hehehe.
Let’s see a over view of why my life is so ridiculous from a typical week of mine.
Monday: Wake up at 5:45am to go to the gym (which the doctor allows me to only swim or cycle) and then off to work for 8am. I have been working a lot harder these days, not by choice but ever since two colleagues of mine quit (smart assholes) I am next in line for big projects. I have had to actually work as opposed to writing in my blog and searching the internet. From work I drive to my class for 5:20pm. Then I teach and give a lab. I don’t get out of the lab room until 9:50pm and the commute is 45 mins home so I prance in the door about 10:45 pm. This is when I make dinner and try to catch up with my fiancé. Proceed to sex and then sleep at midnight.
Tuesday: Wake up at 6:45 am and get to work for 8pm. Then I go to the gym after work, but then I work on grading and the next lecture for class. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30 am (probably shouldn’t of had sex at 1am either but what the hell!). I couldn’t even watch Nip/Tuck with my girls which pisses me off because there is nothing than a big bottle of red, Christian troy and bitching about life with my fabulous ladies.
Wednesday: Wake up at 6:45am go to work. Horrible weather always makes me want to kill myself on my daily commute. People drive like maniacs and then wonder how they spun out of control and get into an accident. Everyone else is subjected to slow commute and then there are the assholes who don’t follow the blatant signs that state “Left lane closed two miles up due to accident” NO instead of merging those fucking assholes keep driving forward until they get to the accident, force themselves into the lanes where other intelligent people already merged with no fucking problem. I make every effort to be that bitch and not let any of them in. Seriously traffic wouldn’t be as bad if you just merged two mile back! End of that rant….hehe.
Thursday: Woke up a little late for work, but it wasn’t too crazy yesterday and I actually did nothing but exciting laundry, went to the gym (which was curiously busy for a Thursday night at 8pm), did a little grocery shopping, and then made some dinner, while cleaning the bathroom, and taking a shower. I watched a little TV (I have a love hate relationship with “Lost” the show) and passed out at 11:30pm.
Friday: I wake up to a slight snow storm (always fun since I never watch the news and always get surprised) and now I am trying to catch up with my blogging. Then after work I am going for one drink at happy hour, picking up the fiancé to attend a opera with Mamma dukes, and then going to bed sober (hopefully).
For the weekend I have to make two lectures, get my hair done (haven’t done anything to my hair in 9 months and it shows) grade some quizzes, keep working on the loads of laundry we have, study for my interview on Monday (took the day off but somehow I agreed to do it at 8:30 am even though it is 40 minutes away, WTF is wrong with me) and then go to a dinner party. Don’t get me wrong my life is fabulous but I haven’t even been able to drink at all. I seriously just realized I haven’t had a glass of wine in like 10 days! Ok, Fuck everything else for the weekend….my new goal is to buy 6 magnum bottles of wine and down them all in a 24 hour period and catch up on all my favortie blogs. The rest of life can kiss my ass because my liver and blog addiction takes precedent.
All my blogger buddies please say a prayer I kick ass in my interview…I really don’t want to have to give Blow jobs to get a job! Hehehe.
Monday, February 4, 2008
SO FUCKING BUSY!
Holy shit my life is so crazy right now...between work being hectic, teaching a class (already got in trouble with my boss, YEAH), wedding preperations, trying to get some excercise, phone interveiws, job interveiws, birthdays, superbowl and trying to have a relationship with my fiance I feel like I am drowning! There are not enough hours in the day!
Will report more I promise!
Will report more I promise!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Molding our youth.
I am about a half an hour away from teaching a class. Yes, QLCG was hired to teach Intro to Biology to college kids. How might you ask? Shit if I know? I am pretty convincing in interveiws but deep down I sometimes laugh and think "HA you retards think I am smart enough to do this, HA!"
Granted I did go through alot of school for sciences (hence why I am an alcoholic) but seriously I wonder why anyone would trust me? I don't even trust myself. I am a self proclaimed bullshit artist. I make people believe shit I don't even believe and not to toot my own horn but I am good at it.
Hopefully these non-science majors will not have bullshit radar since I am pretty sure most college kids have a little of the gift as well.
Wish me luck!
Granted I did go through alot of school for sciences (hence why I am an alcoholic) but seriously I wonder why anyone would trust me? I don't even trust myself. I am a self proclaimed bullshit artist. I make people believe shit I don't even believe and not to toot my own horn but I am good at it.
Hopefully these non-science majors will not have bullshit radar since I am pretty sure most college kids have a little of the gift as well.
Wish me luck!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Art and water aerobics
Have I ever mentioned what amazing artists my parents are? I was lucky to be raised in a family of artists. My parents were both Fine art majors and surrounded us with art, culutre, music, etc. They also were well versed in History, politics and science so I feel very lucky to have such a diverse childhood.
My mother after years of slaving away in her own graphic design business she has gotten back to her roots and started to paint with oils and pastels again. At 55 years old she is not only getting alcolades for her work (gallery, shows, etc) but also doing something she loves.
I have been lucky and honored to do some modeling for her but recently she had S. and I pose for her for a selection she is doing of night romatic poses. A gallery is having a show and that is the theme. Since I am anonymous and have never shown what I look like I figure the following painting is anonymous enough since you can't see our faces but get the idea.
While posing S. and I almost felt like we were in a porn with my mother as the director, hehe! What do you think?
On another note I have started to go to Water aerobics at my gym since I can't really do anything else due to my broken foot. I walked in earlier this week and I was the only person below the age of 50! My fellow aerobic freaks looked alot like this....
Well maybe not that sexy but you get the idea!
My mother after years of slaving away in her own graphic design business she has gotten back to her roots and started to paint with oils and pastels again. At 55 years old she is not only getting alcolades for her work (gallery, shows, etc) but also doing something she loves.
I have been lucky and honored to do some modeling for her but recently she had S. and I pose for her for a selection she is doing of night romatic poses. A gallery is having a show and that is the theme. Since I am anonymous and have never shown what I look like I figure the following painting is anonymous enough since you can't see our faces but get the idea.
While posing S. and I almost felt like we were in a porn with my mother as the director, hehe! What do you think?
On another note I have started to go to Water aerobics at my gym since I can't really do anything else due to my broken foot. I walked in earlier this week and I was the only person below the age of 50! My fellow aerobic freaks looked alot like this....
Well maybe not that sexy but you get the idea!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Sorry.
Not much of a mood to blog, my grandmother died on friday and I went to a wake and funeral the last couple of days. Only fun thing is the irish like to party and drink after a funeral and not cry. So I somehow ended up loaded by 4 pm, and passed out till 8pm. Woke up and then could not sleep all night. I will write something more witty or funny tomorrow.
Friday, January 18, 2008
A MEME!
One of my friends sent me a meme with the following questions below. I don't do these alot but why not right?
1. Four Jobs I have had in my life:
Engineer
Research Scientist
Public Relations Assistant
Bartender
2. Four films I can watch over and over again:
Braveheart
Chronicles of Riddick
Waiting
Forest Gump
3. Four places I have lived
Connecticut
Pennsylvania
That is it...I am so fucking lame, HUH!
4. Four TV shows I watch
Law & Order (all of them including SVU, Criminal Intent and the orginal)
Nip/Tuck
The L word
Californication
5. Four places I went on vacation
Cape Cod, MA
Dominican Republic
Jamaica
I am going to Los Cabos Mexico in June!
6. Four internet sites I visit alot
Post Secret Blog
Go fug yourself
Drew Curtus' Fark. com
Job sites to find a new one
7. Four dishes I couldn't/wouldn't want to eat
Tounge
Monkey brains
mashed potatos
escargot
8. Four dishes I love:
Sushi
Steak and potatoes
Breakfast food (eggs, pancakes, bacon)
Garlic flavored triscuits with garden vegetable cream cheese (It's a dish to me)
9. Four places I would like to be right now:
At home in bed naked with my fiance sleeping
Los Cabos, Mexico
Greece
At a bar sipping a glass of wine
10. Four people to tag:
I'm a craigslist whore
Confessions of my so called life
A girl's relationship with Seattle
Habitat for Inhumanity
1. Four Jobs I have had in my life:
Engineer
Research Scientist
Public Relations Assistant
Bartender
2. Four films I can watch over and over again:
Braveheart
Chronicles of Riddick
Waiting
Forest Gump
3. Four places I have lived
Connecticut
Pennsylvania
That is it...I am so fucking lame, HUH!
4. Four TV shows I watch
Law & Order (all of them including SVU, Criminal Intent and the orginal)
Nip/Tuck
The L word
Californication
5. Four places I went on vacation
Cape Cod, MA
Dominican Republic
Jamaica
I am going to Los Cabos Mexico in June!
6. Four internet sites I visit alot
Post Secret Blog
Go fug yourself
Drew Curtus' Fark. com
Job sites to find a new one
7. Four dishes I couldn't/wouldn't want to eat
Tounge
Monkey brains
mashed potatos
escargot
8. Four dishes I love:
Sushi
Steak and potatoes
Breakfast food (eggs, pancakes, bacon)
Garlic flavored triscuits with garden vegetable cream cheese (It's a dish to me)
9. Four places I would like to be right now:
At home in bed naked with my fiance sleeping
Los Cabos, Mexico
Greece
At a bar sipping a glass of wine
10. Four people to tag:
I'm a craigslist whore
Confessions of my so called life
A girl's relationship with Seattle
Habitat for Inhumanity
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I"m "small tits" Maid of Honor!
TOOOO MANY THINGS AT ONCE! I swear between work being fucking insane, searching for a new job, preparing for my teaching job, wedding planning for me and my girlfriends wedding (I am her maid of honor and her wedding is a month before mine) and trying to have somewhat of a life I feel totally pulled at the strings. I usually love this kind of chaos and it keeps me really focused but I think a mixture of broken foot, no exercise, and lack of sleep is making me crankier than usual. So I sit here at work and try to not talk to anyone and keep plugging away.
Last night S. and I picked out a cake and it was great because they brought you out like 20 samples of different cakes to try. Hmmm why are my pants getting tight again? I pretty much let S. pick it out since I am not a cake person to begin with. Sure I am going to do the feeding each other bullshit, but besides that I probably won’t have any. I know I am weird but give me a back of chips over sweets any day. Do they have that? A potato chip wedding cake? Fine I will just take a salt lick.
As for tonight I am going to order my bridesmaids dress for the wedding that I am one of the maid of honors for. She finally picked out a freaking dress for us. Not a huge fan of it only because it is made for bigger girls (her sister is bigger and fitted first) with HUGE tits and I was spat on by god and given tiny, perky tits. So alterations are dire for my “big tit” dress.
Onto venting about being in this wedding.
First some background. My girlfriend whom we will call Goth girl (she really isn’t Gothic but has long black hair and the palest skin you have ever seen) is getting basically remarried in May. She married her husband last June in Vegas and is now having a church wedding. That is fine, I get it…Have a church wedding with everything but my problem with Goth girl are three things.
1. She is a complete and utter procrastinator and even worse indecisive.
2. I feel like I am a Maid of honor because I am organized and have money.
3. Cheapest person in the world but yet picked the most expensive dresses.
Let’s bitch about the first point shall we? She has taken forever with everything and the only thing that really bothered my about this is her dresses. Thank you for waiting 4 months before the wedding to tell us finally (after 5 trips to dress shops and changing your mind like 50 million times) which dress we are wearing. Now I have a couple of days to come up with 200 dollars so I can maybe get the dress in time to alter it.
As for the wonderful pleasure of being Maid of Honor my other girl Dirty Hippie is as well. Goth Girl and I have been best friends forever, pretty much since we were 15 but over the years, time and space (she works third shift and is married, while I work first shift) has not stopped her from being my best friend but we definitely don’t see each other as much. Dirty Hippie has been best friends with both of us for about 8 years and I think is closer to Goth girl than I am. They see each other a lot more, etc. Now I know this is bitchy to say but I think Goth girl made me MOH as well since Dirty Hippie is still in grad school and very unorganized (she is a free spirit). So I am kind of stuck taking care of everything.
Finally Goth Girl is the cheapest friend I have ever had (she is getting better slowly, her husband is a good influence on her and tipping, hehe) but yet she is shopping at high end shops and was a little unimpressed with us booking a fabulous weekend for her bachelorette party in Springfield MA with a suite, stripper and VIP access to some great restaurants and clubs. No good enough you say? Well then screw you! I will take that hot exotic dancer and get a spanking all by myself.
P.S. I really do love Goth girl, just needed to vent a bit.
Last night S. and I picked out a cake and it was great because they brought you out like 20 samples of different cakes to try. Hmmm why are my pants getting tight again? I pretty much let S. pick it out since I am not a cake person to begin with. Sure I am going to do the feeding each other bullshit, but besides that I probably won’t have any. I know I am weird but give me a back of chips over sweets any day. Do they have that? A potato chip wedding cake? Fine I will just take a salt lick.
As for tonight I am going to order my bridesmaids dress for the wedding that I am one of the maid of honors for. She finally picked out a freaking dress for us. Not a huge fan of it only because it is made for bigger girls (her sister is bigger and fitted first) with HUGE tits and I was spat on by god and given tiny, perky tits. So alterations are dire for my “big tit” dress.
Onto venting about being in this wedding.
First some background. My girlfriend whom we will call Goth girl (she really isn’t Gothic but has long black hair and the palest skin you have ever seen) is getting basically remarried in May. She married her husband last June in Vegas and is now having a church wedding. That is fine, I get it…Have a church wedding with everything but my problem with Goth girl are three things.
1. She is a complete and utter procrastinator and even worse indecisive.
2. I feel like I am a Maid of honor because I am organized and have money.
3. Cheapest person in the world but yet picked the most expensive dresses.
Let’s bitch about the first point shall we? She has taken forever with everything and the only thing that really bothered my about this is her dresses. Thank you for waiting 4 months before the wedding to tell us finally (after 5 trips to dress shops and changing your mind like 50 million times) which dress we are wearing. Now I have a couple of days to come up with 200 dollars so I can maybe get the dress in time to alter it.
As for the wonderful pleasure of being Maid of Honor my other girl Dirty Hippie is as well. Goth Girl and I have been best friends forever, pretty much since we were 15 but over the years, time and space (she works third shift and is married, while I work first shift) has not stopped her from being my best friend but we definitely don’t see each other as much. Dirty Hippie has been best friends with both of us for about 8 years and I think is closer to Goth girl than I am. They see each other a lot more, etc. Now I know this is bitchy to say but I think Goth girl made me MOH as well since Dirty Hippie is still in grad school and very unorganized (she is a free spirit). So I am kind of stuck taking care of everything.
Finally Goth Girl is the cheapest friend I have ever had (she is getting better slowly, her husband is a good influence on her and tipping, hehe) but yet she is shopping at high end shops and was a little unimpressed with us booking a fabulous weekend for her bachelorette party in Springfield MA with a suite, stripper and VIP access to some great restaurants and clubs. No good enough you say? Well then screw you! I will take that hot exotic dancer and get a spanking all by myself.
P.S. I really do love Goth girl, just needed to vent a bit.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
SLUG
I am completely sick of this broken foot! Damn you heels for getting me into this. I have been unable to go to the gym, work out, barely even walk for the last month and a half because of this injury.
Oh and did I mention this was all over the holidays. Which basically means I am getting fatter and fatter by the second. Granted I am tall so others don't seem to notice (maybe they are being kind, hehe) but I can feel it in my pants and clothes. WTF! I need to move around, on top of getting huge I feel like a slug with Narcolepsy. All I do is feel tired. I just took a quick cat nap at work in a meeting room. I know I can totally get caught but I figure it is best to not fall asleep at my desk.
I go back to the doctors in like three weeks and all I want to hear is "Go on SLUG work your little heart out!" Is that too much to ask.
P.S. S is not helping the situation, keeps feeding me and feeding me!
P.S.S: Haven't heard anything about the job yet, think I am going to email the guy soon.
Oh and did I mention this was all over the holidays. Which basically means I am getting fatter and fatter by the second. Granted I am tall so others don't seem to notice (maybe they are being kind, hehe) but I can feel it in my pants and clothes. WTF! I need to move around, on top of getting huge I feel like a slug with Narcolepsy. All I do is feel tired. I just took a quick cat nap at work in a meeting room. I know I can totally get caught but I figure it is best to not fall asleep at my desk.
I go back to the doctors in like three weeks and all I want to hear is "Go on SLUG work your little heart out!" Is that too much to ask.
P.S. S is not helping the situation, keeps feeding me and feeding me!
P.S.S: Haven't heard anything about the job yet, think I am going to email the guy soon.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I don't wanna grow up I'm a toys R us kid.
Why oh why do I decide that partying to 4:30am on Saturday night is a good idea? I never recover well and usually sleep away the day. Well that is exactly what I did! I partied so fucking late, and then slept in until 3:30pm! I haven’t slept that long since college and I feel like a piece of useless shit.
Overall the weekend was fun; I hung out with friends on Friday and then went to a catered party on Saturday night. Left early and started to party hard core, until 4:30am rolled around and I forced S. to pass out with me.
I did get some wedding stuff done this weekend including some bridesmaids dressed picked out and also registering. Can I just tell you that registering is fun and weird at the same time? I basically go around with this scanner that beeps whenever to want something and scan it. It kind of felt like Christmas, but I couldn’t bring myself to go too crazy since I realize people have there own bills as well. I did pick out a breathalyzer, and some great sheets, hehe! Gotta love BED, BATH and BEYOND.
I also picked out flowers and was so thankful for the amazing deal I got where I basically saved about a thousand dollars. So I changed my motif a bit but hey saving a thousand dollars and not putting a deposit down rocked (she said I was trustable, OH YEAH!). So instead of orchids only I am using Lilies, daises, roses and carnations. It should be gorgeous and if not then I will be the first bride to not carry any tacky looking flowers.
Well enough about wedding shit (seriously I feel super pretentious discussing it) and discuss job opportunities. So that guy who gave S. his card appears to totally be able to help me get a job as a pharmaceutical sales rep! OHHH fuck YA! I am so psyched and need to get the hell out of this job. I need something new and better and not a fucking cubicle. I would work out of my home; get a company car, corporate credit card, and hopefully more money. More importantly I would have a future in a career I would actually like, and lets face it the perks are amazing! I am waiting for a call back with that company and have a phone interview with another company this Friday. So everyone once again say a prayer, sacrifice an animal, or something to help me get one of these jobs.
Another UPDATE one of my longtime girlfriends just had a baby, which is actually super bizarre to think about because we used to smoke pot, date older guys, get thrown down to the principal office and generally be a pain in the ass. Now she has a little spawn of her own. It almost makes it real that everyone is growing up. Yeah weddings and houses are being bought but to me real adulthood begins when you have a child. It is no longer about you and your life changes. Well that is what they say right? So I am going to visit her and her new husband (she will be his third wife, crazy huh?) and the new baby. Hopefully I won’t freak out and run away screaming “I don’t want to grow up, you can’t make me!”
Overall the weekend was fun; I hung out with friends on Friday and then went to a catered party on Saturday night. Left early and started to party hard core, until 4:30am rolled around and I forced S. to pass out with me.
I did get some wedding stuff done this weekend including some bridesmaids dressed picked out and also registering. Can I just tell you that registering is fun and weird at the same time? I basically go around with this scanner that beeps whenever to want something and scan it. It kind of felt like Christmas, but I couldn’t bring myself to go too crazy since I realize people have there own bills as well. I did pick out a breathalyzer, and some great sheets, hehe! Gotta love BED, BATH and BEYOND.
I also picked out flowers and was so thankful for the amazing deal I got where I basically saved about a thousand dollars. So I changed my motif a bit but hey saving a thousand dollars and not putting a deposit down rocked (she said I was trustable, OH YEAH!). So instead of orchids only I am using Lilies, daises, roses and carnations. It should be gorgeous and if not then I will be the first bride to not carry any tacky looking flowers.
Well enough about wedding shit (seriously I feel super pretentious discussing it) and discuss job opportunities. So that guy who gave S. his card appears to totally be able to help me get a job as a pharmaceutical sales rep! OHHH fuck YA! I am so psyched and need to get the hell out of this job. I need something new and better and not a fucking cubicle. I would work out of my home; get a company car, corporate credit card, and hopefully more money. More importantly I would have a future in a career I would actually like, and lets face it the perks are amazing! I am waiting for a call back with that company and have a phone interview with another company this Friday. So everyone once again say a prayer, sacrifice an animal, or something to help me get one of these jobs.
Another UPDATE one of my longtime girlfriends just had a baby, which is actually super bizarre to think about because we used to smoke pot, date older guys, get thrown down to the principal office and generally be a pain in the ass. Now she has a little spawn of her own. It almost makes it real that everyone is growing up. Yeah weddings and houses are being bought but to me real adulthood begins when you have a child. It is no longer about you and your life changes. Well that is what they say right? So I am going to visit her and her new husband (she will be his third wife, crazy huh?) and the new baby. Hopefully I won’t freak out and run away screaming “I don’t want to grow up, you can’t make me!”
Friday, January 11, 2008
Why isn't it June?
So here are some pics (I love tripadvisor since they give real photos from travelers that have been there)of the amazing resort we are going to and on other news I have a phone interveiw with two companies in the next two weeks for a new job. Please say a prayer I need to get the fuck out of this cubicle!
Rooftop Jacuzzi area! SWEET!
Other part of resort
Gorgeous Scenery
Swim up bar and pool
Our bedroom (Hope once they find out we are honeymooners they will upgrade us?!)
Fire pits near rooftop jacuzzi
Rooftop Jacuzzi area! SWEET!
Other part of resort
Gorgeous Scenery
Swim up bar and pool
Our bedroom (Hope once they find out we are honeymooners they will upgrade us?!)
Fire pits near rooftop jacuzzi
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I Desire some hooky time
Yesterday was great! S. and I played Hooky from work and we have not done that in ages. We basically stayed up late (called out early) and slept until 11am. Naked and warm in bed we had amazing lazy sex (where you spoon while having sex so limited energy except to cum is needed) and then I made him breakfast.
After breakfast we just bummed around naked all day (GOD I love having our own place) and I got a little planning for the wedding done. We are booking our honeymoon which I cannot wait. It is called Desire resort in Los Cabos, México. It is a nude, adult only resort that looks gorgeous.
We went to Hedonism in Jamaica last February and it was amazing so this place is similar just newer. S. and I hate wearing clothes and if we could move to one of these resorts we would. Best part is we are staying for 10 days! None of this week bullshit, plus lets face it you basically spend two days traveling so we will have 8 real vacation days.
These resorts are fabulous, no people under 21 and they do them nights at the clubs at night. Things like retro, lingerie, and toga. Last year we dressed up for the Pimp and Ho night and let me tell you S. and I went overboard. He even had a PIMP cup like Lil John, YEAH!
On another note I am planning my girlfriends bachelorette party (I am a maid of honor) and in the process of booking a stripper. Low and behold I didn’t know he would call me at work. This could be an interesting conversation. I think I need to keep my voice down while I ask questions, hehehe!
After breakfast we just bummed around naked all day (GOD I love having our own place) and I got a little planning for the wedding done. We are booking our honeymoon which I cannot wait. It is called Desire resort in Los Cabos, México. It is a nude, adult only resort that looks gorgeous.
We went to Hedonism in Jamaica last February and it was amazing so this place is similar just newer. S. and I hate wearing clothes and if we could move to one of these resorts we would. Best part is we are staying for 10 days! None of this week bullshit, plus lets face it you basically spend two days traveling so we will have 8 real vacation days.
These resorts are fabulous, no people under 21 and they do them nights at the clubs at night. Things like retro, lingerie, and toga. Last year we dressed up for the Pimp and Ho night and let me tell you S. and I went overboard. He even had a PIMP cup like Lil John, YEAH!
On another note I am planning my girlfriends bachelorette party (I am a maid of honor) and in the process of booking a stripper. Low and behold I didn’t know he would call me at work. This could be an interesting conversation. I think I need to keep my voice down while I ask questions, hehehe!
Monday, January 7, 2008
The wedding shit.
So I know I haven't posted much about my upcoming wedding, I guess I do not want to be one of those bridezilla's but I have gotten alot done. I actually got into a little tiff with S. last night over money regarding the wedding. Not a big one but definately annoying to fight about honeymoons and him getting a second job.
I actually have had to get a second (technically third) to help pay for this wedding due to a huge fucking irish catholic family and the soul sucking over priced market they call a wedding mill. I am teaching a community college intor to Bio class starting the end of this month which will help me with about 4 grand. S. on the other hand just keeps working but not going above. I wouldn't care except he is hell bent on going away for 2 weeks to Jamaica. I would love to but I don't think it is in our budget. AKA....go get another fucking job if you want it that bad. Hmmmm maybe I should have delievered that better. So we went to bed angry at each other, which I am learning to do (doesn't happen very often).
I am sure it will blow over and hopefully my researching and googling skills will help me land a great deal. Sometimes I just don't even want the whole wedding crap anyway....to annoying and stressful.
Back to work.....
I actually have had to get a second (technically third) to help pay for this wedding due to a huge fucking irish catholic family and the soul sucking over priced market they call a wedding mill. I am teaching a community college intor to Bio class starting the end of this month which will help me with about 4 grand. S. on the other hand just keeps working but not going above. I wouldn't care except he is hell bent on going away for 2 weeks to Jamaica. I would love to but I don't think it is in our budget. AKA....go get another fucking job if you want it that bad. Hmmmm maybe I should have delievered that better. So we went to bed angry at each other, which I am learning to do (doesn't happen very often).
I am sure it will blow over and hopefully my researching and googling skills will help me land a great deal. Sometimes I just don't even want the whole wedding crap anyway....to annoying and stressful.
Back to work.....
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Sooo cold...
It is so fucking cold outside I feel like my nipples are going to fall off!
On another note, I am going to see Aaron Lewis (from Staind) accoustic style tonight! Whoo hoo love that fucking guy and his music.
Guess my nipples aren't that important....
On another note, I am going to see Aaron Lewis (from Staind) accoustic style tonight! Whoo hoo love that fucking guy and his music.
Guess my nipples aren't that important....
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Can you believe it...
I seriously have not done a lick of real work today! I have had stupid pointless meetings and surfing the web. I just can't get into any of it. I need to get on the job hunt today. I am such a cyclical person. I will be so diligent and anal retentive for like 2 months than nothing. I seriously hope my bosses never realize that they are paying me to
1. write my blog
2. post discussions on criagslist
3. email everyone all the fucking time
4. look up new jobs and wedding shit
5. smoke ciggerettes
6. be a lazy piece of shit
Why do I want to leave this job again?
Honestly I know this sounds like an excuse but I hate my fucking job so I usually have very little motivation. I get what needs to be done and I am somehow faster than my coworkers but I really could be working faster and better.
Onto other news do you remember Greek guy? He is the back and forth guy who I could have really seen myself with but he was horrible in bed and after several attempts i couldn't break myself from S. (who is amazing in bed and I have been in love with for 4 years). Honestly I used to call him whenver S. and I were fighting to make myself feel better (I know I can be a fucking bitch sometimes) but it is hard because pretty much besides the sex thing greek guy was great.
So I get an email out of the blue from him and he was asking about me getting married and I replied back. The next email I got was from him saying he was getting married. Whoah...not that I am not happy for him but we talked in April and he had just broken up with a long term live in girlfriend and I know he wasn't dating anyone (He asked me out) and all of a sudden 8 months later he is getting married? Hey I guess to each their own, rushing isn't for me but some people don't mind. He is pushing to meet for drinks which I am all about but I get this weird feeling he is doing it to prove to me he is over me, which honeslty I don't care...So I am going to go to see what the deal is (update to follow). I hope he isn't so fucking bizarre in bed with his fiance as he was with me..the poor thing.
1. write my blog
2. post discussions on criagslist
3. email everyone all the fucking time
4. look up new jobs and wedding shit
5. smoke ciggerettes
6. be a lazy piece of shit
Why do I want to leave this job again?
Honestly I know this sounds like an excuse but I hate my fucking job so I usually have very little motivation. I get what needs to be done and I am somehow faster than my coworkers but I really could be working faster and better.
Onto other news do you remember Greek guy? He is the back and forth guy who I could have really seen myself with but he was horrible in bed and after several attempts i couldn't break myself from S. (who is amazing in bed and I have been in love with for 4 years). Honestly I used to call him whenver S. and I were fighting to make myself feel better (I know I can be a fucking bitch sometimes) but it is hard because pretty much besides the sex thing greek guy was great.
So I get an email out of the blue from him and he was asking about me getting married and I replied back. The next email I got was from him saying he was getting married. Whoah...not that I am not happy for him but we talked in April and he had just broken up with a long term live in girlfriend and I know he wasn't dating anyone (He asked me out) and all of a sudden 8 months later he is getting married? Hey I guess to each their own, rushing isn't for me but some people don't mind. He is pushing to meet for drinks which I am all about but I get this weird feeling he is doing it to prove to me he is over me, which honeslty I don't care...So I am going to go to see what the deal is (update to follow). I hope he isn't so fucking bizarre in bed with his fiance as he was with me..the poor thing.
The laziest woman in the world update!
Happy New Years to everyone!
I want to say happy new years to my bloggers and hope everyone had a great holiday! I was unable to blog at all due to my fear of losing anonymity at home. There have definitely been times when I wanted to write but god forbid the history came up and I was found out. I need this place to be raw and crazy, even if it is one sided.
The last 11 days off from work was fabulous and at the same time totally and completely unproductive. I basically accomplished nothing, slept in till 11am everyday and my condo is dirtier than when I first started vacation. I did order centerpieces (I really need to get on the fucking ball with this wedding), scrubbed the shower, cleaned sporadically and celebrated my youngest sisters 21st birthday. That is it! Over 11 wonderful days and that is it.
I did the Christmas visit etc which was tedious but fun, but overall I was a useless piece of shit. Plus I can feel myself getting fatter and fatter as we speak considering since I broke my foot the gym has been null and void. All of the Christmas parties, and get togethers filled my fat ass with chocolate, cookies and lots of booze. I can totally understand how people who just sit around gain weight. I would just sit in front of the TV and all of a sudden I would be hungry. It’s like nothing else would register in my brain except food.
So I will highlight a little bit of fun I did have over the holidays.
Sister’s 21st birthday: It was a blast but hobbling around with a broken foot is not as fun as one would expect. Honestly I just thought people would be fooled and think my limping was a sign of drunkenness. No such luck and somehow even though I had the broken foot and was on pain killers and drinking my two girlfriends ended up puking all over the place that night. Classy, I know.
Christmas Eve: I attended the annual Christmas eve party for my fathers side of the family. Now this is the huge Irish catholic drunk family which looks like a huge house party than an intimate family affair. This year my sister invited her boyfriend Safety guy who I am friends with and I hooked her up with. He mentioned his fear of how “meeting the family was a big step, blah, blah, blah” So I replied “ Well Safety guy you do know what happens when you meet the family right? We suck your soul out and your whole fucking life with crumble into nothing.” He laughed and eventually went. I am sure he did not expect me to pay two of my little cousins to approach him and ask for his soul, hehehe! Have to have some humor right?
Christmas: Christmas was fun, and low key which I like. S. got me the regular, typical good gifts. Gift cards, perfume, body stuff, etc. I was happy since this year there was not much I wanted. I still think the best gift was the huge pack of batteries (I think it was 30 AA batteries) he got so my vibrator and clit massager would never be without, hehe! Gotta love this man.
New Years: Went to an amazing dinner with three of my girls (S had to work until 11pm) and drank fabulous wine and had amazing sushi. We all got a little dressed up and tried to feel high class before the inevitable drunkenness to follow. I got back and partied it up until 5:30am in the morning. This late night extravaganza never happens anymore (not since my raving drug induced days) but I had S. three male cousins (and in the wedding) over crashing at our place. Try being the host to four guys after being drunk. I basically have no food anymore in my condo. It was a blast and I felt the after effects yesterday. There are more stories involved with New Year’s that I will post later but for now I will get back to my crappy job and remember that 2008 is hopefully going to be a new and amazing year!
(P.S. Looking at this post I cannot believe how little I can fucking right about due to my slothness over my break. I need to not eat, actually work at work and get on the fucking ball!)
I want to say happy new years to my bloggers and hope everyone had a great holiday! I was unable to blog at all due to my fear of losing anonymity at home. There have definitely been times when I wanted to write but god forbid the history came up and I was found out. I need this place to be raw and crazy, even if it is one sided.
The last 11 days off from work was fabulous and at the same time totally and completely unproductive. I basically accomplished nothing, slept in till 11am everyday and my condo is dirtier than when I first started vacation. I did order centerpieces (I really need to get on the fucking ball with this wedding), scrubbed the shower, cleaned sporadically and celebrated my youngest sisters 21st birthday. That is it! Over 11 wonderful days and that is it.
I did the Christmas visit etc which was tedious but fun, but overall I was a useless piece of shit. Plus I can feel myself getting fatter and fatter as we speak considering since I broke my foot the gym has been null and void. All of the Christmas parties, and get togethers filled my fat ass with chocolate, cookies and lots of booze. I can totally understand how people who just sit around gain weight. I would just sit in front of the TV and all of a sudden I would be hungry. It’s like nothing else would register in my brain except food.
So I will highlight a little bit of fun I did have over the holidays.
Sister’s 21st birthday: It was a blast but hobbling around with a broken foot is not as fun as one would expect. Honestly I just thought people would be fooled and think my limping was a sign of drunkenness. No such luck and somehow even though I had the broken foot and was on pain killers and drinking my two girlfriends ended up puking all over the place that night. Classy, I know.
Christmas Eve: I attended the annual Christmas eve party for my fathers side of the family. Now this is the huge Irish catholic drunk family which looks like a huge house party than an intimate family affair. This year my sister invited her boyfriend Safety guy who I am friends with and I hooked her up with. He mentioned his fear of how “meeting the family was a big step, blah, blah, blah” So I replied “ Well Safety guy you do know what happens when you meet the family right? We suck your soul out and your whole fucking life with crumble into nothing.” He laughed and eventually went. I am sure he did not expect me to pay two of my little cousins to approach him and ask for his soul, hehehe! Have to have some humor right?
Christmas: Christmas was fun, and low key which I like. S. got me the regular, typical good gifts. Gift cards, perfume, body stuff, etc. I was happy since this year there was not much I wanted. I still think the best gift was the huge pack of batteries (I think it was 30 AA batteries) he got so my vibrator and clit massager would never be without, hehe! Gotta love this man.
New Years: Went to an amazing dinner with three of my girls (S had to work until 11pm) and drank fabulous wine and had amazing sushi. We all got a little dressed up and tried to feel high class before the inevitable drunkenness to follow. I got back and partied it up until 5:30am in the morning. This late night extravaganza never happens anymore (not since my raving drug induced days) but I had S. three male cousins (and in the wedding) over crashing at our place. Try being the host to four guys after being drunk. I basically have no food anymore in my condo. It was a blast and I felt the after effects yesterday. There are more stories involved with New Year’s that I will post later but for now I will get back to my crappy job and remember that 2008 is hopefully going to be a new and amazing year!
(P.S. Looking at this post I cannot believe how little I can fucking right about due to my slothness over my break. I need to not eat, actually work at work and get on the fucking ball!)
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