The laziest woman in the world update!

Happy New Years to everyone!

I want to say happy new years to my bloggers and hope everyone had a great holiday! I was unable to blog at all due to my fear of losing anonymity at home. There have definitely been times when I wanted to write but god forbid the history came up and I was found out. I need this place to be raw and crazy, even if it is one sided.

The last 11 days off from work was fabulous and at the same time totally and completely unproductive. I basically accomplished nothing, slept in till 11am everyday and my condo is dirtier than when I first started vacation. I did order centerpieces (I really need to get on the fucking ball with this wedding), scrubbed the shower, cleaned sporadically and celebrated my youngest sisters 21st birthday. That is it! Over 11 wonderful days and that is it.

I did the Christmas visit etc which was tedious but fun, but overall I was a useless piece of shit. Plus I can feel myself getting fatter and fatter as we speak considering since I broke my foot the gym has been null and void. All of the Christmas parties, and get togethers filled my fat ass with chocolate, cookies and lots of booze. I can totally understand how people who just sit around gain weight. I would just sit in front of the TV and all of a sudden I would be hungry. It’s like nothing else would register in my brain except food.

So I will highlight a little bit of fun I did have over the holidays.

Sister’s 21st birthday: It was a blast but hobbling around with a broken foot is not as fun as one would expect. Honestly I just thought people would be fooled and think my limping was a sign of drunkenness. No such luck and somehow even though I had the broken foot and was on pain killers and drinking my two girlfriends ended up puking all over the place that night. Classy, I know.

Christmas Eve: I attended the annual Christmas eve party for my fathers side of the family. Now this is the huge Irish catholic drunk family which looks like a huge house party than an intimate family affair. This year my sister invited her boyfriend Safety guy who I am friends with and I hooked her up with. He mentioned his fear of how “meeting the family was a big step, blah, blah, blah” So I replied “ Well Safety guy you do know what happens when you meet the family right? We suck your soul out and your whole fucking life with crumble into nothing.” He laughed and eventually went. I am sure he did not expect me to pay two of my little cousins to approach him and ask for his soul, hehehe! Have to have some humor right?

Christmas: Christmas was fun, and low key which I like. S. got me the regular, typical good gifts. Gift cards, perfume, body stuff, etc. I was happy since this year there was not much I wanted. I still think the best gift was the huge pack of batteries (I think it was 30 AA batteries) he got so my vibrator and clit massager would never be without, hehe! Gotta love this man.

New Years: Went to an amazing dinner with three of my girls (S had to work until 11pm) and drank fabulous wine and had amazing sushi. We all got a little dressed up and tried to feel high class before the inevitable drunkenness to follow. I got back and partied it up until 5:30am in the morning. This late night extravaganza never happens anymore (not since my raving drug induced days) but I had S. three male cousins (and in the wedding) over crashing at our place. Try being the host to four guys after being drunk. I basically have no food anymore in my condo. It was a blast and I felt the after effects yesterday. There are more stories involved with New Year’s that I will post later but for now I will get back to my crappy job and remember that 2008 is hopefully going to be a new and amazing year!

(P.S. Looking at this post I cannot believe how little I can fucking right about due to my slothness over my break. I need to not eat, actually work at work and get on the fucking ball!)

Registries and my clit

Can I tell you how bizarre and fun creating a registry is?! I just made two registries online because everyone kept bitching that I didn’t have one. Sorry masses I am not a money grubbing gold digger only getting married for gifts, but it is nice finding things to get for our new condo. Who knew you could purchase a asparagus steamer (ok, ok I didn’t get any more retarded non-needed kitchen stuff except this) because I love ASPARUGUS. I also found adorable casual china and a lot of other stuff. It’s funny though because I still think about people spending too much. So I made it easy on people poor or rich (hmmm do I even know anyone rich, hehe) by registering at Macy’s and also Target. I think it was better that I did it online because I could picture myself going insane with products around me in the stores and registering for too much. The most expensive thing I registered for S. and I was a DYSON vacuum which I am hoping my grandmother will get it for me. I don’t think I am going to get expensive china since I am pretty sure I will NEVER use it, honestly I can only remember one time my mom used it in my childhood and that is because we mentioned how no one ever uses china anymore. Well hopefully people will get most of the shit on the registry so I can dump all the un-matching shit we have now, hehe!
ON the condo front our closing is on September 28 so it is coming up quickly and I am excited. It will be so nice to be out of a house full of testicles and cocks (except S. of course). I am trying to save as much as possible which is going pretty good and everyone would be proud of me…I turned down going out last night and even some pot. Pot just makes me fucking eat all day and night; booze doesn’t make me eat but makes me spend more. FUCK how wonderful drugs and alcohol are, hehe!
Hmm do you think anyone would notice if I brought my clit massager into work and took a long break, all of a sudden I feel extremely horny……(total random thought I know)