Nightmares...

Holy shit I had the most bizarre nightmare last night. I will not go into the whole long drawn out version but short story is that S. hit on some girl right in front of me and I broke it off. I proceeded to warn the new girl, and as I was walking out I saw my ex of 4 years (guy I was with before S. and all through college) and we reconnected. It has always been a back and forth of the ex and S.
The ex and I were engaged but I was so young and not ready and he had never been with anyone else. I remember when I was engaged with the ex I started having dreams and nightmares then too. I woke up so pissed and realized it was a nightmare. It was so vivid I was ready to walk out and needed to calm myself. The only good thing is right at that moment S. put his strong arms around me and cuddled, felt really good but my heart was running a million miles a minute. How can dreams be so real, and why am I dreaming about an ex? Sometimes just sometimes I feel like a guy. I have to remember to not freak out. I think I am starting to wig out a bit since the condo closing is coming closer and that is the first thing that really links us together. Why can't I just relax, and stop thinking like a man? Isn't the man supposed to be freaked out about commitment? I want to marry him and I love him but these dreams are not helping me!