Crazy Bachelorette Party

Ohhh my god, My bbachelorette party was so freaking amazing! I had the best time with thirteen girlfriends of mine. I basically can sum it up in a nutshell. I got drunk, sold life savers off my chest and rode a bull until my skirt went up to my neck and my ass was shown to the whole city of Boston. Like I said, I don't go down without a bang!
On other news I am still at training and it is fun but really stressful. So much info at once but my main problem is not the science part more the sales, you have to work toward this certain verbage and algorythym which is not me. Now talking to everyone they basically say that it is not that way in the field but with any training you have to tell them what they want to hear. SO I swallow what they want and vomit it back out. Thank god for the amazing chicks I have met, it feels like 4 years of college all rolled into 4 weeks. I do feel a bit sad because S is home as sick as a dog and he is alone. I hate being sick alone so I feel extra guilty. Not that he has said anything but again Catholic guilt has come up in my veins.
So I go to bed feeling guilty, dirty from my bachelorrette party and tired from being so fake. Wish me luck, hehehe!

I'm a bitch

OK I am going to revert to being a bitch (sometimes I can't help it) plus this is supposed to be the forum where I say what I really feel as opposed to what I would ever act upon. I am at training, for a whole month. You heard right....a whole month I have this great suite with a great roommate (she is from manhatten) and I have met a bucnh of cool people. But I need you to imagine a bunch of sale people. Phamraceutical sales people which mean Type A personality, good looking people who are alot of fun.
This is so great where everyone is fun. I can talk to anyone but at the same time you can figure out in three days the male whores and dirty sluts (did I mention I am a bitch). Now when I say this... I do not mean jealousy I mean guys who are married and have three kids below 6 and women who offer themselves up to two guys at once.
Part of me is torn because the girls are a bit younger and in my impetuous days I was a cock tease...BIG time. I would talk a big game but never act, and I loved attention from guys. Whatever who am I kidding I still do but not from men who have stated they are married and have kids. Hmmm I wonder if this upsets me because i AM GETTING MARRIED IN 5 WEEKS. Besides that I feel Like I hold women up to a higher standard.
There is this amazingly beautiful girl in my class, I mean I want to be her. She is hot, sweet and appears to be nice. So in my eyes I am like holy shit she has it all. Well then I see her offer herself to two guys, not jokingly.....for real. I am flabergasted because she could have any man in the crowd and she is settling for any lame ass guy paying attention to her. This is the core of me bothers me. NO women for any matter should be like this...but this girl is model hot. So I am a bitch when I say... SHE IS A SLUT.
So even though everyone is so great...guys and girls included I can't help but realize I am getting old. I think it's crazy for the hot girl to be like that and upsetting for the married man to act like such a douchebag. I seriously do not know when and where my party lifestyle made me become such a bitch?
Excuse me while I go change my depends and put on golden girls....

Training

Well I am here in NJ for training...definately alot of cool people and some not so cool. I will update soon and miss having sex with S. Guess my good ole vibrator will have to do.

P.S. I never knew after 4 years that my vibrator glows in the dark, hehehe!

Hmmm is S picking up or...

SO I didn't go to bed until 2 am, due to my masturbation and blogging late last night (had to catch up on all my favorites, you know who you are!) and get this!

This morning at like 6 am S gets up and gives me the normal kiss goodbye while I am in bed, and I kind of wake up hug him and tell him "Ohhh I wish you could just stay in bed with me!" then roll over and go to bed.

He leaves the room and then comes back (not sure of time frame I was asleep) and he says Hey if you can give me a ride I can stay an extra half hour (his car is in the shop and has been taking the bus)I of course agree and he gets naked comes back to bed and we have great sex.

WHAT the hell?

Is he a mind reader....or looked at the history on our computer and saw me looking up tons of scottish/irish porn? I think the latter and you know what?

GOOD I got my sex

Remind self to continue to look up porn so he remembers that I need sex too.

My masterbation dilemma

SO I am here at 1:30 am alone after masturbating to some Scottish porn. OK not trying to get to crazy but I am sort of pissed off and a little upset. I don't know what is wrong with me and sometimes S. See the major problem I know is me and sometimes I feel like a guy who is in a girls body.

Don't take that the wrong way I don't want to be a man, but I think my view of sex is sometimes distorted or at least I feel that way due to the numerous women I know in my life and how they view it.

I have tons of friend who are married, living with their man, or been in long term relationships and all of them are ok with sex every once in a while and when I say once in a while I mean probably could go for months.

I on the other hand want it all the time...I would say I want it everyday or close to it. Here is when I think I am like a man. I feel like I am the one always initiatating sex. Since we have moved in together since October S and I have sex but not as much. I feel like a guy who was duped. Don't get me wrong he doesn't turn me down and I know we have been together for five years but come on....why can't you act like I am a sex goddess and you want to fuck me like you did the first couple of years.

I feel like sex is a barometer but also (which this is the fucked up part) I validate myself and this relationship by how much he wants to have sex, make love, or fuck me. (See I apparently have a invisible dick).

SO tonight I come home after having a nice dinner with my dinner and S and I watch some TV and he gets up and says I am going to bed. I finish my cigarette and go to walk into the bedroom and he is all in bed not in bed like I want to fuck you but I am in bed and want to sleep. I walk in and say:

"Hey don't go to bed"

He replies: What's wrong..

Me: Is everything ok, do we not fuck as much because we live together?

S.: Of course not we have sex like 4-5 times a week

Me: Uhhh we only had sex like twice this week?

S.: No Honey I still think you are sexy?

Me: I know I just feel like I am always inititating, I want you to want me too.

S. I do want you, what is the problem...

Me: I'm sorry I just feel like sex is a barometer

S.: It is and I think we are great

Me: OH ok hun

Me thinking: FUCK me right now, I am naked next to you telling you I want to have more sex

Him and what he does: rolls over and goes to bed after giving me a kiss

Back to now: OK I understand sex shouldn't be everything but COME ON! Don't most men complain about their wives not wanting to have sex! I know he watched porn and I know, I know..... we do have sex more than most people I guess.

Maybe I am just insecure....maybe scared. Is it too much to ask for him to want to fuck me like he did when we first met? Probably....so what do I do?

Go outside in the living room while he is sleeping and look up some Scottish porn and masturbate. Yes you heard right masturbate when I have an able body man in the next room.

I pause to sip my glass and think how crazy is this! We aren't even married and have kids? Isn't that when it is supposed to ch age, fall beside the waist line...since your kids are number one and sleep sounds more sexual than sex? Jeeeeez I love S so much and when we do have sex it is fabulous. Truth be told he is the best lay I have ever had, but sometimes I want him to want me more. God I do sound like a needy girl so I guess that changes my perception on feeling like a man.

Plus I am leaving in three days for like four weeks for training. Gotta love that then when I get back three weeks later is our wedding. I have no fear in marrying him I just wish I didn't want sex so much. Wish I was like my girlfriends and just didn't care. Wish I could go without...wish I didn't have to use porn when a hot sexy man is in the other room. DAMN I am going to go back to my wine, have a cigarette and then crawl into bed with a hot sexy man who didn't want to fuck me tonight.

The question is....am I just being insecure or crazy?

Dispicable

OK, I deserve a lashing or rather a flogging...like one of those crazy monks who whipped themselves senseless while the black plague was taking over Europe. I have been so horrible at keeping up my blog. I swear it is not you...it's me and that is not a breakup line either. Between the new job, my girlfriends wedding, and my wedding life is so fucking crazy. So onto something interesting in my life.

Can I tell you how much I love my job...seriously I know this sounds crazy but the hype is true about Pharmaceuitcal reps. Most of them are gorgeous especially the women. I have met some of my territories counter parts and can I just tell you DAMN! This should make me feel insecure but rather it makes me feel pretty. I was picked to be in this elite club of people with no souls who hock drugs, make money and never pay for a car or gas. I know I know this sounds so horrible but after years of college, and grad school being poor it is wonderful to know I am going to be ok. (AKA I secretly feel like a souless beast in comparison to my friends who work for non-profits and help the world but I can't help wanting to work hard and see results).

Ok now that I completely sounded like an asshole in the first paragraph let me explain why I do what I do. See I have this inner relization that I am not a very classy or tactful person. I swear to much, drink to much, etc. So I overcompensate for this by doing things like going to grad school, getting jobs with prestige and or money to make it look like I am a respectable person in society...whne deep down in side I love to watch shows like Maury. "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER" and drink wine out of a box. Hmmm years of being poor have ingrained this into me.

It's funny and weird though because even though I want money, confortable life, etc I still never spend alot of money on myself. I am not a handbag girl..and believe it or not I own one. Yup you heard it right ONE BAG. Actually the bag I have no is a hand me down Coach bag from like 3 seasons ago (I would never know that, but whatever) and this occured because my one back strap completely fell apart. I have never had a nice, new car until now because again I cannot see spending that much money on something that will depreciate.

I would rather spend money on going out, a condo, memories...or lots of wine rather than material things. I am the queen of Marshalls and have never purchased GUCCI, Dolce and Gabbana, or any other designer who I think a 80 tank top is too much. Yet, most of my friends do. They all have tons of clothes, nice cars, bags, shoes, etc. While I am finding a two for one deal at the sale rack.

The other day S. made the most poingant observation. I had just come in from cleaning the inside of my car and I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone and she mentioned how she had washed the car but only the outside. We were laughing and saying we need to switch off so our cars would be fully cleaned. As I hung up S. stated "No suprirse there"
I repleid "What?"
S. returned with " You washed the inside and all of your friends wash their outside. See it just shows you that you care about what is inside and comfortable for you, while your girlfriends all care about the outside and what other people think"

I was stunned and realized it was true that most of my friends are slumming it with me since I never cared about stuff like that. Yet it makes me wonder why I gravitate to people who do. Is it because I want to be like that or try to change them....Well whatever it is it seems to be working.

Well off to scratch my ass, drink boxed wine, and watch Maury.

Holy shit sooo long..

Holy shit it has been way to long since I have posted and for anyone who still might be reading this I apoligize. Well lets do some updates shall we.

I started my new job and thus far it is fabulous. I have a new car, computer, the works. Only thing that sucks is the home study. I feel like I am back in grad school studying the shit out of drugs and human anatomy. Luckily my genetics background seems to help. My coworkers that I have met so far seem really cool and like me. Talkative open people who are driven. My boss is great not a micromanager bitch like my college department head where I am teaching. That is a whole other story.

The last day at my other job was great. More than 50 people showed up for my happy hour, which made me feel cool and I got extremely drunk without spending a cent. We then went to the strip club and I got a great lapdance. I literally closed my eyes and just felt the hot stripper on me. Not to sound to weird but I can understand why men love it. Women are so soft to the touch and feel amazing.....I think the booze got to me, hehehe

The wedding season and crazy shit started last weekend. Basically every weekend I have either weddings, showers, bachelorette parties or shit going on. I have become a little obsessive about looking at my registry (yes I am one of those women I hate, but be rest assured I don't bore others with wedding talk)

I had the best sex last night can I just tell you! Talk about hot all around the room, upside down, every which way hot sex. I really needed it with all the stress so even though S will never read this thank you for being such a hot lay after 5 years.

Well back to studying and being lame but rest assure I am going to start posting more regulary now that I have my own computer through work (cannot have S. find me out).

Karma, rain and the bus

So this past week my fiancé and family have been carting me around like I was a child since my beater of a car crapped out on me. You seriously do not realize how much you need and utilize your car until you need tampons and it is raining like a monsoon outside.

This Saturday I was determined to make it to the Stop and Stop a couple of miles up the street to get feminine products and stuff for lunch during the week (do not have a car to go get anything), but of course when I look outside it is raining buckets. OH well that is not going to stop my mission. My mission to show everyone that I am no yuppie suburbanite who cannot take a bus or walk some where! So I log onto the local bus transit to see which line I should take and can I tell you something crazy? Bus schedules are the most confusing fucking shit ever! Yes, I have a college and graduate degree, yes I work as a biomedical engineer and yet I can’t figure out a simple diagram of different buses. Oh and of course after I figure it out I realize it is the line for during the week and I had to start all over.

Ok I know where the bus comes, what time it comes and when I need to get it back, so I grab my umbrella and go outside to wait. Can you believe in my head I kept thinking “Don’t look like a homeless person?” Uhhh I almost hit myself! In my head I am thinking, when did I become this snot….I don’t even own a car! Well Karma knew I was thinking horrible thoughts and brought a huge SUV by my bus stop and drove through a huge puddle which covered me! Honestly I deserved it for acting so self righteous that minute.

So 5 minutes go by and I am soaked, I mean up to my knees soaked and it was not a nice warm summery trickle but a freezing bone chilling “Little women” Beth dying of pneumonia rain. I am chattering my teeth when low and behold I see the bus coming from the opposite direction and not stopping! I run, chase and scream after this bus, while I look like a soaked 5’10’ inch rat and my umbrella broke. I was left there on the corner with no umbrella, and no bus. FUCK!

I was defeated and I knew it. I am a slave to technology and luxury and when I say luxury I mean a 1995 Mazda protégé which has tons of dents but always brought me where I needed to go. So I walked across the street to get some wine and booze and as I was walking back I realized why having a brown bag over your booze was a good thing in the rain.

Need some control

I don't know what it was but today at the Business Unit Meeting this morning I almost jumped across a bunch of engineers to punch a "planning" asshole boss in his face.

Nahh not really but I got so fucking heated that I left the meeting. Sometimes just sometimes I want to rip apart certain people who work in my company.

Long story short Planning was upset that a product was not on time. Now if we were making pens, or a toy truck I can understand the demand to rush things through....but we make SUTURES and biomedical equipment.

So I ask?

Do you want me to rush the batch of absorbable sutures that will be inserted into your overweight wife when she gets her stomach tied up?

Good sir, would you like to forgoe the quality of a staple that will go into your bratty only child's heart?

Hmmmmm would you like me to just pass a crappy bowel ring so your bile from your stomach falls into your intestines? Actually this douchebag would deserve it.

He wasn't even directing it toward me, but the snarky attitude he had made me want to scream "GO FUCK YOURSELF you retard!" but instead like a good little corporate droid who does not want to burn bridges (only 3 more days to go) I left the meeting pretending having to go to the bathroom. Plus I think I saved myself from being arrested.

Keep telling myself over and over...

ONE MORE WEEK...don't kill anyone or go postal. You can do it! One more week.

On a different note I had a great relaxing weekend pretty much movies, wine and sex. It was nice but I felt like I was 15 again asking for a ride from my friend. So tonight I have to teach my class and hopefully not kill any of my students either. Why oh why do I have to do all this shit for a wedding. Eloping is sounding better and better everyday.

My major flaw

It is time to share my flaws with my fellow bloggers. I do have them even though my life is so perfect (HAHA, hope you got the sarcasm in that) but I am plagued with pitfalls like everyone else. I believe my biggest flaw is also my biggest savior. Let me explain…

My biggest flaw has two parts

A. I talk a lot
B. I am open about everything

When I say I talk a lot, I do…I can’t help myself, I feel all of these thoughts racing through my head a million miles a minute and I can’t help letting them all spill out like word vomit. I can’t write as well or as fast as I can speak. This does not always make for a bad situation because even though I talk a lot I talk with humor and hopefully (not all the time) intelligence. With me around there is no awkward moment on a date, at a party, etc. I just keep the conversation going with open ended questions. I am sure for my fiancé, family and friends who have been around me for years and have to interact with me more than a couple hours this can be annoying.

I have had to learn that in the morning S. just can’t function with thoughts for about an hour. He can grunt, scratch, and eat but thought process and speaking skills seem to be devoid. At first when you are all infatuated and in love I would worry “Oh my god is it me?” “Is he getting tired of me already?” Of course over the years this has dissipated and I have to control myself to not jam pack my poor fiancé’s head with jibber jabber (did I just say that, hehe) until a little later.

As for the second part of the flaw I have definitely been open to people maybe I shouldn’t have. I figure that by being open with everything I never get in trouble, give the wrong impression and people know who and what I stand for, but you and I both know some people have really rigid, conservative ways and unfortunately I am the person who will make them feel the most uncomfortable. I just can’t comprehend not speaking your mind, or being closed off. I feel less anxiety, stress, problems, etc not only with my fiancé, family, but life. I have a crazy open communication with the people I love because I force them to be that way since I am. I do wish sometimes I wasn’t so open because I have definitely felt like an ass. Example of the following “foot way down in the back of throat” syndrome



Background of scene: Went over to a friend’ house (In college) and waiting in dining area with mother. I have not seen my friend or his family in a while.

After a typical how are you doing conversation she asks where I am working?

Me: “Oh, I work at the Mall in the salad, smoothie bar which is a great thing because it reminds me why I am in school.”

Mother: “Do a lot of people from our town work there?”

Me: “Oh yeah I work with a bunch of loser skanky girls from our town, who got knocked up an ruined their life before the age of 20, again another constant reminder of why I have to do something with my life and not disappoint my parents.”

Right at that moment my friend’s sister who is 19 comes around the corner knocked up and looking pretty skanky.



I must have looked so dumbfounded and embarrassed because all I can do was stutter over myself.

Me: “Oh well, you must be, uhhh different than those girls…you aren’t skanky in the least bit, uhhh got to go, great seeing you.”

My friend could not stop making fun of me the whole night and I have never gone over that house again.

Just remember before the good must come....

Sometimes I feel like God, Buddha, Siddartha, Allah or whoever is up there likes to fuck around with me a bit…nothing horrible but always reminds me to keep a level head.

I have this amazing crazy time right now between the new job, teaching, and wedding shit that I feel pulled in two but this weekend was very ironic to say the least. I got my wedding dress and it is gorgeous and makes me feel amazing but two weeks before my new job my shit box car decides to shit the bed. What the fuck! Seriously two weeks before I get a new car!

So here I am reverting back to 15 and calling people and coordinating rides. It’s so weird not having a car because until you don’t have one you never really appreciate how much you use one. I actually forgot for a second that I didn’t have one and said to S. “I am going to get alcohol tonight”…. walked out into the parking lot and then looked around like a confused senile old lady until I realized I was car less. Luckily the liquor store is less than a block away! I felt like a homeless alcoholic walking home in the dark with a brown paper bag. (Side note: why the hell did my fiancé not offer to come and carry his own damn microbrew?)

On a different note need to remind myself over and over again that 3 martinis, 4 glasses of wine and two shots may seem fun in the beginning but your need to vomit will over take that fun. Lying on the floor of your bathroom is not acceptable at 26.Please say this over and over to yourself….

I gave my notice!

I did it! I let them know that I was leaving…it went well but my poor direct boss looked devastated and rightfully so. Not because the company will not survive without me but rather a shit load of work is going to be coming her way. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am sure they will give me a lot more weight with work and it is going to be a long two weeks but hopefully it will go by fast. Update will follow soon.

My Disorder

I want to tell everyone of my disorder. I have been ingrained and raised with this horrible thing called….

Catholic Guilt

Let me give you a little bit of background as to how this disorder was acquired. I was born to two catholic loving parents who dragged all four of us to church every weekend. I was also placed in catholic private middle school and high school (all girls if you can believe). Over the years my parents were not brim stone and fire but masters of guilt. Guilt of letting people down, always doing everything I can and going above and beyond. This is a good quality in that I always over achieved in life, love and friends but this disorder has made me ridiculously guilty of things most people would not be. Do not get the wrong impression I am no saint and I do not pray with a group or wear a habit, Hell I don’t even go to church right now but this guilt is always there no matter what.

Catholic guilt is different than regular guilt because it is not just an action and reaction guilt it is a constant underlying feeling. I can even say it is not a guilt that I will burn in hell but just a guilt that I am not doing enough or I am hurting someone.

Most of my friends and family love this because it makes me go above and beyond. Example of things I did in the last two weeks that exude this disorder…

1. Valentines day: I have been working two jobs, interviewing for a new one, planning a wedding, and trying to keep up with normal errands of life but seeing my fiancé doing laundry (which is normally my job when my life is not so hectic) made me feel so bad that I got him a iPOD.
2. I am so afraid to tell my bosses that I am quitting. I feel horrible leaving them in a lurch even though I know business is business.
3. My friend lost a job but was the one who basically helped me get my new one so I have redone his resume, wrote him a fucking great cover letter and have helped him by faxing it out searching for jobs, etc. (P.S. he is doing a lot as well with interviews, etc)
4. I call my mom like 5 times a week and still try to impress her and help her every chance I get.
5. My girlfriend who has the eating disorder I always feel like I am not doing enough so this week or next I have to try to convince her parents to go to a support group with me just so that they can wake the fuck up and help her instead of living in denial.
6. Whenever I call out I feel awful.

If you look at these things in reality they just make me look like a caring person who goes out of my way to help, which is partly true but to me it is all due to this damn guilt. Most people can balance it but for some reason I can’t and do I want to? My guilt has always made me go above and beyond with my life, especially professional. The need to show my parents and impress them (don’t ask me where it came from they tell me over and over how great I am) had elevated me to higher education and a great job.

Better yet I have to learn from my parents how to instill this into my children do I don’t end up with a crazy crackwhore or loser son.

Things that make me smile.

When life is so crazy (good but crazy) you have to look at the little things to cheer you up. Mine are as follows.

1. Winning free tickets to a male review this weekend. Nothing better than naked men in your face.

2. Getting your new job package via UPS at exactly the moment I get in from work.

3. Having a clean desk (just spent about 2 hours cleaning it)

4. Having amazing animal sex last night

5. 8 hours of sleep last night

6. Fiance doing two loads of laundry last night while I worked on invites

7. Thinking about honeymoon to Los Cabos

These things make me smile and remind me how great life is!

Mini Breakdown

Have you ever felt so pulled at every direction in your life at once that you thought you were going to explode? That is how I feel right now. Let me list off what I am doing right now.

1. Full time Engineer job- this place is crazy and getting worse everyday! I am so glad I am getting out of here
2. Teaching job- How am I back to studying? This is a lot more than I had anticipated and basically adding a second job makes me have almost 70 hr work weeks.
3. Planning a wedding – which actually is more stressful paying for it.
4. Trying to get a new job- had to study a lot for this too, who new getting a new job would be so fucking stressful. This is a little better since I got the offer now I have to take the drug test and wait for the background check.
5. Dealing with a best friend who after 10 years is getting help with her bulimia. This is emotionally draining since her family is not being as supportive as they should be.
6. Being the made of honor for my best girlfriends wedding…just stuffed over a hundred shower invites.
7. Grandmother dying…enough said.
8. Add on trying to pay bills, keep condo clean and get some sleep.

Sometimes I am fine but last night my girlfriend who is going through this tough time needed me but then got defensive (as any recovering addicted person deals with) and I just broke down after I left. Not so much just because of her but because of everything. I am so thankful for my whole life and would never change anything sometimes I just wish there was more time….especially for sleep. I can feel the exercise and sleep deprivation making it harder and harder to remember shit.
Then I think how the fuck do people do all of this and then have kids? WTF? How do they do it? I give so much props to my mother who did all of it with her own graphic design company, but tack on 4 kids too. I need to go bring her a huge bottle or red tonight and thank her profusely.

I GOT THE JOB!

I just got an offer and although I am pretending to think about it, I know I am taking it! I am so fucking excited. I get a 2008 chevy impala, corporate credit card, gas card, new computer, fax, crackberry, and lots of other bonuses. I am so fucking excited. Of course at work I have to pretend everything is fine and normal but I am sure tomorrow will be great when I drop the bomb that I am quitting. I will update more later today but it is almost lunch and I am starving.

I WANT THIS JOB!

I totally fucking rocked my interview on Monday….which saved me from going down on two guys, hehehe. JK. No I was sooooo nervous the night before that I kept having nightmares all night and waking up. The following were nightmares of the night.

1. I overslept for the interview
2. I lost my voice in the interview after a very important question
3. Peed my pants in the interview

Needless to say I did not get much sleep but my adrenaline was running so high. The interview was only supposed to last about an hour and I had them in there for two, laughing no less. I felt so confident but reminded myself that I have felt that before only to be shot down. Well later that day they gave me a call and asked me for a second interview. Only thing that sucks is that it is tomorrow so I am going to have to call out of work. Hmmm need to think of a good excuse…. Diaherria is always a good one. Can’t prove or disprove what was coming out of my ass by any symptoms right?

So after giving my first test to my students….it is such a trip all of them calling me Ms. Quarterlifecrisisgirl, I am going to study like hell and pray for the best. I want this fucking job so bad! I was pumped up by one of the guys when he was describing the perks…let’s see.

New Company car (one of the following, I want the 300!)





Gas credit card (never have to pay for gas again) WHOOOO HOO!



AMEX corporate card to entertain physicians, etc (limit is $3000 dollars a month!)



Great base pay (same as now) but every quarter I can bonus up to $20,000! Can you fucking believe this?

Every single guy I have met in this company has a wife that stays at home with their kids and houses in high end towns in my state. I am so going to have S. stay home, cook, clean and be a stay at home dad! HAAHA! Everyone say a prayer I don’t bomb this interview tomorrow and I don’t piss my pants.

Life. What life?

Whew life has been going in full speed for me lately…and believe me the bags under my eyes show it all. Over the last two weeks I have not had more than two minutes of free time and that is taken up by showers and going to the bathroom.

Let’s see a over view of why my life is so ridiculous from a typical week of mine.

Monday: Wake up at 5:45am to go to the gym (which the doctor allows me to only swim or cycle) and then off to work for 8am. I have been working a lot harder these days, not by choice but ever since two colleagues of mine quit (smart assholes) I am next in line for big projects. I have had to actually work as opposed to writing in my blog and searching the internet. From work I drive to my class for 5:20pm. Then I teach and give a lab. I don’t get out of the lab room until 9:50pm and the commute is 45 mins home so I prance in the door about 10:45 pm. This is when I make dinner and try to catch up with my fiancé. Proceed to sex and then sleep at midnight.

Tuesday: Wake up at 6:45 am and get to work for 8pm. Then I go to the gym after work, but then I work on grading and the next lecture for class. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30 am (probably shouldn’t of had sex at 1am either but what the hell!). I couldn’t even watch Nip/Tuck with my girls which pisses me off because there is nothing than a big bottle of red, Christian troy and bitching about life with my fabulous ladies.

Wednesday: Wake up at 6:45am go to work. Horrible weather always makes me want to kill myself on my daily commute. People drive like maniacs and then wonder how they spun out of control and get into an accident. Everyone else is subjected to slow commute and then there are the assholes who don’t follow the blatant signs that state “Left lane closed two miles up due to accident” NO instead of merging those fucking assholes keep driving forward until they get to the accident, force themselves into the lanes where other intelligent people already merged with no fucking problem. I make every effort to be that bitch and not let any of them in. Seriously traffic wouldn’t be as bad if you just merged two mile back! End of that rant….hehe.



Thursday: Woke up a little late for work, but it wasn’t too crazy yesterday and I actually did nothing but exciting laundry, went to the gym (which was curiously busy for a Thursday night at 8pm), did a little grocery shopping, and then made some dinner, while cleaning the bathroom, and taking a shower. I watched a little TV (I have a love hate relationship with “Lost” the show) and passed out at 11:30pm.

Friday: I wake up to a slight snow storm (always fun since I never watch the news and always get surprised) and now I am trying to catch up with my blogging. Then after work I am going for one drink at happy hour, picking up the fiancé to attend a opera with Mamma dukes, and then going to bed sober (hopefully).

For the weekend I have to make two lectures, get my hair done (haven’t done anything to my hair in 9 months and it shows) grade some quizzes, keep working on the loads of laundry we have, study for my interview on Monday (took the day off but somehow I agreed to do it at 8:30 am even though it is 40 minutes away, WTF is wrong with me) and then go to a dinner party. Don’t get me wrong my life is fabulous but I haven’t even been able to drink at all. I seriously just realized I haven’t had a glass of wine in like 10 days! Ok, Fuck everything else for the weekend….my new goal is to buy 6 magnum bottles of wine and down them all in a 24 hour period and catch up on all my favortie blogs. The rest of life can kiss my ass because my liver and blog addiction takes precedent.




All my blogger buddies please say a prayer I kick ass in my interview…I really don’t want to have to give Blow jobs to get a job! Hehehe.

SO FUCKING BUSY!

Holy shit my life is so crazy right now...between work being hectic, teaching a class (already got in trouble with my boss, YEAH), wedding preperations, trying to get some excercise, phone interveiws, job interveiws, birthdays, superbowl and trying to have a relationship with my fiance I feel like I am drowning! There are not enough hours in the day!

Will report more I promise!