Catch phrase is banned!

ON Friday you could tell how great of a mood I was in with my job right? Well the day got better when I find out 10 minutes before we leave that there are two, count them two major accidents on the freeway I go home on. I already have a 35 minute commute and it was reported that one of the accidents caused all 4 lanes to be closed off!

Ok. QCG get it together make a plan. I map quest alternate routes home and one with absolutely no highway. Granted there would be more stop lights but an hour home was better than nothing.

I was wrong….dead wrong! Apparently I am not the only egg head to find another path home. EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE STATE did too. A trip that should take an hour took almost three. Needless to say I did not do anything that night in fear of stabbing someone. P.S. thanks truck driver for ruining my Friday night!

So onto Saturday… S actually had the day off so we slept in which was great and then we ran articles all day. Best part of the errands was the shopping for women’s pants so S can dress up as Prince for Halloween. I am talking Purple rain prince, oh yeah! There is nothing better than having your man go into a fitting room in a chick store and finagle his body into tight black pants. He had gained a little more insight into the slight of women and dressing well is like and I gained a laugh.

After finishing painting closets we went to my married friends’ house for Oktoberfest which was so much fun. Sauerkraut, appetizers and fall beer was amazing mixed with great friends until….

We all decided to play catch phrase. Catch phrase is basically charades with words and a timer. We in are older age seem to be getting into playing games when we are drunk. The thing is this game seems to bring out the worse in anyone. Yelling, screaming, anger, throwing things and general craziness comes with this game. Yet we continually think (when we are blasted) it will be different this time.

We pick teams and then at one point of the game two brothers start to yell at each other. When all of a sudden out of nowhere my good friend Truck driver comes over and hit one of the brothers in the head and goes for the next. The whole room goes into frenzy and craziness ensues. Do not get me wrong we have all seen fights but at the same time we are all starting to hit our thirties, isn’t this shit for when you are 16? I have decided that Catch phrase is banned from our group of friends…or until I am drunk again!

Morning sex...

OK to all the men out there I want to clear something up. I love "morning" sex but do not love "hard, throbbing dick, pointing in my butt crack, waking me out of a dead sleep, expecting me to be wet right away groggy" sex! Do not get me wrong if I wake up out of a nice sleep role over and see your amazing body glistening in the morning light and snuggle up then it is a go, hey even slightly caress me or go down town gently and I am sure morning sex would be fabulous! Plus lets not forget that breaths stink and my face mask has a tendency to make me look oily in the morning, not exactly sexy material. Ahh who the fuck am I kidding i don't care if I look sexy, I still love to have sex but getting jolted out of a dead sleep for cock isn't appealing in the least. Sorry S and all the men out there!

Can it get any better!?

Can we say shitty day (SHITTY DAY)! As I am driving home I hear this crazy noise coming from the left side front tire and realized this shitbox car needs to go to the shop. GREAT no car! How the fuck am I going to get home. I had to call my father! HA am I fifteen again. Thank god my dad is so laid back and chill (guess you have to be with 4 daughters and a wife) and came to pick me up and brought me home.
I get home and had to clean up cat shit (bad cleo, why are you making me look back in front of S.) and did some laundry. I look down and there is a letter from my gyno and as I open it up it turns out I have abnormal cells in my cervix and have to get it scrapped to make sure i do not have any cancer. WHOOOO fucking whoo. Can someone shoot me in the other foot. I did have a great sex session (bent over in front of a mirror with my wild hair and his hot body, mmmmm I need to stop touching myself at work) and a good night sleep but come on! Why does everything happen at once. WHAT THE FUCK! Oh well what is a girl to do (hmmm bottle of wine and S. dick sounds good right about now).

Always a victim

OK mid day rant..not pretty but needed for my sanity. I think one of my biggest pet peeves is people who blame everything wrong in their life on someone else.
I have a roommate (hmm first time living with a man and somehow I am living with three) who yes had a whore for a mother and a non existent mother but how come every time he loses a job, or crashes his girlfriends car (why she allows the loser to drive it after this has happened time and time again is beyond me), or generally fucks up it is always someone else fault.
My coworker (pubic chest hair man) who came in an hour and a half late started to bitch about getting yelled at. HELLO dumb ass you didn’t call and nobody really cares that it was because your son was late getting the bus. Especially not my boss who is a lesbian and has no children except her dogs (if it was because of your dog she would be more forgiving, hehe isn’t that crazy).
I guess the weird thing is my parents never believed in things like peer pressure and what not. I was responsible for my actions and that was it. My parents never fell for the “Oh it’s not mine it’s my friends weed” line. FUCK they would always assume it was mine. So I became accustomed to realizing pretty much most things I have some sort of control over (not all) and that my actions are my actions. HENCE if you get in trouble, admit it, apologize and move the fuck on. END RANT.

Love and Hate

I have no idea how one person can irritate and piss you off soo much one minute than the happiest person the next. This weekend we four (I will refer in the future as the foursome which includes S., I and our two best friends who happen to be married) went to Boston to celebrate Franks birthday. We made reservations for a really good restaurant called “radius” which was delicious but took forever.
Here is the clincher. S. is a chef and that is wonderful but he does not realize that he completely comes off as a condescending dick when it comes to food and wine. I apparently have no “palate”. Know what “go fuck yourself”! This coming from a guy who will eat old milk or food with a little bit of mold on it. Do not get me wrong, I know he has years and years of experience with food and wine but I am not a complete fucking retard either.
So over dinner I was getting more and more pissed off but just kept it to myself. So at one point I went to go for a smoke (dinner was over three and a half hours) and S. followed me. On a side note my sister (her and her husband joined us as well) made some snide comment that we must be having sex in the bathroom (yeah right) because once years ago we had sex in their bathroom (so sue me I enjoy sex with my partner maybe she should try it).
He comes out and then begins showering me with compliments and soon enough I am not pissed but elated. So how does this work, am I that easy to calm, or am I picking my battles.
Sometimes I watch Frank and Hairstylist and I am amazed at how she treats him. She pretty much berates him, and is a snot and he just takes it. Is that how married life will be? I pray to god that I never become like that…although maybe S is just being like Hairstylist and I am like Frank taking it up the ass?