Sometimes I feel like God, Buddha, Siddartha, Allah or whoever is up there likes to fuck around with me a bit…nothing horrible but always reminds me to keep a level head.
I have this amazing crazy time right now between the new job, teaching, and wedding shit that I feel pulled in two but this weekend was very ironic to say the least. I got my wedding dress and it is gorgeous and makes me feel amazing but two weeks before my new job my shit box car decides to shit the bed. What the fuck! Seriously two weeks before I get a new car!
So here I am reverting back to 15 and calling people and coordinating rides. It’s so weird not having a car because until you don’t have one you never really appreciate how much you use one. I actually forgot for a second that I didn’t have one and said to S. “I am going to get alcohol tonight”…. walked out into the parking lot and then looked around like a confused senile old lady until I realized I was car less. Luckily the liquor store is less than a block away! I felt like a homeless alcoholic walking home in the dark with a brown paper bag. (Side note: why the hell did my fiancé not offer to come and carry his own damn microbrew?)
On a different note need to remind myself over and over again that 3 martinis, 4 glasses of wine and two shots may seem fun in the beginning but your need to vomit will over take that fun. Lying on the floor of your bathroom is not acceptable at 26.Please say this over and over to yourself….
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Monday, March 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Razors are better than interviews!
So today is my interview…I am nervous but not too nervous. I am going to the “dentist” early today for the interview. I am nervous not because of the actual interview but more that I want the job so bad so I can get the hell out of here.
The main problem I have had with getting interviews is that I am basically changing careers. I would not be changing fields but my career within the field. I have been putting resume and cover letters to any and every company to try and so far I got one phone interview (decided I didn’t have enough experience) and this actual interview so I know this might be my only chance for a while. The new job would be a great start to a new year and I would get a new company care, corporate credit card, etc. The pay would be pretty much the same as I make now but I get way better bonuses each quarter if I make or exceed my goals.
As I prepare for this interview (hmm why did I chose the field of science again?) I think back to the two worst interviews of my life. Before I graduated grad school interviews had always been a breeze for me. Basically if I could get an interview I would get the job. Of course the jobs up to that point included waitress, marketing assistant, bartender and retail clerk. Not very impressive but my outgoing personality and success with such childish interviews gave me a bloated sense of confidence in the interviewing arena.
So when I got my first interview with Yale to be a research assistant I was excited and pretty much thought “hey how could they not want me?” HA believe me after this interview I could understand. I went in and the PhD dick head completely blindsided me with a chemistry test. What chemistry test on a fucking interview with no calculator? I completely froze and blanked. WORSE time ever to blank. I basically looked like a retard that couldn’t complete a math equation. He was particularly snide as he made it abundantly clear that I was an idiot. (Most PhD’s have a holier than god, I am king of the world complex) I couldn’t believe I fucked it up so much but realized it was best to have my first “real” interview go horribly wrong rather than a job I really wanted.
A couple more interviews my confidence grew. I would get further and further with a phone interview, then a first interview, but never got the job. I would prepare more and more for each new prospect. I then landed an interview for a state job with a lab and again felt prepared but not prepared enough. As I walked in I was greeted by two PhD’s who actually appeared nice and humble but after a few minutes of bullshit they brought be into a lab…to give me a practical. If you don’t know what a practical basically it is when you have to perform techniques (in my case lab techniques) with people watching and judging you. It is very intense and nerve wracking but what was worse apparently the lab had an issue with mold and had bleached the lab from top to bottom. The lab wrecked of bleach and it was so strong that paired with the stress of them watching me perform I almost PASSED out! Yup, gray in the face, short breaths, eyes in the back of the head, passed out. Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing it is to be 24 and almost pass out. Luckily the rest of the interview went great, I even got a 90 on the timed math tes (with a calculator this time, hehe) and I really clicked with the guy who would be my boss. I actually made it to the third and final interview where I was told it was between me and one other guy. Turned out he knew more about botany than I (damn hippie, hehe JK).
In the end it turned out OK the job I have now paid about 15,000 dollars more a year and they had benefits. So today I want out of my current job but serio0usly cannot wait for the interview to be over with. Maybe I will be asked to swallow razors while saying the alphabet backwards? That truly does not seem so bad just as long as I get the fucking job! Say a prayer, sacrifice an animal, do anything so that I get this job!
The main problem I have had with getting interviews is that I am basically changing careers. I would not be changing fields but my career within the field. I have been putting resume and cover letters to any and every company to try and so far I got one phone interview (decided I didn’t have enough experience) and this actual interview so I know this might be my only chance for a while. The new job would be a great start to a new year and I would get a new company care, corporate credit card, etc. The pay would be pretty much the same as I make now but I get way better bonuses each quarter if I make or exceed my goals.
As I prepare for this interview (hmm why did I chose the field of science again?) I think back to the two worst interviews of my life. Before I graduated grad school interviews had always been a breeze for me. Basically if I could get an interview I would get the job. Of course the jobs up to that point included waitress, marketing assistant, bartender and retail clerk. Not very impressive but my outgoing personality and success with such childish interviews gave me a bloated sense of confidence in the interviewing arena.
So when I got my first interview with Yale to be a research assistant I was excited and pretty much thought “hey how could they not want me?” HA believe me after this interview I could understand. I went in and the PhD dick head completely blindsided me with a chemistry test. What chemistry test on a fucking interview with no calculator? I completely froze and blanked. WORSE time ever to blank. I basically looked like a retard that couldn’t complete a math equation. He was particularly snide as he made it abundantly clear that I was an idiot. (Most PhD’s have a holier than god, I am king of the world complex) I couldn’t believe I fucked it up so much but realized it was best to have my first “real” interview go horribly wrong rather than a job I really wanted.
A couple more interviews my confidence grew. I would get further and further with a phone interview, then a first interview, but never got the job. I would prepare more and more for each new prospect. I then landed an interview for a state job with a lab and again felt prepared but not prepared enough. As I walked in I was greeted by two PhD’s who actually appeared nice and humble but after a few minutes of bullshit they brought be into a lab…to give me a practical. If you don’t know what a practical basically it is when you have to perform techniques (in my case lab techniques) with people watching and judging you. It is very intense and nerve wracking but what was worse apparently the lab had an issue with mold and had bleached the lab from top to bottom. The lab wrecked of bleach and it was so strong that paired with the stress of them watching me perform I almost PASSED out! Yup, gray in the face, short breaths, eyes in the back of the head, passed out. Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing it is to be 24 and almost pass out. Luckily the rest of the interview went great, I even got a 90 on the timed math tes (with a calculator this time, hehe) and I really clicked with the guy who would be my boss. I actually made it to the third and final interview where I was told it was between me and one other guy. Turned out he knew more about botany than I (damn hippie, hehe JK).
In the end it turned out OK the job I have now paid about 15,000 dollars more a year and they had benefits. So today I want out of my current job but serio0usly cannot wait for the interview to be over with. Maybe I will be asked to swallow razors while saying the alphabet backwards? That truly does not seem so bad just as long as I get the fucking job! Say a prayer, sacrifice an animal, do anything so that I get this job!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Catholic guilt and testicles
Whooo hoo it is Friday which everyone knows for corporate bitches like myself is the best day of the week. All I have to do is pretend to work for about 6 of the eight hours today until that wonderful clock turns to five. Tonight holds a great treat as well. As I mentioned before….ALL MALE REVUE! Ohh yeah, I know I seem really excited but I also feel like it pushes to my female lib side as well. I constantly feel like women get the shaft. I know we are emotional, nesters, etc but come on who doesn’t like looking at hot guys getting naked. Plus I understand the whole fantasy concept. I love S. and fantasizing about another man does not make me love him any less or want to cheat. That is probably why strip clubs don’t bother me as it does some of my other girlfriends. Do not get me wrong if my man was going every night wasting money on other chicks’ tits then I would be pissed but the occasional stag or trip with the guys just doesn’t phase me. Plus usually means some hot sex at the end of the night too.
On the work front I am kind of bugging out because another person is leaving from my department which means way too much work and not enough people. This is compounded by my complete lack of motivation because I too want to leave. I have been putting resumes out there and hoping for the best. I wanted to yell at him because now I am going to look like a bigger bitch for leaving anytime soon. I know I shouldn’t care since they wouldn’t give two shits about me but sometimes my catholic guilt (years of private school will do that) gets to me. Only good thing is that it shouldn’t be an overnight thing, since we all know corporate job hunting and hiring is about as slow as my grandmother, but still it takes awhile to train at my work so I would basically be fucking over my department.
Ok, OK need to stop worrying about my job and think of six packs, glistening bodies and balls in my face. A smile is already starting….
P.S. question for everyone what is the shortest you have stayed at a career type job before you left?
On the work front I am kind of bugging out because another person is leaving from my department which means way too much work and not enough people. This is compounded by my complete lack of motivation because I too want to leave. I have been putting resumes out there and hoping for the best. I wanted to yell at him because now I am going to look like a bigger bitch for leaving anytime soon. I know I shouldn’t care since they wouldn’t give two shits about me but sometimes my catholic guilt (years of private school will do that) gets to me. Only good thing is that it shouldn’t be an overnight thing, since we all know corporate job hunting and hiring is about as slow as my grandmother, but still it takes awhile to train at my work so I would basically be fucking over my department.
Ok, OK need to stop worrying about my job and think of six packs, glistening bodies and balls in my face. A smile is already starting….
P.S. question for everyone what is the shortest you have stayed at a career type job before you left?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
The week is looking throbbing and hard...I mean up!
This week is starting to look up. At the beginning of the week my boss was a complete bitch and flipping out which is no surprise since we are losing another engineer and the work load is insane to begin with. She gave me a hard time and I reminded myself over and over to not go postal on anyone. S. of course gets the brunt of my work venting since I know better than to vent to anyone within this company walls, you never know when people will open their mouth for their own sake. By doing this I have kept everyone on good terms and never had a complaint for 2 years. So S. is amazing at calming me and letting me release my anger with bitching and sex.
Well low and behold I get home yesterday and S. had drawn me a bath, was making dinner, cleaned up the condo, doing laundry, and ran all these errands for me. Can I tell you how much I love this man…I about fell over from just how amazing it felt that he did all that. So in return we went out with some friends for a few drinks (S has off on Wednesday so he always goes out) and I left early and made sure to order pizza and keep it warm for him. When he came home at 2 am he was ecstatic since you can’t find an open pizza joint at that hour. Sometimes it is so nice to do little things for each other. I am sooo corny I know but come on….sometimes you have to share the good things about your partner right?
The end of the week is looking fabulous as well. Going to get some six packs and balls in my face….AKA a male review! I am so excited and cannot wait for Friday. Seriously I think it is unfair that men have strip clubs everywhere and women do not have the same. Now I know there is no where near a market since most women are not comfortable with their sexuality but come on ladies the tides are turning, women are opening up sexually! Let’s make a market! Hmmmm maybe that is what I will do in the future open up a chain of strip clubs for women! Let’s see what would be a good name?
Martini Balls’
Cock and Wine
Six pack Luv
Hmm need to brain storm more….
Well low and behold I get home yesterday and S. had drawn me a bath, was making dinner, cleaned up the condo, doing laundry, and ran all these errands for me. Can I tell you how much I love this man…I about fell over from just how amazing it felt that he did all that. So in return we went out with some friends for a few drinks (S has off on Wednesday so he always goes out) and I left early and made sure to order pizza and keep it warm for him. When he came home at 2 am he was ecstatic since you can’t find an open pizza joint at that hour. Sometimes it is so nice to do little things for each other. I am sooo corny I know but come on….sometimes you have to share the good things about your partner right?
The end of the week is looking fabulous as well. Going to get some six packs and balls in my face….AKA a male review! I am so excited and cannot wait for Friday. Seriously I think it is unfair that men have strip clubs everywhere and women do not have the same. Now I know there is no where near a market since most women are not comfortable with their sexuality but come on ladies the tides are turning, women are opening up sexually! Let’s make a market! Hmmmm maybe that is what I will do in the future open up a chain of strip clubs for women! Let’s see what would be a good name?
Martini Balls’
Cock and Wine
Six pack Luv
Hmm need to brain storm more….
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Reveiws
It is that time of year in the wonderful world of corporate world….you may think thanksgiving, or Christmas? Oh No it is review time! The smell of fear and resentment is in all the halls reeking all around you. It is so funny to think that people really get upset over reviews. Now if it would directly affect your pay then maybe I would be concerned but in all honesty we get the same inflation raise every year about 2-3 %. If you get a real promotion which does not occur around the same time, then you will get a 10 % raise. Well with my pay it is not a huge difference so that is probably why I do not care.
When it comes to filling out your assessment I always get confused. I start to over analyze the psychology behind it (typical woman I know). Do they want me to come off confident and invincible? Do they want me to be humble? Both? Just offer my body? What? Then I realize I don’t care and I give the easiest answer.
On a side bar I am lucky to not have any real responsibilities a.k.a children…hence no one is depending on me to feed them or keep a roof over their head. So if my boss feels like firing me I would collect unemployment (I always wondered how that works but that is another story) and work as a stripper or bartend.
My boss Bull Dyke (I actually like my boss most of the times and I say that term in a good way) calls me in and basically tells me how wonderful I am, nobody has ever complained about me (uhhh hello I work with all men and I have a vagina, a heartbeat, and not hideous), fantastic attitude, and intelligent….but. You have to love that “but” right? It’s like they are prepping you for the worse. Why don’t you just say…life is wonderful but you will be dead soon, or everyone else in the world will be happy but not you. OK back to my story so I am wonderful but I need to pay attention to more detail. DETAIL? Well ok she is right…I just don’t care, and not because the details aren’t important (some are and some aren’t’) but I just don’t care about this job. I do not see the current workplace as a real career path. I of course cannot say this so I do what I always do, bend over and take it. Now do not get me wrong, if I felt she was wrong I would not agree or take it lying down but she was so I did. Why is it we are forced to take jobs that have nothing to do with anything we want to do just so we can do what we want eventually (whew say that fast)? Part of me is going to feel bad if I get the other job I interviewed for since they need all the help they can here..just not bad enough to not take the job and get a real fucking raise.
P.S. I will not kill my fiancé! I will not kill my fiancé.
When it comes to filling out your assessment I always get confused. I start to over analyze the psychology behind it (typical woman I know). Do they want me to come off confident and invincible? Do they want me to be humble? Both? Just offer my body? What? Then I realize I don’t care and I give the easiest answer.
On a side bar I am lucky to not have any real responsibilities a.k.a children…hence no one is depending on me to feed them or keep a roof over their head. So if my boss feels like firing me I would collect unemployment (I always wondered how that works but that is another story) and work as a stripper or bartend.
My boss Bull Dyke (I actually like my boss most of the times and I say that term in a good way) calls me in and basically tells me how wonderful I am, nobody has ever complained about me (uhhh hello I work with all men and I have a vagina, a heartbeat, and not hideous), fantastic attitude, and intelligent….but. You have to love that “but” right? It’s like they are prepping you for the worse. Why don’t you just say…life is wonderful but you will be dead soon, or everyone else in the world will be happy but not you. OK back to my story so I am wonderful but I need to pay attention to more detail. DETAIL? Well ok she is right…I just don’t care, and not because the details aren’t important (some are and some aren’t’) but I just don’t care about this job. I do not see the current workplace as a real career path. I of course cannot say this so I do what I always do, bend over and take it. Now do not get me wrong, if I felt she was wrong I would not agree or take it lying down but she was so I did. Why is it we are forced to take jobs that have nothing to do with anything we want to do just so we can do what we want eventually (whew say that fast)? Part of me is going to feel bad if I get the other job I interviewed for since they need all the help they can here..just not bad enough to not take the job and get a real fucking raise.
P.S. I will not kill my fiancé! I will not kill my fiancé.
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