Yesterday was great! S. and I played Hooky from work and we have not done that in ages. We basically stayed up late (called out early) and slept until 11am. Naked and warm in bed we had amazing lazy sex (where you spoon while having sex so limited energy except to cum is needed) and then I made him breakfast.
After breakfast we just bummed around naked all day (GOD I love having our own place) and I got a little planning for the wedding done. We are booking our honeymoon which I cannot wait. It is called Desire resort in Los Cabos, México. It is a nude, adult only resort that looks gorgeous.
We went to Hedonism in Jamaica last February and it was amazing so this place is similar just newer. S. and I hate wearing clothes and if we could move to one of these resorts we would. Best part is we are staying for 10 days! None of this week bullshit, plus lets face it you basically spend two days traveling so we will have 8 real vacation days.
These resorts are fabulous, no people under 21 and they do them nights at the clubs at night. Things like retro, lingerie, and toga. Last year we dressed up for the Pimp and Ho night and let me tell you S. and I went overboard. He even had a PIMP cup like Lil John, YEAH!
On another note I am planning my girlfriends bachelorette party (I am a maid of honor) and in the process of booking a stripper. Low and behold I didn’t know he would call me at work. This could be an interesting conversation. I think I need to keep my voice down while I ask questions, hehehe!
Showing posts with label stripper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stripper. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Hilarious
I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He's rather taken back because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?' to which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He's rather taken back because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?' to which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'
Monday, November 5, 2007
Worth all the pain
All I can say is every woman in America should go to a male review! It is so much fun and not as bad as you would think. The show is campier than anything, but the guys definitely show the women a good time. I will give you a play by play of the evening so you can get an idea of how much fun the night can be.
I get out of work and as I am driving home realize that I have a great plan to save me and the ladies some money. If you are a bachelorette party the bride gets in free and everyone else is half price. So we split the money down the line evenly but we saved everyone like 15 dollars by purchasing a tiara, sash, and beads for the ladies. I am the only one with a ring so we decided it would be my mock bachelorette party. Hmmm I like the sound of that.
So we meet up at my girl Social work girl’s house and start to drink…started out with a shot and a vodka mixed drink. My girl Party girl (can party like an alcoholic man) gave me a different shirt to wear in sprit of my mock bach party. Now this shirt was a white baby T with two pink hand prints on the boobs and showed my midriff off quite nicely. After a few laughs and shots we drive to the venue and continue to drink. We get in and realize I am the only “bachelorette” which causes more and more people to offer shots. Hmmm Quarter life crisis girl turn down a shot? I THINK NOT….this ends up bad later but fun at the time. Before the show started they did a raffle for the ladies where you can win the chance to rub down the dancers before they hit to floor. Well, well, well guess who won….Oh yeah I did!
So as I go in the back and rub down this amazing specimen he basically smacked my ass as I was leaving. Errr this is definitely different than the female strip club where touching and grouping is highly forbidden. I am giggling and return to my girls. Eventually the show starts and I am put in the hot seat for a bit. Basically the hot seat in on the stage and the dancer gives you a lab dance and when I mean lap dance I mean he puts his face in your crotch, caresses you as he gets naked, hehe! It was fabulous and I did enjoy his nice tan ass. The ladies got some great pictures and video….hmm remembers to never run for president. After that I continue to drink….now this is where it gets hazy. Uhhhh more like I don’t remember a fucking thing.
Apparently we went to three more bars and I just kept drinking…until the upchuck reflex kicked in. I was very good about not puking anywhere public but the next thing I remember if being put in a cab home. I remember slurring something about not taking the long way home and screwing me out of money to the cabbie which made no sense because I just threw him a twenty anyway without waiting for the change. I somehow made it into my condo. (Thank god for old people who go to bed early) and passed out. I woke up with the worst headache and hangover and realized I am getting old. So old that I slept most of the day away and did not drink at all while attending a party on Saturday. So basically the whole weekend was kind of ruined due to some hot stripper’s ass, but hey I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I get out of work and as I am driving home realize that I have a great plan to save me and the ladies some money. If you are a bachelorette party the bride gets in free and everyone else is half price. So we split the money down the line evenly but we saved everyone like 15 dollars by purchasing a tiara, sash, and beads for the ladies. I am the only one with a ring so we decided it would be my mock bachelorette party. Hmmm I like the sound of that.
So we meet up at my girl Social work girl’s house and start to drink…started out with a shot and a vodka mixed drink. My girl Party girl (can party like an alcoholic man) gave me a different shirt to wear in sprit of my mock bach party. Now this shirt was a white baby T with two pink hand prints on the boobs and showed my midriff off quite nicely. After a few laughs and shots we drive to the venue and continue to drink. We get in and realize I am the only “bachelorette” which causes more and more people to offer shots. Hmmm Quarter life crisis girl turn down a shot? I THINK NOT….this ends up bad later but fun at the time. Before the show started they did a raffle for the ladies where you can win the chance to rub down the dancers before they hit to floor. Well, well, well guess who won….Oh yeah I did!
So as I go in the back and rub down this amazing specimen he basically smacked my ass as I was leaving. Errr this is definitely different than the female strip club where touching and grouping is highly forbidden. I am giggling and return to my girls. Eventually the show starts and I am put in the hot seat for a bit. Basically the hot seat in on the stage and the dancer gives you a lab dance and when I mean lap dance I mean he puts his face in your crotch, caresses you as he gets naked, hehe! It was fabulous and I did enjoy his nice tan ass. The ladies got some great pictures and video….hmm remembers to never run for president. After that I continue to drink….now this is where it gets hazy. Uhhhh more like I don’t remember a fucking thing.
Apparently we went to three more bars and I just kept drinking…until the upchuck reflex kicked in. I was very good about not puking anywhere public but the next thing I remember if being put in a cab home. I remember slurring something about not taking the long way home and screwing me out of money to the cabbie which made no sense because I just threw him a twenty anyway without waiting for the change. I somehow made it into my condo. (Thank god for old people who go to bed early) and passed out. I woke up with the worst headache and hangover and realized I am getting old. So old that I slept most of the day away and did not drink at all while attending a party on Saturday. So basically the whole weekend was kind of ruined due to some hot stripper’s ass, but hey I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Friday, September 14, 2007
I was thinking about money and how I have absolutely no idea how I have none. I don’t go crazy buying coach bags or shoes…Marshalls is a huge treat for me yet I still seem to work paycheck to paycheck. This notion is enhanced ten times in the fact that I made way less (I am talking like 35,000 dollars less) when I was in college and grad school and somehow I was able to afford more. Granted I have more bills but it just gets me thinking, what is the point of making more money when you are just going to spend it on crappy things like a mortgage, food and a car?
New revelation: I need to move to a warmer state and just live as a beach bum or a stripper (hey I won't be eating as much so my body should look fabulous).
On another note I am playing match maker to my sister and safety guy. Remember him he hit on me and I was and still am with S. so that was never going to happen, so I figured hey my sister looks just like me and overall is a nicer person. They have already gone on two dates, now it is out of my hands and maybe my sister can become the wife and mother she always wanted to be. Say a prayer, that is really her only dream and it may not be mine but I want my sisters to accomplish all of their dreams.
New revelation: I need to move to a warmer state and just live as a beach bum or a stripper (hey I won't be eating as much so my body should look fabulous).
On another note I am playing match maker to my sister and safety guy. Remember him he hit on me and I was and still am with S. so that was never going to happen, so I figured hey my sister looks just like me and overall is a nicer person. They have already gone on two dates, now it is out of my hands and maybe my sister can become the wife and mother she always wanted to be. Say a prayer, that is really her only dream and it may not be mine but I want my sisters to accomplish all of their dreams.
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