Vegas + Work = Crap

So I am going to Vegas for a week for work....now before you get all excited please remember two things.

1. It is for work so we will be in conference rooms all day and night
2. I am pregnant..

So this trip is going to suck balls and basically I cannot do anything sinful in Sin city and will have a 3 hour jet lag.

Sorry to be a pain and so whiney but to go to Vegas under these circumstances is just plain cruel. I have gone before for a bachelorette party and that is how you do Vegas.

Mini Breakdown

Have you ever felt so pulled at every direction in your life at once that you thought you were going to explode? That is how I feel right now. Let me list off what I am doing right now.

1. Full time Engineer job- this place is crazy and getting worse everyday! I am so glad I am getting out of here
2. Teaching job- How am I back to studying? This is a lot more than I had anticipated and basically adding a second job makes me have almost 70 hr work weeks.
3. Planning a wedding – which actually is more stressful paying for it.
4. Trying to get a new job- had to study a lot for this too, who new getting a new job would be so fucking stressful. This is a little better since I got the offer now I have to take the drug test and wait for the background check.
5. Dealing with a best friend who after 10 years is getting help with her bulimia. This is emotionally draining since her family is not being as supportive as they should be.
6. Being the made of honor for my best girlfriends wedding…just stuffed over a hundred shower invites.
7. Grandmother dying…enough said.
8. Add on trying to pay bills, keep condo clean and get some sleep.

Sometimes I am fine but last night my girlfriend who is going through this tough time needed me but then got defensive (as any recovering addicted person deals with) and I just broke down after I left. Not so much just because of her but because of everything. I am so thankful for my whole life and would never change anything sometimes I just wish there was more time….especially for sleep. I can feel the exercise and sleep deprivation making it harder and harder to remember shit.
Then I think how the fuck do people do all of this and then have kids? WTF? How do they do it? I give so much props to my mother who did all of it with her own graphic design company, but tack on 4 kids too. I need to go bring her a huge bottle or red tonight and thank her profusely.

Can you believe it...

I seriously have not done a lick of real work today! I have had stupid pointless meetings and surfing the web. I just can't get into any of it. I need to get on the job hunt today. I am such a cyclical person. I will be so diligent and anal retentive for like 2 months than nothing. I seriously hope my bosses never realize that they are paying me to

1. write my blog
2. post discussions on criagslist
3. email everyone all the fucking time
4. look up new jobs and wedding shit
5. smoke ciggerettes
6. be a lazy piece of shit

Why do I want to leave this job again?

Honestly I know this sounds like an excuse but I hate my fucking job so I usually have very little motivation. I get what needs to be done and I am somehow faster than my coworkers but I really could be working faster and better.

Onto other news do you remember Greek guy? He is the back and forth guy who I could have really seen myself with but he was horrible in bed and after several attempts i couldn't break myself from S. (who is amazing in bed and I have been in love with for 4 years). Honestly I used to call him whenver S. and I were fighting to make myself feel better (I know I can be a fucking bitch sometimes) but it is hard because pretty much besides the sex thing greek guy was great.

So I get an email out of the blue from him and he was asking about me getting married and I replied back. The next email I got was from him saying he was getting married. Whoah...not that I am not happy for him but we talked in April and he had just broken up with a long term live in girlfriend and I know he wasn't dating anyone (He asked me out) and all of a sudden 8 months later he is getting married? Hey I guess to each their own, rushing isn't for me but some people don't mind. He is pushing to meet for drinks which I am all about but I get this weird feeling he is doing it to prove to me he is over me, which honeslty I don't care...So I am going to go to see what the deal is (update to follow). I hope he isn't so fucking bizarre in bed with his fiance as he was with me..the poor thing.

Curse of the bartender

I have aquired a great skill over the years due to working as a bartender for years. It is the ability to hear numerous conversations at once. During graduate school I bartended at numerous restuarants and bars and over time you learn to listen more carefully to the customers and hone in on 5 different customers at once. Most importantly this was used so you can interact with a drunk person on a intimate level and that meant more drinks and tips. People want to feel that even strangers care about them and their lives.

Yet this skill I have aquired makes it very difficult at work to concentrate. Example my crazy, pathetic, pubic hair chest, mid life crisis coworker is going through an on and off divorce. (He cheated on her for years because she got fat, nice guy huh?) So I constantly hear his conversations with his ex wife and his lawyers. Then I can hear my boss repromanding a hourly worker for being late the 5th time in the last two months. I overhear the ladies talking shit about some other lady who happens to be 10 pounds lighter.

I guess what sucks about this skill is that over time it just makes me realize how shitty people truley are. Do not get me wrong I am no saint but seriously I thought as we got oldr the whole "talking behind someone's back" would become less and less aparent. Errr apparently it is just replaced with "being civil". How is it we cna rationalize talking shit and being overall horrible and say we are just being professional?

I think that is one of the things I hate about corporate world. Everyone is fake...I have always been the type of person to let you know how I feel about you. If I don't like you I do not become some dramatic bitch I just won't go out of my way to be friends with you. I would want the same thing but in corporate world it is all about politics..or is it soothing everyone's ego?

Is all this ego soothing equivalent how schools are giving ribbons to everyone at school instead of the winner? What is happening to people? I am thinking to deeply before a 4 day vacation! Everyone pray my work will let us out early!!

Have a Happy Thankgiving Everyone!

Short update

I can't write to much since I was out yesterday and work is fucking crazy! My boss sucks and the work load is insane. Basically S. is out of commission since he might have a slipped disk or something so I spent yesterday tending to him (will post more on that) and I will explain why I am getting to old to go to the clubs (somebody threw sprite in my fucing face!). I will take a lunch tomorrow to blog my little head of but for now just have to make it through the day and make sure S. is ok.

P.S. Insurance companies and Human resources can suck my pink asshole!

Damn work

Hmm can't write much have to finish a big projet before Happy hour tonight and the strip club. Thank you Asshole doucebag Boss I love last minute projects before a fun night. Thank you for stripping my life force a little more everyday. Will report in tomorrow with news of tonight's debauchery, I promise!!

The week is looking throbbing and hard...I mean up!

This week is starting to look up. At the beginning of the week my boss was a complete bitch and flipping out which is no surprise since we are losing another engineer and the work load is insane to begin with. She gave me a hard time and I reminded myself over and over to not go postal on anyone. S. of course gets the brunt of my work venting since I know better than to vent to anyone within this company walls, you never know when people will open their mouth for their own sake. By doing this I have kept everyone on good terms and never had a complaint for 2 years. So S. is amazing at calming me and letting me release my anger with bitching and sex.

Well low and behold I get home yesterday and S. had drawn me a bath, was making dinner, cleaned up the condo, doing laundry, and ran all these errands for me. Can I tell you how much I love this man…I about fell over from just how amazing it felt that he did all that. So in return we went out with some friends for a few drinks (S has off on Wednesday so he always goes out) and I left early and made sure to order pizza and keep it warm for him. When he came home at 2 am he was ecstatic since you can’t find an open pizza joint at that hour. Sometimes it is so nice to do little things for each other. I am sooo corny I know but come on….sometimes you have to share the good things about your partner right?

The end of the week is looking fabulous as well. Going to get some six packs and balls in my face….AKA a male review! I am so excited and cannot wait for Friday. Seriously I think it is unfair that men have strip clubs everywhere and women do not have the same. Now I know there is no where near a market since most women are not comfortable with their sexuality but come on ladies the tides are turning, women are opening up sexually! Let’s make a market! Hmmmm maybe that is what I will do in the future open up a chain of strip clubs for women! Let’s see what would be a good name?

Martini Balls’
Cock and Wine
Six pack Luv

Hmm need to brain storm more….

My addiction

Hi my name is Quarter life crisis Girl and I have an addiction. I am addicted to Craigslist forums. I constantly look on different forums during the day that it is starting to affect my work and mood. I get mad at everyone when people do not post.

I am so serious that I love the forums on Craigslist…including LTR, women’s issues, wine, and fixit. I love sometimes going on forums that I have no business being there and checking out people and sometimes the crazy trolls. Divorce is a sad one to go into because you see the bitterness. Frugal is funny to see how ridiculous people can be to save. I am a girl at heart so women issues and LTR are definitely where I spend a lot of time. The rant and raves are pretty funny as well. People for the most part already know the answer but just want to hear it over and over again. He slept with my dog and cat should I stay with him? I impregnated other women should I tell my wife? WHAT the hell? Now do not get me wrong I am no better since I love to lurk on these forums but sometimes I am amazed that these people can even type let alone function in society. Sometimes there are truly heartfelt stories where I feel for them and offer some help and sometimes I just fall out of my chair laughing hysterically because the stories are that good.

I cannot access certain parts of CL from work for obvious reasons. The kink forum and personal ads are off limits, yet I can look up naughty blogs? Weird I know, but I gather the IT team looks at websites that are visited the most (aka Myspace, Meet up, etc) and ban them. Websites with any type of sexual content, booze, or fun is off limits. Alright I know we should be working like busy little bees all day long but come on lets get serious, nobody is getting paid enough to not surf a bit online at work. So I continue to feed my addiction with CL and of course all the crazy, great, honest, true to life or lives I wish I had blogs. So to all I say LOUD and PROUD I am addicted to CL and you my fellow bloggers. Now where are the donuts and bad coffee?

Hmm weekend and a possible interview!

OK so the weekend was once again a druken blur...hmmm I need to relax with the booze when you get yet another scrape and ruin your jeans and you have the following converstation with a cab driver (hey I was responsible and took one home).

Me: Hi, can you take me home to..... its off exit 26.
Cabbie: Ohh I brought you home last night didn't I?
Me: Oh shit yeah you did and you sold me that great weed and let me smoke in your cab, can I light up?
Cabbie: No problemo you can do whatever you want...you are so beautiful do you know that
(Side Note: I looked like a drunken mess)
Me: Ohhh thanks thats nice, just trying to get home.
Cabbie: You know what?
Me: What?
Cabbie: I will give you as much weed as you want and the ride for free if you give me one hour in a hotel room with you.
(Side note: Now most women would be offended by this but I could not help but laugh that he thinks that would be enough to convince me to sleep with him)
Me: Laughing so hard, Uhhhhh sorry I am not a hooker and I am a good girl, but thanks for the offer.
Cabbie: Are you sure?
Me: Hahha, yeah I am sure!
Cabbie: Well here have this anyways (hands me a marlboro pack)
Me: Ohhh thanks (I open it and it does not have ciggerettes rather a big bag of weed)
Me: Ohhh I can't pay for this and I am not going to sleep with you...
Cabbie: Ohhh don't worry about it, just take it.
Me: I repeat I am not going to sleep with you for anything
Cabbie: It's not a problem just take it.
Me: I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP with you
Cabbie: No I know, don't worry
Me: Uhh ok (as I stuble out of the cab, throw a 20 at him and bolt)

As I get into my apartment I just about fell over thinking I was just given a free bg for nothing but I was also apparently so hooker looking after drinking all night that someone thought I was, hehe! Maybe its a sign from god that I either need to stop drinking or hookers get alot of great perks. Need to ponder over that?

On my professional forefront I got a call back for an interveiw for a job that I applied for like 4 months ago. WHAT the fuck why do big companies post jobs for ever but take forever to answer. Oh well I am going to set one up to see if I can get more moeny out of them. Updates will follow as for now i will pretend to work as an engineer and start bartedning my weekends away (hmm maybe I should look into being a hooker, hehehe)

The Company Picnic and yeager

Well this friday was the company picnic! Which actually was nice since it was 11-4pm I did not have to wake up early. Basically it is mandatory and everyone had to either go or take a vacation day. Hmmm give up a beach day when I can sleep in anyways! FUCK Nah....so I sucked it up and went to the picnic. It started out fabulous having to wait in traffic to get to the camp ground. I kept thinking, wait is this the right way to the picnic or is there a beatles reunion concert where John Lennon came back from the dead. It took an hour to go about 5 miles. BUT low and behold at the end of it was the company manager to give me a bag and towel with our companies name on it. Ohhh thank you good sir this company towel will make me forget that i am underpaid and that the whole company is crazy. It was different to see people in regular clothing and by the looks of some of my cowoworkers they liked my short denim skirt and tank top as well. I basically hung out with Safety guy and R&D guy for the day. I then went and started to drink with two coworkers and this proceeded until the end of the night. Next year I will remember to take a flask so when I can drink. Drinking would make me forget quicker that I hate my job before a towel will.

New Computer should be shipping out tomorrow, WHOOO fucking hoo! I get a new whiz bangy gorgeous laptop. Now I just have to wait for it to be delivered! I realize as time goes by I have very little to no patience! Well I guess I should revise, I can wait for certain things. Wine, sex, HBO series, things of that nature. Can not wait for computers, in lines, sales, sex, food, and people who are late. Back to pretending to work and send out more resumes (time to move up and on!)

Friday

Some good things for this Friday:
I can breathe through at least one nostril.
I woke up from a dream where I wanted to kill S. but when I awoke he had his hand in mine (corny but nice).
It’s Friday so I don’t have to work tomorrow
Pathetic co-worker with the pubic chest hair had a half day so I do not have to avert my eyes anymore.
Going to Boston tomorrow with S, Frank, and Hairstylist.
Some bad things about this Friday:
I still can’t breathe out of the other nostril and somehow it moves from one side to the other. Does my snot have a brain is it moving around inside my head.
In the dream S was puking and drunk out of his mind and I could not get him to move…reminds me of old times.
My pants are getting tight…with being sick, BBQ’s, Birthdays, etc I have not been going to the gym basically at all.
I want to fall asleep sooo bad right now.

Feel like shit!

Ok so I feel like shit...my nose is raw as fuck from sneezing and wiping my nose. My eyes keep watering due to the sneezing so it appears to be a visious cycle. What i love the most is that I always have really big hot projects when I am either sick or about to go on vacation. Apparently i have both, since I took this wednesday off and i feel like shit. I do not have allergies, hmm maybe it was from all the partying I did this weekend. Dammit, I miss being able to go on three day party benders and not feel it. FUCK getting older!

Mondays start the work week right?

So I know I haven’t given you too much background on what I do for a living since I was so wrapped up in the S bullshit but basically I sold my soul to the devil for paid vacations, insurance and a steady paycheck. I think when I finished graduate school I was going to have a plethora of jobs waiting for me…..well sure as shit I did not. I must have put out a million resumes and although I did have about 6-7 interviews I never got it. I would make it to the top 5 or top two but never the actual job. I finally got talking to a friend and his sisters worked at the company I am at now. I got an interview and got the job. Which should be great right? BUT the job I got is not at all what I went to school for, granted its in the same field, kind of…but not at all what I want to do.
At this point I had to take it because the week before I almost stabbed a customer while I was bartending (NOTE: Bartenders do not enjoy drunken people because we are not drunk). I almost had a breakdown because all I kept thinking was “WHAT the fuck I did not go through 6 years of school for this bullshit!” Luckily S was really great and gave me the pep talks that calmed me but basically I took a job I was not really trained for.
It is so funny to work in a corporate company since I finally realize that most people are not working very hard. Granted there are the ‘go getters” but when you compare how much other work or lack of work they are doing the go getters are not doing much. I am one of those non-workers. I got sucked into the relaxed state of the corporate world (I know I know you think that doesn’t exist) but think of Office space. It appears that since there are so many people that are doing the bare minimum it is enough to keep the company afloat.
Mondays for example I come in for the morning business meeting and then get my coffee. Chit chat with other workers about there weekend, then I am off to email people (you would think coworkers, ohhhh but that is not the case) and waste more time. Then around 10 I got for my cigarette break and then maybe I will do something. I can honestly say I maybe do about 2 hours of work a day (unless it is a crazy pressing project). So although I am not excited about my job or even the work I do how can I walk away from such a tit job right now. I think I need to get some motivation that I used to have…..or is the corporate doomed to suck that out of me too?