What is the deal?

So I get home from work last night and actually saw my roommate (we’ll call Sharon) whom has been MIA since she has a new man. Do not get me wrong Sharon is one of my true best friends who was definitely there for me with this whole crazy breakup, back together, breakup limbo crap situation I have with S. She was the true friend who dropped everything and invited me out because she knows how I don’t deal with my own thoughts very well.
On the topic of friends it is crazy how you realize who are true friends and those who are convenient fun friends when you go through something like this. I was surprised because I have some friends whom have been there before when I was falling apart but now really are not. To the point where I ask myself why am I friends with them. My main problem is I am classified as a giver. Our couples counselor (S. and I even tried that) told me that I am too much of a giver to my friends and family and constantly do not put myself first. So when I fall apart (which happens maybe once every two years) and I do not receive the same emotional support I give makes me fall deeper into depression, if not angers me. It was crazy to hear him say you have to stop being the giver or else you will burn out by the time you are 35. I have such issues with this…..why do I have to stop caring about people and giving? Treat others as you would be treated? Am I naïve to this my friends of ten years or more can do that? Apparently now that they are married or in a Long term relationship it is. The bizarre thing is that even though S. and I were together for almost 4 years (not really sure what we are now) I never once not included my friends or flat out dropped everything for them when they needed it (especially with the matters of the heart). Dammit the stress of this is the last thing I need. So the question is do I change my ways to become another selfish person in the sea of many (firm belief that the whole change of taking care of yourself first all the time, etc is the reason that divorce is so high, sometimes it is valid and sometimes not) or do I continue to be who I am (guess coming from a large, strong loving family made me that way) and realize that people will not change and accept them for who they are?

P.S.: S. texted me how he wishes I was there because he was doing laundry and we used to do it together (kind of a ritual)…hmmm is that a compliment or do you not like to fold? What is the deal with this man…..