I know I am the worst blogger ever, and there is no one to blame but myself. Soooo lets try and sum up the last 5 months. Started my new whiz bangy job which I love. I am a legal drg dealer who wines and dines medical professionals (I have lots of great fucked up stories to come...). I also got married which was great and it went so well and was a blast (lots of stories too) and still have a tendency to drink to much.
I still have the quarterlife craziness, hmmm all of a sudden I have become a baby machine or should be because to my parents there is absolutely no other reason to get married. My new name should be Mrs. Resistant to become a breeding machine just yet. Luckily my sister just got pregnant so that should hold them off for a while. I mean really what other parents besides irish catholics are asking you a month before you walk down the aisle when you are getting knocked up (after they offer you a drink). My response is " I have spent this long not trying to get pregnant and I would like to drink at my wedding?"
Lots of drama with the friends which will dedicate whole blogs for each of them. Luckily and knock on wood I have no craziness as of now. Family good, Husband good (sounds way to weird and almost snooty to say that shit) and work is good. I am holding my breath that this will last since I have never had happiness in all three at once ever. THANK you for that right now. I will be better about keeping up with this since I miss all of my bloggers!
Showing posts with label anal sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anal sex. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thursday, November 29, 2007
The "List"
The other day for some odd reason I started to think of my “list”. Everyone has the “list” of their sexual partners and how different parts of your life and outlook change the type of lovers you have. I think pre-sex was the best training for me to have a really healthy sex life. I figure hey why not share with everyone (plus as time goes it gets more and more difficult to remember) in the internet world.
When I was younger I was a tomboy, sports, and a lot of guy friends. This actually helped me not have sex until I got to college. I would hear true insight at what men think and how sex is. Plus lest not forget how fertile my family is on both sides. My father comes from a family of 11 kids and all married which gives me something about 45 blood cousins (crazy sexual Irish Catholics with no protection).
I basically realized I did not want to be a practicing post for most men, because face it I didn’t know my body and most men around that age don’t either. So when all the girls I knew said sex was so great, years down the road admitted that sex then was a mish mosh of awkwardness like two fish flopping on the sand. Plus the big O didn’t occur for a majority of my girlfriends, while the teenage guy pounding away got his. Do not get me wrong this is not all the guys fault I didn’t even start masturbating till college, so how do I expect a man to know how to please me when I didn’t? I couldn’t fathom having sex which wasn’t going to make me feel great for the risk of being knocked up. I wasn’t going to let crappy sex ruin four years of partying which was on the horizon.
I did have one situation which I still debate with friends as to whether it is considered sex but I will list that with the others. So without no further ado the list!
1. First love (oh to be young and naive): He was the first guy I got butterflies for and who also broke my heart. I never cared about someone before, even if they broke up with me. This is the debate: He was the first guy I did anything with included a debacle of a hand job (rug burn), and getting naked. We basically attempted to have sex when I was 16 and when I say attempted I mean he put it in, I freaked and he took it out. No thrusting, no pain, no movement, and no ejaculation…so do you consider that sex for the first time?
2. Senior guy: I was a freshman, he was a cute senior, I was drunk and just decided to do it. Nothing special, wasn’t forced (I showed up at his door later that evening) and honestly didn’t even want to be with him. I think my curiosity at that point was so high about what the fuss was about that I just did it with this nice guy I knew wanted to be with me, so if I got emotionally attached it would last at least a little while. Well needless to say I was so disappointed…that’s it? This is what everyone is talking about? It didn’t hurt, it pretty much didn’t do anything. At the end I started to get dressed and he stammered “Aren’t you going to stay over?” I looked back and replied “Uhhh no thanks, don’t feel like doing the walk of shame, thanks and we're still friends right?”
3. Big Dick boy: This guy who I met was white but had the biggest dick I have ever encountered! I mean like 8-9 inches. This was a huge change and actually not for the better. I couldn’t be on top and other positions were uncomfortable. I dated him about 4 months but still didn’t orgasm but didn’t quite wince as much.
4. Latin Lover: This was a great experience not that I orgasmed but I finally felt some passion and the guy’s dick was perfect. We did it in the basement bathroom of our dorm because we both had roommates that knew we had boyfriend/girlfriends. I can say one thing Latin men say the most amazing things to you and are so much fun in bed…downside usually sluts so a relationship is never going to happen.
5. Short guy: He was a guy I dated in the summer that I met on E at a rave. We talked and talked but when we stood up he was about 5 inches shorter. I am 5’10 so you get the drift. I dated him for the summer and fucked him in my car near a lake. Good times but I never found my panties.
6. Virgin: I took a guy’s virginity in college. I was so drunk and invited him back, started having sex, went to turn on the lights, fell over a fan, continued to have sex till I got sick and passed out. Sooo romantic for the guy. In my defense I didn’t know I took his V card till a mutual friend told me. I actually felt so guilty I continued to date him and guess what? I fell head over hells in love with him and was with him for 4 years! He and I explored each others bodies; I finally experienced an orgasm and anal sex. We did everything under the sun and both found our sexuality together.
7. S. : He was the first time I had ever truly cheated. The guy in college that I was seeing never made it official but with Virgin boy we were engaged! I don’t know what happened but I fell for S. immediately mentally and physically. The sexual tension was so high I felt like orgasming when he looked at me. I resisted for over three months and we hung out a lot. S. and I became a couple after I crushed poor virgin, who to this day I fell awful about.
8. Threesome: On one of S and I breakups, I found out S. was already sleeping/dating someone else within a day or two of breaking up. He had met her at the bar the night we broke up and took her home. I was enraged, hurt and distraught so one night while hanging out with two good friends of mine (not my normal group but grad school peeps) my girlfriend (who has been with both sexes) started hitting on me, one thing lead to another and my other guy friend was coming over anyways so when he got there we invited him in. The weird thing about the threesome was that both parties wanted me so a lot of focus was on me. They wouldn’t fuck each other only me. I can honestly say it was fun, different and at some points way to much stimulus. I held that secret as a “fuck” you to S even when we got back together. I thought” Hahha, something you always wanted and I got it without you!” He eventually found out and still isn’t truly comfortable about it. Hey you fucked me over and I had a threesome.
9. Greek boy: He was another one when S and I broke up (only twice over 4 ½ years) and he was such an amazing person. He could have been the only man that swayed me from S. He was adorable, tall, dark, handsome, hilarious, smart, rich, and sweet but one major problem. He was awful in bed and weird about it too. I think he had a virgin whore complex? He really liked me and I him, so he couldn’t just fuck me. I was the virgin and fucking me would make me a whore. Hmmm I like being both. So we have done the back and forth thing, always calling over the last three years when both of our love lives are in peril. But timing and his lackluster performance has made it so my children will never be Greek and I will not be rich. DAMMIT, hehe.
10. Hot Idiot Boy: He was the one guy I slept with this last time S and I broke up (remember all the whining I did at the start of the blog when I thought it was over) and he was so gorgeous but seriously needed a helmet! I thought he was devoid of any personality and retarded. His sexual techniques were far from spectacular and too fast for my liking. In his defense I was super aggressive and acting like a porn star out of anger at S. so that might make anyone not perform to well the one time you have sex.
So there you have it my 10 ½ guys (hmm some say 11) I have on my list. Not everyone knows about all of them, and some do but now all my Blogger friends know. I think 11 over 8 years isn’t too bad? Let me tell you thank god for the two 4 year relationships I had because I have a feeling it would be in the 30 if I wasn’t.
When I was younger I was a tomboy, sports, and a lot of guy friends. This actually helped me not have sex until I got to college. I would hear true insight at what men think and how sex is. Plus lest not forget how fertile my family is on both sides. My father comes from a family of 11 kids and all married which gives me something about 45 blood cousins (crazy sexual Irish Catholics with no protection).
I basically realized I did not want to be a practicing post for most men, because face it I didn’t know my body and most men around that age don’t either. So when all the girls I knew said sex was so great, years down the road admitted that sex then was a mish mosh of awkwardness like two fish flopping on the sand. Plus the big O didn’t occur for a majority of my girlfriends, while the teenage guy pounding away got his. Do not get me wrong this is not all the guys fault I didn’t even start masturbating till college, so how do I expect a man to know how to please me when I didn’t? I couldn’t fathom having sex which wasn’t going to make me feel great for the risk of being knocked up. I wasn’t going to let crappy sex ruin four years of partying which was on the horizon.
I did have one situation which I still debate with friends as to whether it is considered sex but I will list that with the others. So without no further ado the list!
1. First love (oh to be young and naive): He was the first guy I got butterflies for and who also broke my heart. I never cared about someone before, even if they broke up with me. This is the debate: He was the first guy I did anything with included a debacle of a hand job (rug burn), and getting naked. We basically attempted to have sex when I was 16 and when I say attempted I mean he put it in, I freaked and he took it out. No thrusting, no pain, no movement, and no ejaculation…so do you consider that sex for the first time?
2. Senior guy: I was a freshman, he was a cute senior, I was drunk and just decided to do it. Nothing special, wasn’t forced (I showed up at his door later that evening) and honestly didn’t even want to be with him. I think my curiosity at that point was so high about what the fuss was about that I just did it with this nice guy I knew wanted to be with me, so if I got emotionally attached it would last at least a little while. Well needless to say I was so disappointed…that’s it? This is what everyone is talking about? It didn’t hurt, it pretty much didn’t do anything. At the end I started to get dressed and he stammered “Aren’t you going to stay over?” I looked back and replied “Uhhh no thanks, don’t feel like doing the walk of shame, thanks and we're still friends right?”
3. Big Dick boy: This guy who I met was white but had the biggest dick I have ever encountered! I mean like 8-9 inches. This was a huge change and actually not for the better. I couldn’t be on top and other positions were uncomfortable. I dated him about 4 months but still didn’t orgasm but didn’t quite wince as much.
4. Latin Lover: This was a great experience not that I orgasmed but I finally felt some passion and the guy’s dick was perfect. We did it in the basement bathroom of our dorm because we both had roommates that knew we had boyfriend/girlfriends. I can say one thing Latin men say the most amazing things to you and are so much fun in bed…downside usually sluts so a relationship is never going to happen.
5. Short guy: He was a guy I dated in the summer that I met on E at a rave. We talked and talked but when we stood up he was about 5 inches shorter. I am 5’10 so you get the drift. I dated him for the summer and fucked him in my car near a lake. Good times but I never found my panties.
6. Virgin: I took a guy’s virginity in college. I was so drunk and invited him back, started having sex, went to turn on the lights, fell over a fan, continued to have sex till I got sick and passed out. Sooo romantic for the guy. In my defense I didn’t know I took his V card till a mutual friend told me. I actually felt so guilty I continued to date him and guess what? I fell head over hells in love with him and was with him for 4 years! He and I explored each others bodies; I finally experienced an orgasm and anal sex. We did everything under the sun and both found our sexuality together.
7. S. : He was the first time I had ever truly cheated. The guy in college that I was seeing never made it official but with Virgin boy we were engaged! I don’t know what happened but I fell for S. immediately mentally and physically. The sexual tension was so high I felt like orgasming when he looked at me. I resisted for over three months and we hung out a lot. S. and I became a couple after I crushed poor virgin, who to this day I fell awful about.
8. Threesome: On one of S and I breakups, I found out S. was already sleeping/dating someone else within a day or two of breaking up. He had met her at the bar the night we broke up and took her home. I was enraged, hurt and distraught so one night while hanging out with two good friends of mine (not my normal group but grad school peeps) my girlfriend (who has been with both sexes) started hitting on me, one thing lead to another and my other guy friend was coming over anyways so when he got there we invited him in. The weird thing about the threesome was that both parties wanted me so a lot of focus was on me. They wouldn’t fuck each other only me. I can honestly say it was fun, different and at some points way to much stimulus. I held that secret as a “fuck” you to S even when we got back together. I thought” Hahha, something you always wanted and I got it without you!” He eventually found out and still isn’t truly comfortable about it. Hey you fucked me over and I had a threesome.
9. Greek boy: He was another one when S and I broke up (only twice over 4 ½ years) and he was such an amazing person. He could have been the only man that swayed me from S. He was adorable, tall, dark, handsome, hilarious, smart, rich, and sweet but one major problem. He was awful in bed and weird about it too. I think he had a virgin whore complex? He really liked me and I him, so he couldn’t just fuck me. I was the virgin and fucking me would make me a whore. Hmmm I like being both. So we have done the back and forth thing, always calling over the last three years when both of our love lives are in peril. But timing and his lackluster performance has made it so my children will never be Greek and I will not be rich. DAMMIT, hehe.
10. Hot Idiot Boy: He was the one guy I slept with this last time S and I broke up (remember all the whining I did at the start of the blog when I thought it was over) and he was so gorgeous but seriously needed a helmet! I thought he was devoid of any personality and retarded. His sexual techniques were far from spectacular and too fast for my liking. In his defense I was super aggressive and acting like a porn star out of anger at S. so that might make anyone not perform to well the one time you have sex.
So there you have it my 10 ½ guys (hmm some say 11) I have on my list. Not everyone knows about all of them, and some do but now all my Blogger friends know. I think 11 over 8 years isn’t too bad? Let me tell you thank god for the two 4 year relationships I had because I have a feeling it would be in the 30 if I wasn’t.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Daily Rants
Can I just rant a bit about life?
How is it that thanksgiving has not even passed and Christmas commercials, decorations, music and crap is being plastered everywhere? Every year it gets started earlier and earlier…by the time I am forty Christmas will be celebrated and after new years I will want to rip my eyes out due to sale signs for Christmas being put up again.
No sex in four days!!!! This shit is bothering me and even worse I have not masturbated either. I know this sounds strange but S. is home all day and it is a one bedroom condo. I don’t feel like its right to just leave and do my thing? See I have a whole set up of lights off, candle set, music on…basically I truly fuck myself but masturbation has always been a backup or used for erotica during sex. I know it is not right to feel this way but I feel like it would just put it right up in his face that you can’t fuck me right now. He said he felt good enough last night for me to be on top but I am too petrified to even do that. God forbid I start riding him and go buck wild without realizing he is crying in pain and really fucked hi back up for good! How could I live with myself and even more how would you explain it to the doctor?
Work sucks, work sucks, work sucks….the interview process is not going great, shit the getting a call back is not going great. I am basically trying to change fields but within the same type of companies. So I have to do a little more networking or start sleeping with bosses? Any takers? (Hmm did I mention I haven’t had sex in four days?)
I will reiterate how much corporate companies suck for anything more than a higher paycheck and better benefits. Yesterday I had to go to a focus/training/waste of my fucking time seminar group thing. Basically our company was under a huge global company but we decide to separate and become a stand alone company. We are still a global force but lots of changes have and will continue to occur. So they have us in groups of ten with all different departments, standing for two hours going over stupid colorful maps trying to shove down our throat the mission of the new company and how much we should love all the ridiculous hard work that is coming. All the while they are bashing the old company…when it suddenly hits me. Didn’t they do the same fucking thing the last time they switched companies? They always make it sound like big better changes are going to occur, and they are all about the customer! BULLSHIT…it is going to be the same crap day in and day out and nothing will matter but the bottom line. Fucking strategic department!
I need to go on a diet starting soon; I can feel my pants getting tight. I gauge my weight by my clothes since I cannot at this time go out and buy a whole new wardrobe if I gain a few. I guess being poor has its advantages.
That is my rant and I can honestly tell you I feel so much better and relaxed after I purge all my annoyances on my blog. Blog I love you and your way to make me feel cleansed of all the stupid, annoying (really not the end of the world but drives me nuts) things in life.
How is it that thanksgiving has not even passed and Christmas commercials, decorations, music and crap is being plastered everywhere? Every year it gets started earlier and earlier…by the time I am forty Christmas will be celebrated and after new years I will want to rip my eyes out due to sale signs for Christmas being put up again.
No sex in four days!!!! This shit is bothering me and even worse I have not masturbated either. I know this sounds strange but S. is home all day and it is a one bedroom condo. I don’t feel like its right to just leave and do my thing? See I have a whole set up of lights off, candle set, music on…basically I truly fuck myself but masturbation has always been a backup or used for erotica during sex. I know it is not right to feel this way but I feel like it would just put it right up in his face that you can’t fuck me right now. He said he felt good enough last night for me to be on top but I am too petrified to even do that. God forbid I start riding him and go buck wild without realizing he is crying in pain and really fucked hi back up for good! How could I live with myself and even more how would you explain it to the doctor?
Work sucks, work sucks, work sucks….the interview process is not going great, shit the getting a call back is not going great. I am basically trying to change fields but within the same type of companies. So I have to do a little more networking or start sleeping with bosses? Any takers? (Hmm did I mention I haven’t had sex in four days?)
I will reiterate how much corporate companies suck for anything more than a higher paycheck and better benefits. Yesterday I had to go to a focus/training/waste of my fucking time seminar group thing. Basically our company was under a huge global company but we decide to separate and become a stand alone company. We are still a global force but lots of changes have and will continue to occur. So they have us in groups of ten with all different departments, standing for two hours going over stupid colorful maps trying to shove down our throat the mission of the new company and how much we should love all the ridiculous hard work that is coming. All the while they are bashing the old company…when it suddenly hits me. Didn’t they do the same fucking thing the last time they switched companies? They always make it sound like big better changes are going to occur, and they are all about the customer! BULLSHIT…it is going to be the same crap day in and day out and nothing will matter but the bottom line. Fucking strategic department!
I need to go on a diet starting soon; I can feel my pants getting tight. I gauge my weight by my clothes since I cannot at this time go out and buy a whole new wardrobe if I gain a few. I guess being poor has its advantages.
That is my rant and I can honestly tell you I feel so much better and relaxed after I purge all my annoyances on my blog. Blog I love you and your way to make me feel cleansed of all the stupid, annoying (really not the end of the world but drives me nuts) things in life.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Damn work
Hmm can't write much have to finish a big projet before Happy hour tonight and the strip club. Thank you Asshole doucebag Boss I love last minute projects before a fun night. Thank you for stripping my life force a little more everyday. Will report in tomorrow with news of tonight's debauchery, I promise!!
Friday, October 19, 2007
My addiction
Hi my name is Quarter life crisis Girl and I have an addiction. I am addicted to Craigslist forums. I constantly look on different forums during the day that it is starting to affect my work and mood. I get mad at everyone when people do not post.
I am so serious that I love the forums on Craigslist…including LTR, women’s issues, wine, and fixit. I love sometimes going on forums that I have no business being there and checking out people and sometimes the crazy trolls. Divorce is a sad one to go into because you see the bitterness. Frugal is funny to see how ridiculous people can be to save. I am a girl at heart so women issues and LTR are definitely where I spend a lot of time. The rant and raves are pretty funny as well. People for the most part already know the answer but just want to hear it over and over again. He slept with my dog and cat should I stay with him? I impregnated other women should I tell my wife? WHAT the hell? Now do not get me wrong I am no better since I love to lurk on these forums but sometimes I am amazed that these people can even type let alone function in society. Sometimes there are truly heartfelt stories where I feel for them and offer some help and sometimes I just fall out of my chair laughing hysterically because the stories are that good.
I cannot access certain parts of CL from work for obvious reasons. The kink forum and personal ads are off limits, yet I can look up naughty blogs? Weird I know, but I gather the IT team looks at websites that are visited the most (aka Myspace, Meet up, etc) and ban them. Websites with any type of sexual content, booze, or fun is off limits. Alright I know we should be working like busy little bees all day long but come on lets get serious, nobody is getting paid enough to not surf a bit online at work. So I continue to feed my addiction with CL and of course all the crazy, great, honest, true to life or lives I wish I had blogs. So to all I say LOUD and PROUD I am addicted to CL and you my fellow bloggers. Now where are the donuts and bad coffee?
I am so serious that I love the forums on Craigslist…including LTR, women’s issues, wine, and fixit. I love sometimes going on forums that I have no business being there and checking out people and sometimes the crazy trolls. Divorce is a sad one to go into because you see the bitterness. Frugal is funny to see how ridiculous people can be to save. I am a girl at heart so women issues and LTR are definitely where I spend a lot of time. The rant and raves are pretty funny as well. People for the most part already know the answer but just want to hear it over and over again. He slept with my dog and cat should I stay with him? I impregnated other women should I tell my wife? WHAT the hell? Now do not get me wrong I am no better since I love to lurk on these forums but sometimes I am amazed that these people can even type let alone function in society. Sometimes there are truly heartfelt stories where I feel for them and offer some help and sometimes I just fall out of my chair laughing hysterically because the stories are that good.
I cannot access certain parts of CL from work for obvious reasons. The kink forum and personal ads are off limits, yet I can look up naughty blogs? Weird I know, but I gather the IT team looks at websites that are visited the most (aka Myspace, Meet up, etc) and ban them. Websites with any type of sexual content, booze, or fun is off limits. Alright I know we should be working like busy little bees all day long but come on lets get serious, nobody is getting paid enough to not surf a bit online at work. So I continue to feed my addiction with CL and of course all the crazy, great, honest, true to life or lives I wish I had blogs. So to all I say LOUD and PROUD I am addicted to CL and you my fellow bloggers. Now where are the donuts and bad coffee?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Nightmares...
Holy shit I had the most bizarre nightmare last night. I will not go into the whole long drawn out version but short story is that S. hit on some girl right in front of me and I broke it off. I proceeded to warn the new girl, and as I was walking out I saw my ex of 4 years (guy I was with before S. and all through college) and we reconnected. It has always been a back and forth of the ex and S.
The ex and I were engaged but I was so young and not ready and he had never been with anyone else. I remember when I was engaged with the ex I started having dreams and nightmares then too. I woke up so pissed and realized it was a nightmare. It was so vivid I was ready to walk out and needed to calm myself. The only good thing is right at that moment S. put his strong arms around me and cuddled, felt really good but my heart was running a million miles a minute. How can dreams be so real, and why am I dreaming about an ex? Sometimes just sometimes I feel like a guy. I have to remember to not freak out. I think I am starting to wig out a bit since the condo closing is coming closer and that is the first thing that really links us together. Why can't I just relax, and stop thinking like a man? Isn't the man supposed to be freaked out about commitment? I want to marry him and I love him but these dreams are not helping me!
The ex and I were engaged but I was so young and not ready and he had never been with anyone else. I remember when I was engaged with the ex I started having dreams and nightmares then too. I woke up so pissed and realized it was a nightmare. It was so vivid I was ready to walk out and needed to calm myself. The only good thing is right at that moment S. put his strong arms around me and cuddled, felt really good but my heart was running a million miles a minute. How can dreams be so real, and why am I dreaming about an ex? Sometimes just sometimes I feel like a guy. I have to remember to not freak out. I think I am starting to wig out a bit since the condo closing is coming closer and that is the first thing that really links us together. Why can't I just relax, and stop thinking like a man? Isn't the man supposed to be freaked out about commitment? I want to marry him and I love him but these dreams are not helping me!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Back to normal...
So with summer as most people are my schedule is fucked up! So many parties, BBQ's, weddings, drinking, beach, etc. You get the idea hence I have no set schedule...but I am taking it back goddammit! I am going to make my life bornig and border loser if it takes everything I have. I want to go back to laundry, cleaning, and the gym! I want to get up go to work, go to the gym, clean, eat dinner, watch TV and thenhave great sex a ciggerette and pass out next to S. Hmmm what the fuck is wrong with me! Before I wanted a life, now i have it and I want no life, hehe! Uhhhhh can we say I am totally a gemini!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Anal sex is sometimes needed!
Sometimes Anal sex isn't so bad....like that night. I sometimes want to be that dirty slut pron star and to be honest if you can let yourself go (which is why most women don't like it, tense =pain) you can get off. I got off sooooo good last night! What can I say sometimes its just better in the pooper!
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