Well this weekend was definitely crazy, fun and a little much. Lets see first off I went to the happy hour which turned out to be a lot of fun, and I got the cute R&D guy to go, but I found out real soon that he is just as damaged as I am right now. He got dumped by his long term girlfriend of 5 years about a month ago. Hmmm ok this could be good right, two messed up young people coming together….WAIT no that is not good because we work together. So we talked flirted and he asked for my number (I gave it after numerous blue moons, hehe) before he left. Well as I am bounding from one coworker to another (So many people showed up due to the fact that it was 4 peoples birthdays) bantering I start talking to Safety Guy….ended up spilling my guts about S. when Hot gym boy texts me about ignoring his calls, blah blah. I was up front and told him “WE have nothing in common at all, so why are we pretending?” He said he wanted to be friends..Ahhh OK friends should be able to have conversations but that is fine. Ease your ego big man and call us friends. It’s too bad I am not really physically attracted to Safety guy because his personality ROCKS. He is too funny and I love a good sick sense of humor. I definitely had an ego boost all night considering I paid for barely any drinks, convinced a random guy to share his pitcher with me, and even got a guy I yelled buying me drinks.
Apparently men love bitches and this is fine right now because I am bitter and have a wall up. I don’t care if I ever see any of these guys I have been dating or talking to. So continuing with the night….
After drinking till midnight and seeing two coworkers making out whom were so mismatched and in my craziest dreams could not have see that coming, I decided enough was enough and walked Safety guy to his car and gave him a hug goodbye. As I am driving home I am mad, mad at S. and men in general. So I decided to act like a man and call Hot gym boy. I asked him what he was doing and told him to come to his house. He dropped his friends immediately and came home. I basically told him to shut up so we can have sex. He kept trying to talk and although he has a great body and not a bad package I was sorely disappointed with his stamina. I was in and out in 25 mins! I hate having to pretend getting off but what was I going to do, try and talk to this guy. So I left and he made it clear that he wanted me to call him and he doesn’t mind the booty call arrangement. This is good for me but I don’t know if I feel like training him. It was actually a little liberating to act like a man. Although I feel bad to a certain extent, basically I am releasing my anger out on random men when we all know it is coming from S. The worst part is I know this but I also know I am not going to stop. I went home and saw that S. was online and I called. I know I know, shoot me now. BUT before you condemn me I was in a good mood and we had a great talk, well I was good on the phone S. was depressed (probably a fucking act) and we talked openly about everything. I told him I am getting better and better and the not seeing him/sleeping with him was really good for me. It was a long conversation over an hour, but it was nice to talk and hear his voice. I can’t wait for the day when we can be best friends, but sometimes I know that will A. Never happen or B. Take like 10 years and us to both fall in love with someone else. Finally by 3:30am I passed out after a long night…
I woke up early and went to the gym (my saving grace through this whole thing) and then met up with Rec. Guy for an afternoon date. We went to a scrimmage game to the state school. I am not a fan of football but we did more chatting than anything. It was getting cold so we went to a restaurant and I actually ate some greasy bad food which felt like a brick afterwards. Now the thing about Rec. Guy is that he is a sweet normal guy who is not bad but he is kind of boring. We don’t really have the same sense of humor and although he is adorable and a good-looking guy he doesn’t get me excited. So I am going to have to break the news to him that I don’t think it is going anywhere. I made sure to pick up our last lunch so I didn’t feel guilty.
I will continue to the rest of the weekend later today but off to a meeting…
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