The "List"

The other day for some odd reason I started to think of my “list”. Everyone has the “list” of their sexual partners and how different parts of your life and outlook change the type of lovers you have. I think pre-sex was the best training for me to have a really healthy sex life. I figure hey why not share with everyone (plus as time goes it gets more and more difficult to remember) in the internet world.

When I was younger I was a tomboy, sports, and a lot of guy friends. This actually helped me not have sex until I got to college. I would hear true insight at what men think and how sex is. Plus lest not forget how fertile my family is on both sides. My father comes from a family of 11 kids and all married which gives me something about 45 blood cousins (crazy sexual Irish Catholics with no protection).

I basically realized I did not want to be a practicing post for most men, because face it I didn’t know my body and most men around that age don’t either. So when all the girls I knew said sex was so great, years down the road admitted that sex then was a mish mosh of awkwardness like two fish flopping on the sand. Plus the big O didn’t occur for a majority of my girlfriends, while the teenage guy pounding away got his. Do not get me wrong this is not all the guys fault I didn’t even start masturbating till college, so how do I expect a man to know how to please me when I didn’t? I couldn’t fathom having sex which wasn’t going to make me feel great for the risk of being knocked up. I wasn’t going to let crappy sex ruin four years of partying which was on the horizon.

I did have one situation which I still debate with friends as to whether it is considered sex but I will list that with the others. So without no further ado the list!

1. First love (oh to be young and naive): He was the first guy I got butterflies for and who also broke my heart. I never cared about someone before, even if they broke up with me. This is the debate: He was the first guy I did anything with included a debacle of a hand job (rug burn), and getting naked. We basically attempted to have sex when I was 16 and when I say attempted I mean he put it in, I freaked and he took it out. No thrusting, no pain, no movement, and no ejaculation…so do you consider that sex for the first time?
2. Senior guy: I was a freshman, he was a cute senior, I was drunk and just decided to do it. Nothing special, wasn’t forced (I showed up at his door later that evening) and honestly didn’t even want to be with him. I think my curiosity at that point was so high about what the fuss was about that I just did it with this nice guy I knew wanted to be with me, so if I got emotionally attached it would last at least a little while. Well needless to say I was so disappointed…that’s it? This is what everyone is talking about? It didn’t hurt, it pretty much didn’t do anything. At the end I started to get dressed and he stammered “Aren’t you going to stay over?” I looked back and replied “Uhhh no thanks, don’t feel like doing the walk of shame, thanks and we're still friends right?”
3. Big Dick boy: This guy who I met was white but had the biggest dick I have ever encountered! I mean like 8-9 inches. This was a huge change and actually not for the better. I couldn’t be on top and other positions were uncomfortable. I dated him about 4 months but still didn’t orgasm but didn’t quite wince as much.
4. Latin Lover: This was a great experience not that I orgasmed but I finally felt some passion and the guy’s dick was perfect. We did it in the basement bathroom of our dorm because we both had roommates that knew we had boyfriend/girlfriends. I can say one thing Latin men say the most amazing things to you and are so much fun in bed…downside usually sluts so a relationship is never going to happen.
5. Short guy: He was a guy I dated in the summer that I met on E at a rave. We talked and talked but when we stood up he was about 5 inches shorter. I am 5’10 so you get the drift. I dated him for the summer and fucked him in my car near a lake. Good times but I never found my panties.
6. Virgin: I took a guy’s virginity in college. I was so drunk and invited him back, started having sex, went to turn on the lights, fell over a fan, continued to have sex till I got sick and passed out. Sooo romantic for the guy. In my defense I didn’t know I took his V card till a mutual friend told me. I actually felt so guilty I continued to date him and guess what? I fell head over hells in love with him and was with him for 4 years! He and I explored each others bodies; I finally experienced an orgasm and anal sex. We did everything under the sun and both found our sexuality together.
7. S. : He was the first time I had ever truly cheated. The guy in college that I was seeing never made it official but with Virgin boy we were engaged! I don’t know what happened but I fell for S. immediately mentally and physically. The sexual tension was so high I felt like orgasming when he looked at me. I resisted for over three months and we hung out a lot. S. and I became a couple after I crushed poor virgin, who to this day I fell awful about.
8. Threesome: On one of S and I breakups, I found out S. was already sleeping/dating someone else within a day or two of breaking up. He had met her at the bar the night we broke up and took her home. I was enraged, hurt and distraught so one night while hanging out with two good friends of mine (not my normal group but grad school peeps) my girlfriend (who has been with both sexes) started hitting on me, one thing lead to another and my other guy friend was coming over anyways so when he got there we invited him in. The weird thing about the threesome was that both parties wanted me so a lot of focus was on me. They wouldn’t fuck each other only me. I can honestly say it was fun, different and at some points way to much stimulus. I held that secret as a “fuck” you to S even when we got back together. I thought” Hahha, something you always wanted and I got it without you!” He eventually found out and still isn’t truly comfortable about it. Hey you fucked me over and I had a threesome.
9. Greek boy: He was another one when S and I broke up (only twice over 4 ½ years) and he was such an amazing person. He could have been the only man that swayed me from S. He was adorable, tall, dark, handsome, hilarious, smart, rich, and sweet but one major problem. He was awful in bed and weird about it too. I think he had a virgin whore complex? He really liked me and I him, so he couldn’t just fuck me. I was the virgin and fucking me would make me a whore. Hmmm I like being both. So we have done the back and forth thing, always calling over the last three years when both of our love lives are in peril. But timing and his lackluster performance has made it so my children will never be Greek and I will not be rich. DAMMIT, hehe.
10. Hot Idiot Boy: He was the one guy I slept with this last time S and I broke up (remember all the whining I did at the start of the blog when I thought it was over) and he was so gorgeous but seriously needed a helmet! I thought he was devoid of any personality and retarded. His sexual techniques were far from spectacular and too fast for my liking. In his defense I was super aggressive and acting like a porn star out of anger at S. so that might make anyone not perform to well the one time you have sex.

So there you have it my 10 ½ guys (hmm some say 11) I have on my list. Not everyone knows about all of them, and some do but now all my Blogger friends know. I think 11 over 8 years isn’t too bad? Let me tell you thank god for the two 4 year relationships I had because I have a feeling it would be in the 30 if I wasn’t.

The kitchen counter

As I walk through the door I put down the millions of bags I had target shit in and go to put some groceries away when all of a sudden I feel strong head rubbing my back, caressing me up and down. Slowly the strong hands start to undo my work slacks and remove my shirt. I can feel the temperature rising and we did it like animals on our kitchen counter! Full fledge, like the first months we dated, and fucked 8 times a day, hot sex and it was fabulous.

It’s so weird sometimes because I talk to my girlfriends and they are not into the random sex anywhere. Granted we all have been with our men for a while if not married but I swear some of them don’t have a sex life at all. After 4 years S. and I have sex almost everyday, and I don’t want it any other way.

I am opposite of most women in that when I am stressed and pissed at life I love to have sex. When I cum I forget about everything and it makes me feel like nothing is that big of a deal. I also somehow use it as validation (this could be good or bad) that S. still thinks I am sexy. I tell him over and over the day you stop trying to fuck me on a daily basis is the day we are going to have problems.

My girlfriends comment “I can’t believe you like to just fuck like that, he just comes up and takes you.” My response “HELL YA, I want hit me over the head, cave man hot sex sometimes.” Don’t get me wrong S is so good with PDA, foreplay, cuddling, talking before, during and after sex and we do have love making sessions, but sometimes I want that uncontrollable “you have to have me” sex. I don’t understand how that can’t make any women feel sexy. There are two reasons (I think with the exception of people with children) either

A. You’re man is not making you orgasm. This could be his or your fault. His if he is just inept but most times women I know don’t know there own body (Masturbation is a girls best friend too), or too afraid to be vocal in sex.
B. Or you are gay

After our christening of the kitchen counter I was like “Oh going to have to clean of the counter after that. Not very sanitary, hehe!” He turned around and said “Ha-ha, QG you think I care about the counter I eat you out on a daily basis and you think being on the counter is a big deal? Hahaha! Way to get domestic on me.

I officially own a condo and it is adorable. After my lawyer/Uncle started yelling at my realtor at the closing everything was smooth sailing, hehe! We bought a flat screen 46 inch Aquos TV which S. wanted to make love to and moved everything in on Saturday. Can I tell you how much I love being a women on the those days. Its universally known for any man who is moving to get another man to help. I will help you open the doors and unpack but I am not about moving huge couches, tables and beds. Thank god for ovaries and men's outdated view that we are too weak to handle it. It works in my advantage and I am fine with that.

Basically all weekend we just spent unpacking and decorating. S. was amazing and is great with tools. He didn't complain once and the place is looking more and more like home. We have very different changes. I want to repaint the cabinets and refinish our bedroom set but besides that everything else is new. With that said having a whole new bathroom is the most amazing thing not only because of the obvious advantages but I CAN TAKE A BATH! I have not taken a fucking bath in over 4 years. I am not a crazy anal retentive clean person but there was no way I was laying in the bath where 4 guys clean their dirty feet and jerk off on a weekly basis. So today on my lunch break I am going to buy a really nice bubble bath to just soak. Ahhhh that might be as orgasmic as well.....a orgasm.

It feels so fabulous to own our own place for some reason it makes me feel more adult! I know I know that sounds retarded but at the same time it is true. Well back to pretending to be an adult.

P.S. Say a prayer I have an interview tomorrow...which means I am calling out of work to take the interview.

Different weekend

Hmm lets see this weekend was fun and different. First off let me tell you I went out on friday with my girlfriends but have you ever been brought out with a friend due to vengenge? Let me explain Hair stylist was fighting with her husband so we went out for a drink around 4pm. She wanted to vent which is great but apparently her husband was mad and decided to make plans to go out just to piss his wife off. So then my girlfriend wants to go out even more to prove a point or something. So basically S. and I are being pulled in opposite positions because our friends who are supposed to be upset decide to act like pubescent little children. But on the bright side i got to hang out with my two girlfriends in my old watering holes. I have not been to those bars in a while (used to go all the time when I lived near there) . The nice thing is by the time I got home my man was naked and passed out.
Well after a few more drinks and debating with a McDonald worker (how can you not have a fucking chesseburger, YOU ARE MCDONALDS!) at 1am in the morning I get into bed and S. wakes up. He is half drunk, tired and deliriously funny. He starts asking for tacos and wants me to drive him while licking my armpit and rubbing against me (yes we have a weird sense of humor, hehe) but eventually we passed out.
Saturday afternoon I had the most amazing sex session ever. Whenever S. gets too little sleep from partying and has to go to work he comes home energized or is it delerious? Well whatever it is he ususally pounces on me and we have some hot afternoon sex! Well saturday was no exceptions. I came fucking 4 times! He was all about me, me, me, and did I mention me! I will say this S. and I have had issues (just read all the beginnning of this blog) but our sex life has never been one of them! Damn I am getting a hot shiver just thinking about it.
Sunday was the Engagement party and it was alot of fun but I think I should have ate more and drank less wine....Oh and taking a couple of hits of pot while your family is there does not make you look like a mature soon to be wife. Oh well my family knows i think it is more other people that thought that. How is it I was mature the night before but when I have an audience I can't stop drinking the wine. Mmmm red red lovely wine. I swear if I was asked to give up sex or wine (and I love both) it would definately take me a few minutes to decide.