Worth all the pain

All I can say is every woman in America should go to a male review! It is so much fun and not as bad as you would think. The show is campier than anything, but the guys definitely show the women a good time. I will give you a play by play of the evening so you can get an idea of how much fun the night can be.

I get out of work and as I am driving home realize that I have a great plan to save me and the ladies some money. If you are a bachelorette party the bride gets in free and everyone else is half price. So we split the money down the line evenly but we saved everyone like 15 dollars by purchasing a tiara, sash, and beads for the ladies. I am the only one with a ring so we decided it would be my mock bachelorette party. Hmmm I like the sound of that.

So we meet up at my girl Social work girl’s house and start to drink…started out with a shot and a vodka mixed drink. My girl Party girl (can party like an alcoholic man) gave me a different shirt to wear in sprit of my mock bach party. Now this shirt was a white baby T with two pink hand prints on the boobs and showed my midriff off quite nicely. After a few laughs and shots we drive to the venue and continue to drink. We get in and realize I am the only “bachelorette” which causes more and more people to offer shots. Hmmm Quarter life crisis girl turn down a shot? I THINK NOT….this ends up bad later but fun at the time. Before the show started they did a raffle for the ladies where you can win the chance to rub down the dancers before they hit to floor. Well, well, well guess who won….Oh yeah I did!

So as I go in the back and rub down this amazing specimen he basically smacked my ass as I was leaving. Errr this is definitely different than the female strip club where touching and grouping is highly forbidden. I am giggling and return to my girls. Eventually the show starts and I am put in the hot seat for a bit. Basically the hot seat in on the stage and the dancer gives you a lab dance and when I mean lap dance I mean he puts his face in your crotch, caresses you as he gets naked, hehe! It was fabulous and I did enjoy his nice tan ass. The ladies got some great pictures and video….hmm remembers to never run for president. After that I continue to drink….now this is where it gets hazy. Uhhhh more like I don’t remember a fucking thing.

Apparently we went to three more bars and I just kept drinking…until the upchuck reflex kicked in. I was very good about not puking anywhere public but the next thing I remember if being put in a cab home. I remember slurring something about not taking the long way home and screwing me out of money to the cabbie which made no sense because I just threw him a twenty anyway without waiting for the change. I somehow made it into my condo. (Thank god for old people who go to bed early) and passed out. I woke up with the worst headache and hangover and realized I am getting old. So old that I slept most of the day away and did not drink at all while attending a party on Saturday. So basically the whole weekend was kind of ruined due to some hot stripper’s ass, but hey I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Catholic guilt and testicles

Whooo hoo it is Friday which everyone knows for corporate bitches like myself is the best day of the week. All I have to do is pretend to work for about 6 of the eight hours today until that wonderful clock turns to five. Tonight holds a great treat as well. As I mentioned before….ALL MALE REVUE! Ohh yeah, I know I seem really excited but I also feel like it pushes to my female lib side as well. I constantly feel like women get the shaft. I know we are emotional, nesters, etc but come on who doesn’t like looking at hot guys getting naked. Plus I understand the whole fantasy concept. I love S. and fantasizing about another man does not make me love him any less or want to cheat. That is probably why strip clubs don’t bother me as it does some of my other girlfriends. Do not get me wrong if my man was going every night wasting money on other chicks’ tits then I would be pissed but the occasional stag or trip with the guys just doesn’t phase me. Plus usually means some hot sex at the end of the night too.

On the work front I am kind of bugging out because another person is leaving from my department which means way too much work and not enough people. This is compounded by my complete lack of motivation because I too want to leave. I have been putting resumes out there and hoping for the best. I wanted to yell at him because now I am going to look like a bigger bitch for leaving anytime soon. I know I shouldn’t care since they wouldn’t give two shits about me but sometimes my catholic guilt (years of private school will do that) gets to me. Only good thing is that it shouldn’t be an overnight thing, since we all know corporate job hunting and hiring is about as slow as my grandmother, but still it takes awhile to train at my work so I would basically be fucking over my department.

Ok, OK need to stop worrying about my job and think of six packs, glistening bodies and balls in my face. A smile is already starting….

P.S. question for everyone what is the shortest you have stayed at a career type job before you left?

FUCKING MEN!

Can I please rant like a lunatic bitch for a minute or two! I know nobody likes a whining person but S has this ability to fucking piss me off like there is no tomorrow. Conversation goes as follows

Me: Hey Hun I might be able to get tomorrow off and meet you at the beach, if that is ok with you?
S.: Yeah no problem that sounds good, how are you getting out?
S: Switching up vacation or just calling out?
Me: Switching up days it looks like it is going to be rainy on Monday so if it isn’t a problem could you just give me the address so I can map quest it?
S: Don’t have that as soon as I get the address I will get it to you?
Me: Cool hopefully I will get the ok from my boss for tomorrow or I am going to take Thursday off?
S: Thursday, why are you going to take Thursday off?
Me: Well if I can get tomorrow off it will be cool if not Thursday is going to be sunny too?
S: Whatever go hang out with MAC girl….
He hangs up on me!

What the fuck, you are hanging up on me because of why? I don’t know what day I can get off? I have never been hung up on like that for any reason! I wasn’t yelling, pissed off or anything. All of a sudden he is mad because I made plans tonight after he told me he was going out! What the fuck? He is going out with Frank to his Boss’s house in a little ritzy beach town. His mid life crisis well off boss will pay for everything and show them a good time. Now let’s be honest, they will probably get really drunk and either hit on girls (the boss is single) or go to the strip club. I don’t care but of course Stylist does so I am sure this is not being mentioned. Or I could be paranoid due to the previous post, but basically I don’t want to sit home while he goes out and hang with the guys while I sit home like a good little fucking housewife. I am tired of the guys getting to go out to strip clubs, etc while my only fun is supposed to be shopping or my nails. FUCK that I am not going tomorrow and going to the beach with my friend Jew friend. I tried to find a male review to find some hot eye candy for myself but they all seem to be further away then I would like them to be. She may be a cheap but she is fun, loves to flirt with guys, and get free drinks. Plus she wouldn’t rat me out for the same. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I don’t know how I let this man irritate me so much. I know I have to pick my battles and it is not that big of a deal but what the fuck! Want to punch him in the fucking balls right now!