(Remember when Tom Cruise was in the closet on south Park? Love that shit!"
I feel this "closetness" is necessary so that I can write and express everything and anything. I can be as crazy, hurtful, outspoken or retarded as I want. I found out how it might feel to be exposed as well. ONE WORD (ok well two)
FUCKING SCARY!
A good girlfriend of mine emailed me to catch up since we do not talk on a regular basis and she mentioned my blog. What was going on after she read my blog….MY WHAT! MY WHAT! How the fuck does anyone, I mean anyone know about my blog. My head starts to spin as beads of sweat fall down. What have I written over the last 100 posts, would she know about the people, me, etc? Oh my god, oh my god! I asked her calmly, as pit stains were starting to develop, where did you find it? Her response….Uhh on Myspace silly. Whoooo a stroke of relief flushes my body. She has not found out your secret, your craziness, and most importantly your blogging identity.
I didn’t think it would affect me that much to have someone know about my blog, but truly I have told no one, not even S. about it. I feel if I do I would have to censor or restrain myself. I need this place for the complete opposite of that. I don’t mind people I don’t know seeing this but people I do know might start to look at me differently if not feel hurt from this blog. Let’s face it nobody wants to know what people, even close loving people, think about you all the time. We all have our flaws and even though I love the close people in my life they annoy, hurt, anger me sometime or another as well as I do the same to them. I can hear my mom say “I love you QG but I just don’t like you right now” which is so true. Life is full of up and downs with the people you love (lets face it I probably wouldn’t care otherwise), but this place is my sanctuary and I do not want anyone I know to know about it.
Onto other news….the condo is looking fabulous (just felt like a hot gay man when I said that) and it is getting near perfection. Worked on the custom floating shelves S made me (he is so hot when he builds things) and it is going to look somethign like this but black.
I took the long awaited bath and it was nice. The funny thing is I remember baths being a lot bigger. Guess my 5’10 frame doesn’t help me in that area anymore.
To date S. and I have christened the living room floor, couch, dining table, bed and shower. Next should be kitchen and hallway (JK or am I). For some reason I can’t help but want to walk around naked all the time…which turns S on and then he attacks me.
Note: to people having sex issues, just walk around naked doing everyday things, and confident…this will put vagina and sexual organs in man’s view which renders them helpless.
I need some ass pushing so I go to the gym; I have been horrible since moving in. I have become obsessed with the condo and working on it until it is finished so I do not have to worry about it later. This normally is no big deal except Halloween and my slutty outfit is coming up soon and I do not need to look like a lard ass.
6 comments:
I thought about that too... about not being able to express myself because others are reading... But i really don't care :) Besides, some ppl might read my blog...but they most probably read it like i read yours... from time to time :)
As for ppl that know me and read my blog... well i cared at first...but not anymore.
Your blog is really funny and it sometimes reminds me of me :D
I'm a closet blogger too.. except I put up pictures. I figured as long as I don't label pictures with people's names then they'll be hard pressed to find them with Google anyway.
:)
Mau: Wish I didn't care but I know that sometimes my venting could hurt a person's feelings. Some people I could care less but some I would! Thanks for the compliment.
Sipwine: I am to scared to do that since some of my friends are pretty handy with the computer. I give you mad praise for putting yourself out there!
The only times that someone has found my blog has been when I'm dumb enough to open it on their computer. AKA, they have it in their history, and sometimes have come across it not even meaning too.
Which is why this is version 3 of this blog, and the first title I had for it had nothing to do with even wine.
No one has tried searching for it surprisingly. :)
Woah. That's freaky. How did she find out about your blog?
Valley Girl: She didn't find out about this blog she saw some blog messages from my Myspace acount (which I barely use anymore) and I thought it was about this one. Almost shit myself!
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